Comments on: Last Name: Keep It Or Change It?

By: Zandria.us » I Prefer to Call it “Selective”

Zandria.us » I Prefer to Call it “Selective” — Thu, 26 May 2011 19:49:02 +0000

[...] Maybe they’ll think that dating someone with different food preferences would be too much trouble, or maybe they just don’t trust a person who wouldn’t enjoy a nice, juicy steak once in a while. But if I’ve hurt my chances of meeting a man who only wants to date a meat-eater, that’s not someone I would care to get to know anyway (just like with someone who would expect me to change my last name). [...]

By: Zandria.us » Strong Women, Strong Voices

Zandria.us » Strong Women, Strong Voices — Thu, 26 May 2011 16:26:23 +0000

[...] previously written about why I don’t want to change my last name if I get married. Kerrianne got married last year and she’s currently thinking about this question of What to [...]

By: VIRGINIA

VIRGINIA — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 02:56:13 +0000

Well, I’m Spanish, so we don’t have to decide about this. In Spain everybody have two surnames, the first is the father’s and the second the mother’s surname. So mothers NEVER have the same as their husbands or children. The only people who have the same two surnames are the brothers and sisters. So, this is the reason for us it’s so strange the anglo saxon system. People in Spain never change their name in their entire lives and for us couples with the same surname seem to be brother and sister. It is more practical because it’s very improbable to find someone named exactly like you. You also can name a child like her mother or father and they are never going to be confused because although they have the same first name one surname is different. English people have asked to me “but how do you write the couple?” like if it were a big problem. You simply could write to Fernandez Gonzalez family but we generally don’t do that, we simply write one of the adults name with the address on the envelope and then we refer to the hole family in the text, beginning with a “Hola a todos” (Hello everybody)

By: Veronica

Veronica — Thu, 15 May 2008 18:32:59 +0000

I feel the same as Jaymie, above. I did not work this hard for 27 years to become Ms. Veronica MyLastName, Esquire, to be called Mrs. Future Husband’s Name. ACK, nothing makes me angrier than seeing those words!

By: Jaymie

Jaymie — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:03:53 +0000

I didn’t change my name when I got married, for a few reasons:

1. It’s my name, and I am attached to it. I would feel like I would be giving up my identity of the last 27 years.

2. I had a stepfather, and a mother with a different name and it never seemed to be a problem

3. It still seems very patriarchal

4. He wouldn’t even consider taking my name

5. My name is easier to spell! :)

Unlike Goodsnake, I don’t see not changing my name as an unwillingness to be part of a team. We were together for a long time before marriage and have made that commitment to stay together, regardless of what we name ourselves.

I have gotten a few remarks from my MIL and even mail (from both families) addressed to Mr. and Mrs. J. Doe. That pisses me off.

By: Mary P

Mary P — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 21:14:58 +0000

My husband and I are from California. When we got married we decided to merge our names together to make a new name (think Smithjones). We debated which name would go first for a while but the one that sounded better was his first, then mine. We got married & our friend, who married us, announced it at the end of the ceremony. None of our friends or family thought twice about it. It seemed very “us” and worked well. We both were attached to our names but wanted the same name for our “family”, and we hate the hyphen option.

When we went to the social security office to change our names they looked at us a bit funny, but didn’t question it. We got out new card right away. Same with driver’s licene, bank, passport. As long as we had our wedding licence, no one questioned. My husband and I had a completely seamless time.

We love our new name & wouldn’t have it any other way.

By: VivaciousVegan

VivaciousVegan — Sat, 03 Feb 2007 00:26:04 +0000

Hi Zan,

I’m really liking the new layout! I changed my name when I got married. I briefly thought about keeping my maiden name but I never liked it much. Plus, I liked the idea of being the Smiths. A joint name that told everyone we were a family.

I did have a friend whose husband changed his name to her last name. His last name was Douche but he always said it was pronounced Doo-Chay but no one ever pronounced it “correctly”. I would have changed my name too if I were him.

By: fw sunshine

fw sunshine — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 03:11:14 +0000

I can’t imagine changing my last name – it’s as much a part of me as my first name. This said, I can’t say that my viewpoint on this would remain the same if I did meet someone and get married. And THAT said, the whole ‘maiden name’ and assuming your husband’s last name is just a wee bit too patriarchal for me. AND…I’ve been independent for so long that to change my name, midway through my life, would be kind of silly.

To each her own, though.

By: Sweet

Sweet — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 14:38:30 +0000

I love my last name. Who knows? Maybe I’ll convince my future husband to take it?

By: janet

janet — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 05:21:07 +0000

I changed mine because I don’t want to worry about it when we have kids, and I don’t want to hyphenate the kids (because when does the hyphenation end???)

I guess I’m just glad that nobody pressured me or anything when I was deciding. It was up to me, and I liked that. I do wish that on average husbands changed their names to the wives names just as much.

(Side note: when your layout changed I think your rss feed address changed, so I wasn’t seeing new posts in my rss reader. thank goodness I noticed and changed it, but I just thought you might want to know?)