VALENTINE’S DAY: LOVE AND HATE

(Note: this is cross-posted at BlogHer.)

I’ve never had a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day, so I’ve never really done anything special to celebrate. There have been card exchanges with friends and chocolates from my parents when I was little — but the holiday has never been a big deal to me. The upside to this is that I don’t get depressed when this “holiday of love” rolls around. I treat it as just another day. But, unlike me, there are many people out there who have strong feelings: the thought of Valentine’s Day can easily bring about a love/hate response.

But first, a few things that I found interesting:

15 percent of U.S. women send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day.

More at-home pregnancy tests are sold in March than in any other month.

Women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.

One billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making it the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas.

[Although there are more women than men in the world]…For every 120 single men who are in their 20s, there are 100 single women in the same age range.

Source

Katie resents the message that she has to be given permission to do something nice for herself. When she saw someone on TV telling all those depressed single gals to get out and “Do something nice for YOU,” she had this response:

Oh, really? Can I, please? Because all of these floggings I give myself on a daily basis for being such a loser-y single can get tiring and it seems a day off might be nice.

I’ve been single a long time and I’ve never felt any want when it comes to the “festivities” of Valentine’s Day: I don’t protest by wearing black, I don’t speak about it like “The Black Day of Death,” there is no gnashing of teeth or rending of garments, and I certainly DO NOT skulk and mope.

I also liked what Katie had to say about commercialism:

I think it’s an amazingly crafted scheme generated by Hallmark and picked up on as “something to talk about” by the media to validate the “greatness” that is Valentine’s day — let’s face it, one single person means one less person receiving that too-expensive Hallmark card with a sappy sentiment scotch-taped to a heart-shaped Whitman’s Sampler adorned with a red satin ribbon. I’m not sure, but nothing says romance like a totally corporate gift.

Dcrmom doesn’t agree with the commercialism of Valentine’s Day either, but she’s more conflicted about it since she enjoys receiving gifts:

So here we are, once again, on the brink of Valentines Day. [My husband and I] haven’t discussed it yet. If it does come up, we will likely tell each other, “Don’t spend any money on me.” And we will both mean it, probably him a little more sincerely than me. Ahem.

…when all is said and done, we will be satisfied that we did our American duty to boost the economy while at the same time attempting to rekindle the romance that all too often gets trampled on by demanding kids and the hectic grind of the day-to-day.

Although down deep inside, we will know that we sold out, once again, to Hallmark’s grand scheme to rule the world, one commercialized holiday at a time.

Heather is no longer single, but she remembers having some strong feelings in the past:

I resented all the commercials for diamonds. I banged on the keyboard when I got those e-mails from FTD Florist guilting me because someone wasn’t buying me a dozen red roses. I wanted to send them hateful notes thanking them for rubbing it in. I wanted to organize groups of angry, single women to picket local stores.

Nurse M doesn’t think people should show their feelings on just one day. She asks, “Which person will you be?”

Everyday should be treated like V day… everyday we should show the person we love that we care, yet unfortunately we don’t. We save it up for that special day. Expectations are high. Feelings are often hurt and others left disappointed. Some will walk around with a glow, while others will stomp around saying how much they hate this commercial holiday. You will hear “I hate Valentine’s day,” (but on the inside hopes of someone sending something). “Her flowers are better than mine, but I guess it is the thought that counts.”

An9ie worked in her sister’s flower shop in Australia one Valentine’s day (a holiday which falls in the middle of summer on that side of the globe), and gives us a florist’s perspective.

Florists love and hate Valentine’s Day. They love it because it’s the one day of the year where they earn enough money to pay off all their debts. They hate it because they have to work their butts off and they know they won’t get any sleep the night before.

And, finally, I found this report about how there are many Valentine’s flowers coming in from other countries that have been dosed with toxic chemicals. Flowers coming into the U.S. can’t have bugs on them, but they’re not tested to see if they contain chemicals. Also, Forbes says that “the average lovestruck consumer will spend nearly $120 on Valentine’s Day this year.”

14 Comments



  1. Yeah V-Day usually doesn’t bother me either. But considering I’m now the only single one in a house of four it might be a little tougher this year!

    Posted February 13, 2007 at 10:13 am #
  2. Comments on some of the statistics, here (I don’t know if I can use blockquote in the comments, and there’s no “preview” button for me to test it with):

    «More at-home pregnancy tests are sold in March than in any other month.»

    Ooh, here we have the old fallacy of equating sex with love, rather than using them to complement each other. “Hey, Hon, we’re supposed to be romantic today. Let’s have sex.” Noooot really the right approach.

    «Women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.»

    I suspect that women purchase approximately 85% of all greeting cards, of any variety, so I wouldn’t put too much into this stat.

    «One billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making it the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas.»

    Yay. Hallmark® wins.

    And that’s exactly the problem I have with V-Day (I’d call it “VD”, but that has other connotations, alas): Hallmark wins. It’s just a commercial extravaganza, lining the pockets of those who sell greeting cards, chocolates, and flowers, with no redeeming value. (N.B. I have nothing against purveyors of those items, and they need to make a buck too, but really….)

    People who love each other should celebrate that all the time, not just on one day.

    People who want a “special day” should use their own, making it truly special. Why should one want to do it on the same day as everyone else does? Do you want “your song” to be the same as everyone else’s too?

    ————

    That said… Happy V-Day, Zan. And to the rest of you reading this as well.

    Posted February 13, 2007 at 10:51 am #
  3. I’m just going to test blockquote in a comment:

    …the thought of Valentine’s Day can easily bring about a love/hate response.

    Delete this test comment, if you like.

    Posted February 13, 2007 at 10:57 am #
  4. Interesting article about the chemical-laden flowers. I’ve heard great things about http://www.organicbouquet.com/

    March being the most popular month for tests makes sense, not just because of Sweetest Day, either. We’re all cooped up inside, wanting to stay snuggly and warm :)

    Posted February 13, 2007 at 11:00 am #
  5. These are really interesting tidbits. I wouldn’t say that I love or hate Valentine’s Day, but I think it’s pretty arbitrary, at best. It doesn’t coincide with anything significant for my husband or me, so it’s kind of random. It’s more of an excuse to inject some sweetness into the daily grind, at least for me. I don’t make it a habit to bake cupcakes, you know?

    I read elsewhere (and confirmed on Wikipedia!) that Feb. 14 is also the anniversary of Arizona being admitted as the 48th state. Go, Arizona!

    Posted February 13, 2007 at 11:00 am #
  6. i’m pretty much with RA – i don’t love or hate valentine’s day. i love pink and hearts and girly things and sweet treats, so i like that part of valentine’s day. sometimes i send all my friends those cheap valentines we used to give out in school or put out a bowl of conversation hearts for my co-workers — it’s a fun excuse to do cutesy stuff like that. i had fun making my partner a homemade card last night and it was fun to get out the construction paper and scissors and glue stick. we usually don’t do valentine’s presents but sometimes we’ll go somewhere romantic as a combination valentine’s day/anniversary celebration (our anniversary is the first week in february) to take advantage of the long president’s day weekend.

    i don’t like commercialism in general, but valentine’s day has nothing on christmas in that regard. for someone like me whose car radio is tuned to public radio and whose tv-watching is dedicated to tivo, i barely even notice the valentine’s commercialism.

    Posted February 13, 2007 at 1:32 pm #
  7. Wow, I had no idea that many women sent flowers to themselves. That is freaky.

    Posted February 13, 2007 at 1:49 pm #
  8. I’ve had my fair share of both coupled and singled V-days. Either way I don’t really care about it. Hubby and I agree to not exchange gifts and I made him promise not to get me flowers (I asked that he put $20 into our house savings fund instead).

    However, I will use it as an excuse to eat chocolate!! :)

    Posted February 13, 2007 at 3:04 pm #
  9. I just posted on this, too. And I left a gift for my husband on my blog. But it cost me nothing but some baring of the soul:-)

    Posted February 13, 2007 at 4:36 pm #
  10. Valentine’s Day? Where?

    We don’t celebrate V-Day, and never have. I actually surprised C last year with flowers and dinner out because I knew it would be the one day of the year he would NOT be expecting anything.

    The commercialization is why we really just ignore it — I don’t see any reason to give Hallmark my hard-earned $4 for a card.

    Posted February 13, 2007 at 4:44 pm #
  11. Well I’ll be single tomorrow for the first times in years. On the upside I get my 2006 bonus on this weeks pay check (which gets direct deposited tomorrow) so at least I have something to celebrate by myself. And no sharing!!
    I’ve always been against buying/receiving the normal V-day gifts like cards and flowers. Why spend $80 having a dozon roses delived when I can get a new pair of jeans for that price? Why spend $3-5 dollars on a huge frilly card that you will read once and toss….I know some people do really care about them but they do nothing for me. I’m ok with chocolate and other gifts that last forever! But as some of you said it is important to love each other EVERY day…not just when the calendar tells us to.

    Happy Hugs & Kisses day Zan!!

    Elissa
    Posted February 13, 2007 at 6:28 pm #
  12. Thank you for quoting me, Zandria! I am so chuffed to see myself up there :) Just a little scene of Valentine’s Day from the other side of the looking glass. There are a lot of florists out there with burning eyes and pricked thumbs who haven’t had any sleep since yesterday.

    But who needs to wait for a valentine to celebrate how wonderful you are? Buy yourselves a big box of gourmet chocolates and a sweet-smelling posy – you deserve it!

    Posted February 13, 2007 at 7:24 pm #
  13. Interesting heart-beats. I love the concept of V-Day, once I get past the commercialism.

    Posted February 13, 2007 at 9:49 pm #
  14. I’m with Nurse M. Why limit expressions of love to one day per year? And why does everyone think that expressions of love mean things?

    I’m happily married and I don’t know that we’ve ever done much of anything to celebrate this day. But I do know that we’ve done lots of things to celebrate every day. I don’t want stinky flowers and dopey cards. I want emotional support and laughs. Where’s the holiday for that idea?

    Posted February 14, 2007 at 6:47 am #

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  1. By Zandria.us » What Draws People To You? on May 26, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    [...] Favorite Holiday for Single Women Everywhere,” instead of taking another look at what we love and hate, I think this is the perfect time to celebrate why we are so [...]

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