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Interracial Relationships

I grew up in a Baptist church-going family: father and mother, two sisters, two brothers. We attended church every Sunday and Wednesday, up until the time I was about 15. Even though a majority of the church members and other people we hung out with at the time were white, it didn’t end up making a difference years down the road.

My parents split up when I was 16, and my mother is remarried to a black man. One of my sisters has dated a black man. And the girl that my 18-year-old brother is currently seeing is black. I met her for the first time a few weeks ago, and I wasn’t told anything about her skin color until she walked in the front door. Nobody felt the need to mention it in advance. It was a non-issue for them and they knew it would be the same for me.

But that isn’t the case for everyone.

Even though attitudes have become more accepting over the years, people involved in interracial relationships sometimes tell a different story. After all, don’t we tend to be accepting of certain situations as long as they don’t involve us directly? What about when it’s your child?

[Read the rest of this post at BlogHer]

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7 Comments

  • Reply DefenseEngineer March 26, 2007 at 9:42 am

    I am an equal opportunist male chauvinist pig.

  • Reply RA March 26, 2007 at 9:49 am

    This is such an interesting post for me since JG is Caucasian and I’m Asian. I feel like we forget that we have an interracial marriage until someone brings it up to us. It seems like such an official term for something that is normal for us, which is off-putting. I realize that there are implications to coming from different cultural backgrounds, but since we have such similar values and goals, it seems to fall by the wayside.

    That said, we do have to deal with varying expectations that come from each side of our families, so it’s a constant learning experience, but I think that’s how it goes for any couple.

    Once again, I will have to ponder more and see if I can shape that into some coherent post. Thanks!

  • Reply Sijbrich March 26, 2007 at 9:56 am

    I really enjoyed that video. I am Caucasian and my husband is Peruvian Chinese. My parents have been very accepting, but I know that if I had chosen to be with an African American, they might have had a harder time with it. I don’t think either of my parents consider themselves to be racists, but with little “harmless” comments they make, I know that they are a bit. I think it has a lot to do with the generation that they grew up in…it’s a complicated matter.
    I also think it’s interesting to show how people from other races are racists, it’s just different than what I, as a Causasian, am usually aware of. I’m glad that you chose to address this topic.

  • Reply jen March 26, 2007 at 10:12 am

    that’s good you one less potential dating issue to worry about, if you ever get around to dating!

    the bloggers you quote raise a lot of interesting issues. however, that quote by lizzie struck me as a bit odd — that race is a non-issue in her life. i don’t pretend to know what it’s like to be in a racial minority, but i suspect that, for the most part, only us white folks have the luxury of race being a non-issue in our lives. and for that reason i don’t understand how race could be a non-issue for someone in love with a person of color.

    and i’m not sure race should be a non-issue in any of our lives. race IS a huge issue in our society. to make a cheesy theater metaphor, racial injustice and intolerance are major themes in the american narrative, and all of us are playing roles in that drama whether we personally hold racist beliefs of not.

    but i’m probably just reading too much into things again! 🙂

  • Reply Marie D. March 26, 2007 at 10:15 am

    Interesting. I have dated 2 black guys in the past but that was casual, we never reached the point to which one of them would have met my family – so I don’t know what the reaction would have been. I wouldn’t consider my parents racists, and there have been a lot of marriages between people from different countries in the family (but always from European countries and inside the same religion) but I know they would worry if I was with someone of a different faith, because it can raise problems once you have kids.
    But hey, it’s up to the 2 people within the relationship to make it work whatever the differences!

  • Reply Daniel Pennant March 27, 2007 at 3:07 am

    I think every person is peaceful from the day he was born .So i think wherever the live or whatever people they get along with ,even the interracial relationship .

    Everyone have free to do the thing that he likes .

    Daniel Pennant

  • Reply Alyndabear March 28, 2007 at 5:47 am

    My partners mum is Australian, and his dad is Sri Lankan, so they do get stares sometimes. Personally, I find it rude and think people should just learn to mind their own business, really. Jase is half Sri Lankan, which I think is really interesting and unique!

    Partnerships (mostly) aren’t formed because of appearances. Really, it shouldn’ve even be an issue.

    I say if you love ’em, that’s all that counts.

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