(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)
I have become a texting fiend. I blame this partly on the acquisition of one of those nifty cell phones with a mini-keyboard (I recently switched to a new provider), and partly because I have caught the texting bug.
I used to be all about the emails. After all, I’m generally not far from a computer for a long period of time. But it’s different with text messages. You can be anywhere. The other person is likely to have their phone with them, even if they’re not by a computer. And because you’re limited to the amount of words that will fit on the screen (or how long your fingers and thumbs can hold out), you don’t feel pressured to write something book-length or overly edit what’s on the screen.
I liked Liz’s description of why she enjoys receiving text messages:
It’s like getting a surprise poke — that vibrates and makes you giggle. It’s a way to say: Hey, This is what’s up. Or just: Thinking of you. Or, I’d imagine though I’ve never gotten this one: I love you. Or: I picked up the milk. Or: whatever. No big convo, just… poke, poke, vibrate, giggle. Text messages make you smile, from lovers and from friends.
I know exactly what Liz means. My friend Christina texted me yesterday just to wish me a good morning. My sister contacts me via text to see how I’m doing. Short and sweet, but effective. It’s nice to know other people are thinking about you.
In May of 2006, Time did a report on the popularity of text messaging with teens.
When the world’s first text message was sent in 1993, no one foresaw that in just over a decade, the laborious act of texting would become a principal means of communication between teens, or that it would transform the rules and rituals of adolescent courtship. Unlike talking on the phone, texting provides an emotional screen that hides shyness and awkwardness; it also buys time for the less acute to compose seemingly effortless repartee.
Then New York magazine talked about the prevalence with which adults are using texts to hook up.
“I use text messaging to schedule all my booty calls,” says Deborah, 27, a publicist. “It usually takes about ten messages until we’re on our way to meet.” It doesn’t stop there. “We continue to text-message until the door of my place or his is opened and we connect. We even send BlackBerrys from the elevator.” Texting as foreplay: ideal for the busy urban booty caller.
In addition to using texts to hook up, CNN did a report on what they called modern romance: getting texted when love is near, but has not yet been found.
Match-making companies are creating new services that allow people to post their dating profile online and then automatically receive a text message on a GPS-enabled phone when a match is nearby, say, at a coffee shop around the corner.
Asian Mistress says we might have many forms of communication, but…
There are all these ways to communicate with one another, and yet people just aren’t communicating. You can have email, instant message, text message, and phone calls…but yet still not be able to talk to someone face to face. [...]
I worry about future generations, how are they going to act when it comes to dating. It almost makes me wish for the days of the past, where the man picked the girl up, they went to dinner or a movie, eventually they were “going steady” and then maybe, they would get engaged and married. There was structure, and there were rules. Now it seems, anything goes.
It’s true — anything goes with text messaging, from hooking up to breaking up. In her post, Elizabeth says this particular break-up situation is hypothetical:
I have a universal law for you: Never drive off without paying for your gas and leave your cell phone at the pump.
Because chances are, the employees of the gas station will find your cell phone. And then, maybe your girlfriend will send you a text message, and those bored employees will text her back. Once they find out that she tried to break up with you via text (a text you didn’t get, since you were a shoddy criminal and left your cell phone at the scene of the crim – and if you were as shoddy a boyfriend as you are a criminal, then she probably has more than ample reason to sever all ties with you), things will quickly escalate into large quantities of amusement and rapid-fire texting.
Just remember: it might be fun to talk with your fingers, but don’t overdo it. Elle Woods listed this as one of her dating commandments:
Thou shall not smother me. If I have to send you a text message asking you to text me less before we even go out, it’s probably not going to work.
In other words: if you want to be a texting fiend, make sure the other person does, too.
12 Comments
I feel like a dinosaur when it comes to texting; I just don’t do it. I’m at a loss if I’m using a non-QWERTY keyboard and even entering new phone numbers into my phone is painful. I subject my friends to rambly voicemails or even more rambly e-mails instead.
Also, is there a consensus on how okay it is to text at the office? I find it really unprofessional, but my co-workers apparently disagree…
I love texting, but sometimes it does get out of control. I can’t stand when people text you one word messages. That’s obnoxious.
It can, however, be quite fun when you’re just starting to date someone. So on that I agree w/ New York Magazine.
I too have become a texting fiend lately. Enough so that I’m seriously thinking changing my monthly mobile plan. (Plus you know, get that new phone I need.)
This is a great post!!
Now that I’m single, I also have discovered the joy of texting. It’s great, it’s like this little rush you get every time your phone goes “beep beep beep”. Zandria and I were trying to explain to our younger sister Angela last weekend how it was like getting a virtual hug.
I absolutely can relate with the New York Times post. Just last night I went to see “my friend” and we texted up until I was pulling into his apartment complex. It’s so convienent when someone can text you and ask you to stop for a bottle of wine when you’re 2 blocks away. (of course I brought a bottle with me so no need to stop…thinking ahead, my man likes German Reisling) Or when they can text and ask what you’re wearing… Ummm…texting is great! Am I supposed to refer to myself as the “busy urban booty caller” now?
I used to do that a lot, texting, but not anymore. I prefer e-mails because I talk/write A LOT and the space available for text messages is too small LOL
Plus, on the dating field, I have noticed that they make the game even more complicated. Do they count as a phone call or not? I never know!
Texting is pretty popular. A whole new language came out of it too. (like saying ‘w8 4 me’ instead of ‘wait for me’)At least here in The Netherlands, I’m not sure in your country.
Ok, must confess… I cannot use text shorthand. It *pains* me. I don’t care if it takes me longer and I use more characters. I just can’t bring myself to do it.
I’m with RA on this. I just don’t do text messages. I don’t think that I’ve found the charm in them yet, so I don’t send them and rarely respond to ones that I receive. Now maybe if I had a swanky new keyboard phone I’d feel differently about them. But I don’t, so no text messaging for me.
When Jase and I were in the “pre-relationship” stage, it was ME that made the first move – via text message, because I figured if he knocked me back it wouldn’t be as embarrassing because I could just delete the resounding NO,
Luckily, he said yes.. and I am therefore still in love with text messaging. :P
What sassymonkey said. I’ll go to pains to use standard spelling and punctuation in text messages. I’ve also had bad results when trying to arrange to meet people via text message. Because of the brevity required, some vital details were misinterpreted.
This was definitely a great post. I discovered the joys of texting quite some time ago and love it. It’s so convenient to be sitting anywhere and be able to tell someone what’s on your mind. I did get a few weird looks though this past semester in school while sitting in my anatomy class and texting under the table. While I agree texting is great for letting people know “you are thinking of them” there should also be a line drawn and nothing major (aka breaking up) should be done by text.
I am a serious texting friend to those that like texting. I have friends who either do not text at all or we text more than we talk on the phone. One thing I love about it is I have my friends in groups on my phone and I can send one quick text to 6 girls that says hey plans changes going to this restaurant at 7.
The match making texting thing where they text you that a match is near by weirds me out. How would you like to be a starbucks and see some creepy guy staring at you only to get a text few minutes later to say your match John is in your area. He went from weird stranger guy to now knowing how to contact you.