(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)
According to a Yahoo Health article, “nearly 70 percent of men say they wish they received more regular compliments from their partner.”
In other words: do you want to endear yourself to a man? Compliment him.
The author of the article, David Zinczenko, said that men are told to compliment women but they often don’t get the same treatment in return. He goes on to list 10 compliments that guy would like to hear. I realize his statements can’t be applied across the board to all guys, but there were a few things I found interesting.
Typically, it doesn’t matter much to men if women like a part of their body that they don’t control, like their eyes, jawline, or body hair.
David says men don’t care about compliments such as “nice eyes” or “you’re so beautiful.” They would rather hear that their arms look bigger because it’s something they have control over. And don’t bother using the word “cute” unless you’re referring to a man’s feet. Apparently guys like to be told they have cute feet:
Tell a guy he has good feet, and somehow he takes it as a double-bagger compliment — that you not only like his genetics, but also that you appreciate he can keep himself better groomed than the rest of the gnarly-nailed heathens out there.
And the best compliment a woman can give a man? “I want you.”
Women don’t need to go on about a guy’s eyes or hair or clothes. What a guy really wants to hear is that he’s the total package, and this acknowledgement of that — whether it’s referring to bedroom behavior or relationship stability — is the ultimate compliment of them all.
These are Cranky’s rules to giving compliments:
1. If you are thinking something positive (and inoffensive) about somebody, go ahead and say it out loud. Let them figure out how to take it.
2. A compliment should be specific and verifiable. “You’re cute!” is useless. “Between your red hair and your freckles, you are just amazingly cute!” is much better.
3. Never, ever give a compliment you don’t mean. If they catch you being insincere your compliments will fall on deaf ears in the future.
4. Don’t dwell on the compliment. Move on, physically or conversationally. Don’t turn your words into an obvious come-on, or you’re being insincere.
10 Comments
Compliments can often be very strange too. Just today, I had a lady say to me, “You are a vindictive a–h–e.” Given the person that was stating this, the recent events, and my solution to these events, it was a sincere compliment. I simply said, “Thank you.” She smiled and business continued as normal.
I think this is totally true. My male friends like it when I tell them I love their tie or their new suit. But I say it only if I mean it.
Good article! We women don’t give men near the consideration they need or deserve.
I agree that men should be complimented. Women tend to forget that men are human beings first. And, most human beings, seek approval, acceptance and love. Men are really no different than men in this respect.
Most men are really shocked when you do compliment them. I guess we are socialized to believe that it’s not “masculine” for a man to receive compliments.
We all have self-esteem and self-worth and compliments help to make both stronger; be you female or male.
Maybe so, yet I remember one woman who for some reason admired my nose. I felt puffed up by it at the time, though she must have been strange since I never heard it again from anyone. My grandmother once admired me for my “broad shoulders”, but you can’t trust grandmothers too much. I’d be glad to be told I had cute feet, but the fact is, I don’t!
My best mate in the UK is a guy & he gets weirded out when a girl gives him a complement, he thinks she’s just trying to flirt/get in his pants, maybe that’s why we dont complement guys as much as we should – sorta makes us feel like we’re trying to “get something”
It’s funny… it seems to come more naturally to compliment females in general, whereas it’s almost always seemed to me that it feels like you’re putting yourself on the line more to pay a compliment to a guy. Perhaps that’s a double standard?
The best compliment a woman can give me would be, when in problem I can depend on you. seriously that helps…
Hey I forgot to thank you, as usual the blogs I find from your posts, are simply amazing.
Now as per cranky rules, let me make it a little varifiable. I loved reading “Cranky rules”, its not the first time I have added someone to my blogroll after reading about them in your posts.
What do men mean with compliments such as: u r pretty, sexy, etc…?
Is being told u r pretty a good thing or bad?