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(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)

Picture this: you’re out shopping with a female friend. You follow her into several expensive stores, where she makes a few on-the-spot purchases. She’s wearing designer clothes and carrying a bag with a well-known label. The thing is, you know where she works, and you know how much income she brings in — which isn’t much. She doesn’t have a rich boyfriend or come from a wealthy family. So why is it some people spend like they’re wealthy while living on an entry-level salary?

It all comes down to what we value. One person might be willing to eat ramen noodles every day so she can afford her Coach purses and Gucci boots. Someone else may forego name-brand clothes but prefer to buy all their food at high-quality gourmet and organic grocery stores (including $50 bottles of red wine).

Still, it’s hard not to get jealous if you’re counting your pennies but hanging out with someone who throws cash around indiscriminately. You might not care so much about the price difference in the clothes you wear, but what if your friends want to pay high entrance fees to get into the latest, most popular clubs? What if spending time with your friends means you’ll be walking around pricey department stores all day? What if a girls’ night out involves going to a fancy restaurant where everyone is expected to split the bill in equal parts, no matter what you had to eat?

If these women are good friends, they shouldn’t mind if you want to handle things differently. But sometimes it’s hard to set yourself apart, to identify yourself as different — the one who insists on paying strictly for her portion of the meal; the one who is known to furrow her brow, contemplating the price of the next outing, rather than agreeing on a whim.

I don’t have any close friends who fit this description, but I imagine if I did have friends who constantly wanted to spend big bucks on entertainment, it would be a lot harder to say no — or at least I’d feel worse about being left out.

Krystal wonders how her fellow single friends can afford to live such high lifestyles on entry-level wages.

What’s happening to my friends? Why don’t they want to do anything that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg? How are they affording to live the high lifestyle? I know for a fact that they’re earning entry-level wages … and it seems like now that they’re out of college and in the work force, they feel like this is what they should be doing — going out for fancy dinners, drinking over-priced cocktails, and generally living well beyond their means.

As someone who’s a freelancer, and doesn’t have steady income at the moment, I find this frustrating. Especially being single. I want to go out and be social and be with my friends, but I’m not about to drain my EF just to do it. Whatever happened to just going out for a tea, or taking a walk, or watching movies? Now all anyone ever talks about is the hottest new restaurant, extravagant New Years Eve plans, and cruises up the coast.

SF Renter found it hard to stick to her grocery budget when she went out for lunch on several occasions with co-workers.

This week has been extremely rough on my dining out budget of $50.

I brought my lunch this week and fully intended to eat the red lentils with carrots and bok choy I packed. Then my coworker who usually brings lunch asked if I’d eat out with her. I wasn’t sure if we’d have a chance to eat Wednesday assuming her boss would take her out. So another coworker joined us also. I ended up paying for all our lunches since my other coworker drops me off home after class. [...]

Ouch. My wallet feels so painful at the moment. I can’t even describe how eating out is killing my budget.

Sarcastic Journalist is committed to downsizing her family’s possessions, limiting TV consumption, and living simply, but sometimes it’s hard to be different.

I’ve been known for as long as I can remember to tell people that the grass isn’t always greener, that just because you have a McMansion doesn’t mean you have a great marriage or that your children are smarter or that you are a better person. [...]

Simple living can set you apart. People can see that beat up old car with the broken door handle that you have to rig every time you want to get in. They see you wearing clothes so far out of style that they’re coming back in. They would see your small house (well, if they’d ever come over when invited) and furniture that Smells Like Kid.

For the most part, I’m happy that we’re doing things this way. I like knowing that our cars are both paid for (!), that everything we buy we have had the money for. I like knowing that I’m trying to teach my children that things aren’t everything, that love and happiness are much more important than the newest gadget.

But, it is still hard.

Brazen Careerist has “Strategies for survival on an entry-level salary.”

Accept that it’s normal.
It’s OK if you can’t support yourself after college. Most people can’t. Not today. The people who can do it are often high and mighty, but ignore them. Because there is no evidence that supporting yourself right after college leads to a happier, productive life.

On the Huffington Post, Christine Hassler gives advice about how to keep up with friends who have money:

First, consider the question, if your friends were not making more money than you, would you be content with where you are? If the answer is no, this issue is not really about money — it may boil down to the fact that you don’t like what you are doing and it’s time to re-navigate your career path. If the answer is yes, then you are playing a comparison game you will never win. Comparing yourself to them is not only toxic to your friendship; it’s dangerous to your own mental well-being. There is always going to be someone richer, smarter, and better looking than any of us.

What would you do if you couldn’t keep up with your big-spender friends?