This is what a few strong, smart women think about Valentine’s Day:
1) Angela used the occasion to celebrate Singles Awareness Day.
Someone out there will probably point out that the acronym [for Singles Awareness Day] is SAD, and that this is depressing. [...]
But to the people who would bring up the aforementioned acronym as a way to discredit the holiday, I say BAH! After all, the Valentine’s Day shares an acronym with Venereal Disease. Being in a relationship might get you Valentine’s Day, but it could also get you a Venereal Disease, and you’ll be Single and celebrating SAD soon enough.
2) Stephanie broke up with her boyfriend last year, and talked about spending this Valentine’s Day as a single woman.
I’m not going to let the lack of a sweeheart steal my joy. What is the point of sitting around the house in sweats, eating bon bons by myself crying and living a sad country song in real life,
“woe-is-me-my-lover-dun-left-me-wit-nothin-but-a-brokenheart.” I’ve done that many times over my lifetime, and what did it get me? It got me a depressed day. Seriously, screw that! And frankly, with everything I’ve been through lately with loss, I’m not going to lose one happy day, actually this whole week, when I know I have the power to choose to be happy. I can choose to celebrate me and the abundant life I do have. I can choose to celebrate the people I do love and who love me, romantic or not. I can choose to focus showering my Valentine’s Day with love. So, that is what I’m going to [do].
3) Nic celebrated V-day early with a party at her aunt’s house. She loves celebrating the holiday as a single person, but she still has to deal with the questions.
I only had one episode of bitterness when I was taken off-guard by marriage announcements of two old friends and then asked three separate times in the following ten minutes if I: “have found love yet?” “have someone special?” “am going to be the next one married?” Then I was just annoyed that it’s not okay to simply be single. This was reinforced later in the evening when I watched a ridiculous amount of TV and noticed that the quantity of eharmony and match.com advertisements has gone up with the impending holiday and I was simply annoyed at the companies’ desire to prey on those disenfranchised [...] by a Hallmark holiday.
4) Kat has a boyfriend, but she feels the pain of single ladies who are almost “expected” to be sad.
Singles are just as confused about what to do with Valentine’s, with the added bonus of some sort of societal-approved sadness around it. So we think it’s hosting a single gal’s night, or treating ourselves to a spa day because we love ourselves and “who needs a man to validate us?” anyway, or making love to a pint of Ben & Jerry’s while getting teary-eyed watching back-to-back Audrey Hepburn movies. There’s no end to those advising us on what we should do to cope, survive, celebrate, be positive, focus priorities, treat ourselves, set romantic goals, ad nauseam.
Related reading:
Sister Skinny: This is what I call a good Valentine’s Day present!
Huffington Post: A Greener, Sweeter Valentine’s Day (”Second only to Christmas, Valentine’s Day is one of the most wasteful holidays of modern day America.”)
That’s Fit: Reclaim Your Healthy Sex Life This Valentine’s Day
MSNBC’s Fit List: Sexercise to Get Ready for Some Real Action
5 Comments
In the end, it’s just another day, right? I’ve never been a big fan–single or coupled up. It’s just too much pressure with no good reason…
I agree with Jen. It’s just another day. Cameron and I don’t celebrate it. A whole big waste of money when I tell and show my honey how much I love him every single day.
These are so great to read. I loved reading Stephanie’s experience, her day yesterday sounded SO amazing!
(and thanks for the mention
Yeah, my husband and I don’t really do anything special for V-day, either. Although we did discover that it’s a great night to go shopping because just about all of the parking lots and stores were empty. I guess no one really considers that a very romantic thing to do, but we found some good deals.:-)
Even though I’m married I can sympathize with the whole depression/single/Valentines day thing. For me New Years is like a sad, lonely Valentines. There’s always these big expectations. And I’ve found where there are expectations someone is bound to be disappointed. Like many I need to let go of my expectations and just have fun and enjoy.
I agree with Stephanie though. For me Valentines is about celebrating the people you love and care about whether it’s a romantic relationship or not. Sure some of us tell our loved ones how special they are on a every day basis but who doesn’t love a little special attention.
This year I gave my son’s teachers a small bouquet of flowers just to let them know how much we appreciate them. And I surprised my husband with a note & a few chocolate hearts on his car seat. He loved it. It was a small thing I did but it was an “out of the ordinary” gesture and that was what he appreciated and loved most. 