Comments on: Reclaiming “Spinster”

By: lfar

lfar — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 16:49:58 +0000

I use the word spinster… ironically. It’s dated… but mayhaps a reclamation might do it some good!

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 19:48:15 +0000

I’m just got married, but before I did, I don’t think I would have minded calling myself a spinster. It’s such an outdated stodgy term, that I think it’s funny to most people.

The kid issue is my current battle. I’m the last female of my 34 first cousins who has no children (my family usually has kids by 16–seriously!). There are often references to me being “child-less”. I like to respond that I’m “child-free”. I love kids and intend to have them, but I resent the labeling.

By: LJ

LJ — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 18:24:06 +0000

To me, “spinster” has such a negative connotation. I don’t see being single in ones 20’s… 30’s… etc. anymore is such a negative thing.

To me, spinsters are the stodgy old single ladies in those old fashioned stereotypically female professions. It’s hard to think of it as anything else for me. I totally don’t see the single professional women as falling under this title. Ick. I just don’t like it!

By: Another Chris

Another Chris — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 03:55:09 +0000

(I mean that in a bonding-with-my-single-sisters sort of way…why should we single men get the non-pejorative term ‘bachelor’, while women get called ’spinster’ in a way that is, I think, usually pejorative? Until they start calling single men ‘minsters’, I would be honored to be called spinster!! )

By: Another Chris

Another Chris — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 03:50:02 +0000

As a 40-something single male, I’d be fine with calling myself spinster!

By: Stephanie Quilao

Stephanie Quilao — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 23:41:00 +0000

The word “spinster” admittedly has not-so-positive emotional triggers for me as well as the word “crone” which is supposed to mean older wiser woman. I grew up in a family and culture where especially for women being married makes people “worry” or wonder less about you. It’s that validation thing (to them).

I love being single and I love being in a relationship. The thing for me is the quality of my time and doing things that bring me joy and growth, and that could involve a significant other or not. My life isn’t less or more if I have a man or not. I (personally) don’t feel a need to label this, but if someone came up with a more uplifting term I’d be open.

By: Accountant By Day

Accountant By Day — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 18:53:29 +0000

I talked with my coworker friend yesterday and she told me about an unmarried employee at her workplace who took a half day off recently. Another employee couldn’t understand why someone who wasn’t married would possibly need to take a half day. “What could [employee] be doing?” she apparently kept wondering. “No kids, no spouse…what?”

I think it’s also a common assumption that even married people who have no children must have nothing to do. After all, without kids, what else is there to life? I hope that if I have kids one day, I will never commit the sin of assuming that a childless coworker has more free time to put in extra work than me, simply because they don’t have children waiting at home.

By: Kathy

Kathy — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 18:26:04 +0000

I’m a 35-year-old single woman, and the word spinster never entered my mind. I’ve never felt any pressure to marry. I don’t know. I’ve been blessed with a pretty understandingl family. I have an 80-year-old great-aunt who definitely fits the spinster profile (cats and all), and she’s one of the coolest dames I know.