Monthly Archives: March 2008

Body Image: It Affects Everyone

31stMarch2008

(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)

I never thought about body image as a kid. This was probably because I lived in a rural area of central Virginia, and I was home-schooled for most of that time, and I was only allowed limited access to television — so it’s not like I had a lot of reasons to compare my body with others. Even though I recognized that some people I came into contact with had better bodies than others, there was never any thought of dieting, or feeling inferior, or trying to change the way I looked.

My issues with body image didn’t surface until I was in my early 20s. Would I have been affected by these thoughts at an earlier age if I hadn’t been so sheltered from popular culture as a child? I think there’s a good chance I might have been affected earlier, but it seems to be good proof that a person can be susceptible to this kind of negativity at any age, no matter how much someone tries to protect them from it.

I’m not quite as consumed with body image, at least on a negative, personal basis, as I used to be. Last summer I’d already gained over ten pounds from where my weight was at its lowest point — but that “lowest point” also happened to be five years ago. That’s a long time to be so consumed with keeping your weight inside a narrow, pre-defined numerical range. But that’s what so many of us do every day.

Last summer I decided I was going to focus my emphasis on getting stronger and healthier, and…what do you know? It actually worked. But even with all the mental progress I’ve made, I can’t fathom the thought that it’s possible to ever be completely free of NOT thinking about weight or the shape of my body; NOT feeling bothered if I’ve gained a few pounds that I’d rather not be there.

I think this is why, when I read an article or blog post that talks about body image, my eyes are drawn in and I usually have to read the entire thing before I stop. Even if I haven’t been in that person’s exact situation, I tend to find something in what they say that strikes a chord with me. That’s the thing about body image — for better or for worse, it’s pretty easy to relate to. (And sometimes just seeing an ultra-skinny woman can trigger the same reaction.)

For example, when Anne at Elastic Waist talked about feeling better about her body once a significant other offered the positive verbal support she needed — I could definitely relate to that. Your family and friends can tell you every day, all day, that you look good — but will we ever believe it? In a perfect world we would be comfortable with ourselves regardless of what other people thought, but sometimes it takes a hot-ass member of the opposite sex to convince us to get over our silly insecurities. Because, really — if someone else thinks we’re hot and irresistible, shouldn’t we?

Here’s what Anne had to say:

Trusting someone with your nakedness is one of the hardest things in the world to do. That kind of vulnerability goes all the way through, from your bare skin right down to your bones and your heart and your head. That kind of vulnerability can leave you dead, if you are not careful. You are naked, vulnerable, and you can do anything, with them. You can be yourself, completely bare, and that is power, and that is strength, and that is what you deserve.

It took me until I was 28 to experience that, and it was something that happened because I ended up in a good relationship, with a good man. And he made me feel beautiful, un-self-conscious, and ridiculously sexy.

At the time, I loved it. Now–I cannot stand the fact that it took someone else to love my body, before I was able to be comfortable with it. That boy is gone, and it was good while it lasted, but what happened afterward is that it was like it never happened. It was all dependent on him. My entire perception of myself came from the outside.

The thing about body image is, no matter how much weight you lose, there’s always going to be something you don’t like, or that you wish you could change. Thin girls think about their bodies just as much as people who are overweight. This is best illustrated by women who have lost a lot of weight — even reaching their so-called “goal weight” — but still struggle with what they see in the mirror. Carmen asks, How can a size 18/20 feel like a 2/4?

One of the really strange things [since my weight loss] is that when I weighed almost 80 pounds more, I thought that I looked pretty good. I held myself well, had good posture, and dressed well. I may not have had much self confidence, but I apparently possessed a LARGE pair of blinders. Looking at pictures of myself, I could see that I was heavier, but I certainly didn’t feel like a bigger person. [...]

When I go clothes shopping, I still reach for bigger sizes. I pester my husband incessantly – “Am I the same size as her? What about her? Surely not her?” He is patient with me and doesn’t mind, but I don’t think that he really understands how truly skewed my self perception is.

I wonder when it will catch up. I wonder if it ever will. I wonder if I will ever reach the point where I feel like a thin person. I mostly like my body. I would, if I were honest, like to be 10 pounds thinner and have boobs that stayed where they belong, and a bit less booty. I’m happy to be the size I am now, though, but I wonder if I’ll ever relax around the food in quite the same way. Not that it was healthy to be THAT relaxed, but I wonder if I’ll ever eat a brownie without feeling guilt.

Even though Erin knows she’s reached a healthy weight, she still struggles with negative body image and makes the point that thin women struggle just as much as heavier women.

It’s funny what a big realization “goal weight” can be when you’re standing in the mirror, looking at yourself in this body, finally weighing what The Man says you’re supposed be weighing, and you still think you look just hideous.

Actually, it wasn’t funny at all. It scared the ever-loving shit out of me. While I’m perfectly aware of the fact that 138 pounds on a woman who is 5’2 is certainly nothing to be concerned about – I’m at a perfectly healthy weight, obviously – what is disconcerting is that I’m at a healthy weight. What had happened to me that I’d actually stare at myself, as healthy and active and glowing as I’d ever been, and absolutely hate what I saw? [...]

Women who’ve never had an ounce of excess fat on their bodies feel as inferior as the women who are fat and if I hear one more fat woman belittle the body image struggle of the thin woman I will pop her one. It’s not doing anyone a bit of good.

Chelsea used to have an eating disorder. Even though she’s more accepting of her body as it is now, she admits that she sometimes struggles to maintain that balance.

All I want today is a doughnut. A big, sticky, sugary, flaky doughnut. [...]

And I’m so irate over it, that I cursed my salad for tasting like a fucking salad, instead of a cupcake. [...]

I used to have an eating disorder. [...]

The double zeros warped my mind so much that this desire to be thin that started off as vanity, ended up a mind battle that had nothing to do with ME but with my thinking. The constant calorie checking on my cell phone calculator, people calling you “crazy” and not understanding whatsoever the inner battle, the intense two a days at the gym, the popcorn and hot coffee as a meal started to burn my stomach, the thinking obsessively about what I COULD eat next….and then a day, or a week, or two would hit- and I’d feel so deprived I’d turn into a ravenous animal with absolutely no control of my desire to eat everything I saw. It was an out of body experience, a loss of control to intense I couldn’t even IMAGINE behaving in this way now. I was feeling lack, self destruction, the need for perfection, and the need for control. [...]

I’ve accepted the curves of my stomach, the roundness of my face, the strength and contour of my legs, the length and grace in my arms and that little extra I carry in my ass.

But there are days, when I’m still reminded of the mindfulness that I have had to acquire to maintain balance and a healthy lifestyle.

When Lisa at Workout Mommy hit a low point, she decided to turn her negative feelings into something more positive. (Great advice.)

I am in a funk and having a hard time finding my way out. It seems that my brain just cannot let go of the old version of me. The one that could run for miles and barely break a sweat. The person who used to wake up at 4:30 every morning and hit the gym for a serious workout, and then do it all over again that evening. The person who could fit into all of those old clothes hanging in my closet. I’ll call her “BK Lisa” (before kids Lisa). Sometimes I forget I am not that person anymore so when the reality hits, it hits hard. [...]

So in order to pull myself out of my funk, I am going to focus on turning my negative thoughts into positive ones:

Negative: I am too fat
Positive: I am very fit and at a healthy weight. The fact that I can run 7.5 miles at a time is a great accomplishment!

Negative: I am a slow runner
Positive: I am a runner and I love it. My son doesn’t care how fast I run, he just thinks it is amazing that mommy runs races!

Negative: I’ll never improve my running time
Positive: The more I run and train, the faster I am going to get.

Negative: I’ll never be the old me again.
Positive: I’ll never be the old me again because now I have two fantastic little boys who love me more than anything in this world.

Fitz, a contributor at That’s Fit, says she feels so comfortable with her body that she has “forgotten about it.” (Now wouldn’t that be nice?)

Throughout my fitness journey, which truly began when I started teaching group fitness classes at 15 years old….I have had many great and not-so-great moments with my body. [...] Along the way, I’ve learned to enjoy a variety of challenging exercises and balance my fitness. I also learned to appreciate and enjoy produce more than Cheetos. I got a grip on eating right and now I never fret at all over what I put in my mouth. I simply make great choices most of the time.

These habits were formed throughout both my professional education and through trial and error as a person. What I enjoy most about my super fit body is that I never think about it. It isn’t a care, isn’t a worry, and simply just isn’t an issue at all! I value it, but I almost NEVER think about it. I have so much more time to think about my work, my family and my friends. I’m almost always in great spirits, and it takes a major tragedy to get me down.

How’s your body image?

Related reading:

Jennifer Cohen at the Huffington Post: Scary Skinny Is For Those Still Living In The Past

Emme at the Huffington Post: I Smell A Rat
Don’t do business with companies that make you feel bad about yourself

MSNBC: Midlife eating disorders are on the rise

Hollywood’s Dirty Diet Secrets: How celebrities really manage to say so thin

New York Times: Some women avoid going to the doctor because they don’t want to be weighed in front of other people

By Zandria | Posted in BlogHer | Comments (4)

Body Image and Push-Ups

20thMarch2008

I saw this woman walking down the sidewalk the other day, and I felt like crying. Literally, I got a pain in my chest when I noticed that her arms — on display in a sleeveless shirt due to the warm weather — were so thin that if I’d circled the upper part of her arm with my thumb and index finger, I’m pretty sure they would have met. I wanted to cry because she was wearing a pair of tiny jeans, and the legs of the jeans were so baggy that it was impossible to see any definition of her actual legs in them.

I wanted to cry because, years ago, I could relate to at least some of the things she’s going through. I never took my disordered eating to the same extent this woman has, but I can relate to the feeling of being hungry. I can relate to looking at something and wanting it, but not eating it. I can relate to sticking fast to a set amount of calories and having my mind race if I had to choose something in a restaurant and I didn’t know how many calories it contained…it was so much easier to just eat at home.

I wanted to cry because, even though my arms were never quite that skinny, they were pretty darn skinny.

I wasn’t very happy during those years — and when I remembered that, it made me think that the woman I saw on the street couldn’t be very happy, either. It’s impossible to be happy and fully live your life if you’re so consumed with how you look and with every single thing you’re putting (or not putting) into your mouth.

I’m so glad I’m not at that place anymore, but now that I’m doing better I can’t help feeling that I should be able to do more. Like the whole inability to do “real” pushups thing. I’m close, and getting closer, but I still can’t do them.

And I kind of felt super-disappointed in myself the other day when someone I know was just sure I could do them by now (my strength has really progressed from where I used to be), but I just couldn’t. I tried, and I tried again.

The reason I was disappointed in myself was because I don’t want to be that weak girl anymore. I liked being able to carry large bins up the stairs when my roommate moved in a few months ago. And I like being able to say, “No, thanks, I’ve got it” when someone offers to take something heavy from me.

So yeah, my arms are no longer sticks, and I can see and feel my biceps when I flex, but I kinda wanted to cry when I couldn’t do those pushups because for just a few minutes — until I got over it — I felt like a failure.

You want to know something else that makes me want to cry…but in a good way? When I realize that failing — at least with this particular goal — doesn’t make me want to quit. It makes me even more determined to succeed.

By Zandria | Posted in Fitness | Comments (14)

Personal Trainers: The Good and the Bad

18thMarch2008

(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)

If I had the money, I’d hire a personal trainer. I’d want someone really badass — a person who’d get up in my face, push me, yell at me if I wasn’t working hard enough, and be available on my schedule. Basically, I want someone who’d kick my butt on a regular basis. I want to be a lean(er), mean(er), fighting machine.

It’s not that I’m looking for the motivation to go to the gym, because my three-times-a-week weight workouts are going to happen regardless. But I tend to do the same routines a lot, depending on which muscle group I’m working that day, so it would be helpful to have someone there who could lead me through different combinations. (Variety…it’s a wonderful thing.)

Or, if not for just variety and yelling-at-Zan purposes, having someone there to spot me so I can work my way up to lifting heavier weights would be really ideal. I tend to use heavier weights when I have someone there with me, because if I get halfway through a move and I’m stuck with a heavy bar above my chest, it’s nice to have someone there to take it from me so it doesn’t smash down on my ribcage. For this reason, if I’m at the gym by myself I tend to lift weights that I know I can handle.

I’m definitely doing better than when I first started, but if I had someone there with me on a regular basis I’m sure I could have progressed even faster — maybe I’d even be doing “real” pushups by now. (I am determined! I will do them!)

Given all this, you would think I’d jump at the chance to take advantage of the personal-training option at my gym (three free sessions when you first become a member, then one free session per month). However, as much as I like my gym, the trainers on staff are lackadaisical and completely UN-motivating. I’ve never actually had a session with one of the staff-trainers, but I’ve seen enough of them in action to know that I’d much rather work out by myself.

(Picture this: a woman does some ab exercises while her “trainer” stands by with arms folded, looking in the opposite direction. He speaks in a monotone. For the last half hour of their hour-long session? He tells her to get on the treadmill — which, of course, he won’t have to stick around for.)

The only trainers I’ve seen at the gym (the ones not dressed in the requisite bright teal staff t-shirts) who come across as attentive and motivating are the ones who aren’t employed by the gym. I’m guessing this is partly due to the fact that they’re getting paid more to be there. Either that, or they really like what they’re doing.

Even though I’ve seen plenty of unmotivating trainers, the ones who do know what they’re doing are truly inspiring and can go a long way in helping someone meet their fitness goals. I think the mark of a good trainer is someone who’s genuinely interested in your progress.

Kelly says that what she likes most about her job as a personal trainer is when she’s able to help people realize what they can do and what they’re capable of.

What I dearly love is seeing someone who couldn’t do a push up from their knees achieve ten perfect reps of from-the-feet push ups. Watching folks get a first pull up. Seeing people who spent most of their time barely moving become weekend bike riders and runners. Looking at a new person who wants to lose thirty pounds and recognizing the combo of coordination and posture and fire that will mean they’ll have a stellar clean-and-jerk. Watching shlumpy people become badasses. I have yet to meet someone who had no potential. [...]

I’m totally in this thing because I believe fitness is possible for everyone. Weight loss? I don’t really care, even though I’ll help you with that any day. But if you want to be in shape, that is yours. It’s right in front of you. Completely and utterly doable. And I don’t just mean healthy; I mean athletic. Generally I feel most fired up about getting women to see they can have upper body strength and they don’t have to ask for help moving shit or whatever, but I’m very equal opportunity. If you want it, it’s yours.

(In another post, Kelly shares how she designs her workouts to adapt to different fitness levels and goals.)

Fit Sugar has advice for people who are thinking about working with a staff-trainer at a gym: Pick Your Own. (I’ve yet to see a staff-trainer that I’d want to specifically request, but maybe I’ll pay more attention in the future.)

A lot of gyms will lure you in with a few free sessions with one of their personal trainers when you sign up for a membership. I am a big fan of taking advantage of this offer, but don’t let the gym pick your trainer. Instead, ask questions so you can learn a little bit about each of them and then pick the one that seems to suit you best. If you don’t, chances are your gym will just assign a trainer who is available (i.e. has a wide open calendar) to you that you may or may not like, and you probably won’t get the most out of your time with them. Better yet, if you can wait, check them out while you’re at the gym before you make your choice. You may see a trainer whose style you really like, or dislike, which could help you pick.

Workout Mommy is like me — she wants a badass trainer who will yell at her and push her to her limits. These were her thoughts after she watched the first episode of this season’s Biggest Loser.

My favorite line was Jillian saying “you can either puke, cry, or go home!”

Honestly, I would love for her to be my trainer. I’m one of those people that need that type of punishment/motivation. I need someone in my face telling me that I can push myself further. I don’t necessarily want to exercise until I am sick (although I have done that before) but I do want to be pushed to my absolute limit. And then I want to be pushed a little further!

So, Jillian Michaels, if you are reading this, will you please come and be my trainer?

If you’re thinking about hiring someone, Anne Keckler, a personal trainer in Tallahassee, has a number of posts to help you choose the right person. These include the benefits of hiring a personal trainer; what to look for; and follow-up questions to ask yourself after the first session.

If you currently have a personal trainer, do you think the money you spend is worth it? If you don’t have one, would you hire somebody if you could?

Related Reading:

Jen Lancaster has a hilarious video about working out with her personal trainer, Barbie.

City Wendy mused about the potential motives of a trainer at her gym who kept offering to train her for free.

Fit Sugar: Is having a HUGE personal trainer motivating or intimidating? (You’ve gotta check out this post just to see the photo of Gerri Halliwell with her trainer.)

MSNBC’s Fit List: How to choose a personal trainer.

That’s Fit: To save money, get some friends together and do personal training as a group.

By Zandria | Posted in BlogHer, Fitness | Comments (2)

This Is Your Life: Don’t Settle

17thMarch2008

(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)

I would say I’m very resistant to the word “settling.” As in, I hate the thought of it. Being on my deathbed and feeling like I had “settled” with my life is one of the worst things I can think of. My personal definition of settling: “I’m unhappy with the way things are, but I’m not going to try anything new. This is where I am, and this is how I’m going to remain for the foreseeable future.”

I think I’m so resistant to settling because I’ve seen other people who have done so, and not wanting this for myself has affected the choices I’ve made. (Now if only I could say I’d succeeded in everything I wanted to accomplish — that would be nice, wouldn’t it?)

Some people are of the mindset that your job exists solely to make money, and you should reserve your “play time” for the off-hours. And there’s a certain amount of truth to that, but it’s not the entire answer. Sure, not everyone will be able to do a job they truly love. But if you’re discontent with your workplace, you also have to think about how challenged you feel; if the job you’ve been doing is continuing to help you grow as a person.

This is why people — especially young people — tend to change jobs so much more often now than they used to. We’re testing out different things; discovering what we’re good at; what we do and don’t enjoy doing. I know I’ve had jobs in the past that I didn’t care for, but at least I can sit here and tell you WHY I didn’t like them. And when I look at job ads, I automatically know which titles I can skip over, which ones I wouldn’t want to do, because I’ve been there already.

But when I talk about settling, I’m not only talking about jobs. Settling can also mean staying with the same guy for years and years because it’s the easiest thing to do, or because you’re worried about striking out on your own. It can also mean not taking a class you’re interested in (whether it be belly dancing, painting, or an early-morning boot camp), because you don’t know if you’ll be good at it.

The subject of inspiration, or encouraging people to step out of their comfort zones and try something new, is often on my mind. If someone tells me they’re thinking about quitting their job to try something new, or there’s a possibility they might move to a new state, I’m always the first one to say, “Wow! That’s awesome. Good for you!”

I wish I were more fearless than I am. Being resistant to settling hasn’t made me an ultra-adventurous person. As much as we may like to, we can’t change the way we are. But I’m certainly different than I was ten years ago, and I suspect that ten years from now I’ll have accomplished a lot more than what I have up to this point.

So what have I learned so far?

I’ve learned that I need to be more proactive, or else the things I want to do in my life are likely not going to happen.

In other words, if I’m not the one to initiate changes in my life, I can’t rely on someone else to make things happen for me. If you want a different job, you’re not likely to find it if you don’t carve out time to read job ads and write cover letters. I know more people who are discontent with their current jobs than those who like what they do, but very few of those who are discontent are actively pursuing something new.

I need to stop thinking about doing things in the future, some day, and make actual plans.

For instance, I know this absolutely wonderful woman who was my best friend growing up. In the past ten years we’ve probably gone six months to a year at a time without talking to each other, but when I get on the phone with her it’s like I just talked to her yesterday. She moved to Tampa almost two years ago, and I’ve been meaning to visit her ever since (a year ago I even made it #50 on my 101 Things list). She ended up calling me out of the blue the other night, and after I got off the phone I just knew. I knew that I have to make the time to see her.

The ball is really in my court on this one. She has a two-year-old daughter, so it’s harder for her to travel. It’s more difficult for her to take time off work. I have plenty of vacation time saved up. I live just two metro stops from National Airport, so I can get there in about 7 minutes. Flights from DC to Tampa aren’t expensive, and I can stay with her once I get there — so I won’t have to pay for a hotel or rental car. I’ve never been to Tampa, and it’s still early enough in the year that it won’t be all nasty-hot like it’ll be in a few more months. With all those factors in my favor, there’s no excuse for me to keep putting off something I’ve been meaning to do for so long. The time is now.

I need to stop being scared of trying something new because I think I might not be any good at it.

I haven’t taken a class outside of school or work since I was much younger than I am now. Dancing, kickboxing, swimming? Nuh-uh. Have I thought it might be interesting to try something new? Certainly.

Yes, I was worried that whatever class I might decide to take, I might not like it, or wouldn’t be good at it. Fact: I’m no longer in school. If I start taking a class and I hate it, there’s nothing stopping me from dropping out (other than the fact I’ve paid for it). Fact: Nobody really cares how good/bad I am at something, other than me, so I really need to stop worrying so much. Also, just like previous jobs I’ve had that I hated — but where I was able to learn what I don’t want to do in the future — I suspect taking a new class would work the same way. If I don’t like something, at least I’ll be able to say why I didn’t like it. And who knows? Maybe I’ll have the opposite experience instead, and pursuing a new skill will change my life in a way I never previously imagined.

Every time I’ve done something I hadn’t tried before, even if I never did it a second time, I’ve never regretted making that first attempt — and I need to keep reminding myself of that. This is my life. This is my chance.

Bunny wrote about certain decisions she’s made in her life, and how everything we do — from something spontaneous to things that take months to plan — can end up having a huge impact on our lives.

One can decide to take a cab instead of the subway and get in a life-ending accident. The subway choice could have yielded meeting a future husband. Or vice versa. Moving across the country, staying put, ordering chicken vs. steak, playing safe, complimenting his eyes, taking a risk, making a phone call — or not picking up the phone — every single little moment of our lives is a decision. [...]

I stand by that every decision is a risk. And that’s life. There’s nothing you can do about it. But if you don’t try, you’ll never know. My dad likes to say, “Expect the best but prepare for the worst.” I think I finally get what he means.

Daylle (writing at Lessons From a Recovering Doormat) wrote about taking risks and the rewards of doing so.

You MUST take risks if you want to be happier. You MUST take risks if you want to be really successful. You MUST take risks if you want to live to the fullest extent of life. You MUST take risks if you want to build confidence in yourself.

Lirone says she’s taking a risk by writing her innermost thoughts for strangers on her blog, which is true. Some people are friendly and accepting, others aren’t. But if it’s the right thing to do, you’ll know it.

I know I can survive rejection and deeply personal criticism by someone to whom I was completely honest, open and vulnerable. So why should I be afraid that a stranger’s words can hurt me?

And so writing this blog, and sharing my thoughts with the world, is a statement of my confidence in myself and in what I have to say. I’m not unaware of the risks, but I am choosing to go ahead regardless.

Some risks are life-affirming. I think this is one of them.

What have you done, or what are you planning to do, to make sure you don’t settle?

By Zandria | Posted in BlogHer | Comments (10)

Having a Roommate: Advantages and Disadvantages

10thMarch2008

(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)

I’ve never had a roommate from hell.

The closest I came to having a hellish roommate was during my freshman year of college, when I lived with my best friend and her boyfriend. This other girl moved in with us for a few months…and she and I didn’t get along very well. Other than that, I’ve been very lucky.

I lived with my older sister for about five years, and then my younger sister and I had a place together for a while. The thing about living with my sisters is that we already knew in advance how to coexist. We definitely got annoyed with each other from time to time, but we also knew the best way to get over it — avoid the other person until we cooled off.

Even though I love my sisters, I was looking forward to living by myself when I moved to northern Virginia in the fall of 2006 (oh, my God, I’ve been here for a year and a half…). But even though I enjoyed the advantages of living alone (complete privacy, the ability to decorate however I wanted), there were disadvantages as well.

For one thing, the apartment I’d moved into was…well…not in the most desirable area (this is one of the biggest things you have to contend with when you’re dealing with a single salary). And the bills? All mine. But another thing was just trying to get motivated — to go out and meet new people in an unfamiliar city — when I was working a late schedule. Without anyone there to spur me on, I was finding it easier and easier to spend time by myself.

I’ve done a lot better about getting out in the past year, and one of the things that helped me (in addition to slowly meeting more people) is that a few months ago I gained a new roommate. Right around the time the lease on my first apartment was up, a girl I’d worked with at the first job I had when I moved to Alexandria asked if I’d consider moving in with her (we’d stayed in touch and continued to hang out after we left to take different jobs last summer).

Now? I still live in Alexandria, but in a much nicer neighborhood. Since we’re in a two-bedroom place, I’m actually paying less than I was when I was living by myself. There are no more excuses to sit at home alone (we went to a modern dance performance at the Kennedy Center a few weeks ago, and that’s solely because she found out about it and suggested it). We go out on the town together. We only have one bathroom, but she gets up earlier than I do during the week and is already showered and out of the way before my alarm goes of. It’s working out quite nicely. And it’s nice having someone to talk to.

(Two Additional Reasons Why My Roommate is Awesome: 1) As I was running out the door one night, I accidentally spilled bright red wax on the beige carpet. She got back before I did and cleaned it all up before I got home. 2) We both drink soy milk, so if I run out before I’m able to get to the store, I can always take some of hers.)

Dr. Beth’s roommate left last year, and she recently wrote a list of 24 things she misses about her. Here’s a sampling:

1. Her wicked sense of humour
3. Our 8 p.m. cookie bakes
4. Impromptu parties where we invite random people over for dinner
9. The way she makes you homemade cards, just because.
21. The time she was petting my hair in her sleep
22. Our rule about the hooker shoes and the housecoat
23. Late night trips to Shoppers Drug Mart in our PJs!

Katrina recalls her worst roommate.

My worst roommate made rice every day for dinner. Oh, but how did she make rice? She put rice and water in a saucepan, and put it on the highest setting. When the water boiled over, coating the burner with a starchy, slimy mess, she turned down the heat until the mess was baked onto the burner and the rice was cooked. After eating, she rinsed her dishes and the saucepan in cold water (no soap), and put them in the cupboard. And that was the ONLY cleaning she ever did. EVER.

Ask me if she ever (even once) cleaned the burned-on rice scum. Go ahead, ask!

Stephanie wrote a letter to her roommate on her blog, detailing the things she doesn’t like.

Dear Roommate,

I do not like it when you:

1. Make soup that smells like garbage/urine.
2. Proceed to slurp said soup for forty minutes while I am sitting next to you on the couch.
3. Burst into the apartment at 9:01, scream “Heroes is on! Are you watching this?!” and grab the remote to change the channel. [I WAS watching I Love New York 2].
4. Yelp, bounce on the couch and literally run around the apartment during Heroes because you just can’t take the suspense [I use the term "suspense" loosely because I think that show is corny and seriously SUCKS].

Have you ever had a roommate from hell? Or one that you really adored?

By Zandria | Posted in BlogHer | Comments (15)