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(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)

If I had the money, I’d hire a personal trainer. I’d want someone really badass — a person who’d get up in my face, push me, yell at me if I wasn’t working hard enough, and be available on my schedule. Basically, I want someone who’d kick my butt on a regular basis. I want to be a lean(er), mean(er), fighting machine.

It’s not that I’m looking for the motivation to go to the gym, because my three-times-a-week weight workouts are going to happen regardless. But I tend to do the same routines a lot, depending on which muscle group I’m working that day, so it would be helpful to have someone there who could lead me through different combinations. (Variety…it’s a wonderful thing.)

Or, if not for just variety and yelling-at-Zan purposes, having someone there to spot me so I can work my way up to lifting heavier weights would be really ideal. I tend to use heavier weights when I have someone there with me, because if I get halfway through a move and I’m stuck with a heavy bar above my chest, it’s nice to have someone there to take it from me so it doesn’t smash down on my ribcage. For this reason, if I’m at the gym by myself I tend to lift weights that I know I can handle.

I’m definitely doing better than when I first started, but if I had someone there with me on a regular basis I’m sure I could have progressed even faster — maybe I’d even be doing “real” pushups by now. (I am determined! I will do them!)

Given all this, you would think I’d jump at the chance to take advantage of the personal-training option at my gym (three free sessions when you first become a member, then one free session per month). However, as much as I like my gym, the trainers on staff are lackadaisical and completely UN-motivating. I’ve never actually had a session with one of the staff-trainers, but I’ve seen enough of them in action to know that I’d much rather work out by myself.

(Picture this: a woman does some ab exercises while her “trainer” stands by with arms folded, looking in the opposite direction. He speaks in a monotone. For the last half hour of their hour-long session? He tells her to get on the treadmill — which, of course, he won’t have to stick around for.)

The only trainers I’ve seen at the gym (the ones not dressed in the requisite bright teal staff t-shirts) who come across as attentive and motivating are the ones who aren’t employed by the gym. I’m guessing this is partly due to the fact that they’re getting paid more to be there. Either that, or they really like what they’re doing.

Even though I’ve seen plenty of unmotivating trainers, the ones who do know what they’re doing are truly inspiring and can go a long way in helping someone meet their fitness goals. I think the mark of a good trainer is someone who’s genuinely interested in your progress.

Kelly says that what she likes most about her job as a personal trainer is when she’s able to help people realize what they can do and what they’re capable of.

What I dearly love is seeing someone who couldn’t do a push up from their knees achieve ten perfect reps of from-the-feet push ups. Watching folks get a first pull up. Seeing people who spent most of their time barely moving become weekend bike riders and runners. Looking at a new person who wants to lose thirty pounds and recognizing the combo of coordination and posture and fire that will mean they’ll have a stellar clean-and-jerk. Watching shlumpy people become badasses. I have yet to meet someone who had no potential. [...]

I’m totally in this thing because I believe fitness is possible for everyone. Weight loss? I don’t really care, even though I’ll help you with that any day. But if you want to be in shape, that is yours. It’s right in front of you. Completely and utterly doable. And I don’t just mean healthy; I mean athletic. Generally I feel most fired up about getting women to see they can have upper body strength and they don’t have to ask for help moving shit or whatever, but I’m very equal opportunity. If you want it, it’s yours.

(In another post, Kelly shares how she designs her workouts to adapt to different fitness levels and goals.)

Fit Sugar has advice for people who are thinking about working with a staff-trainer at a gym: Pick Your Own. (I’ve yet to see a staff-trainer that I’d want to specifically request, but maybe I’ll pay more attention in the future.)

A lot of gyms will lure you in with a few free sessions with one of their personal trainers when you sign up for a membership. I am a big fan of taking advantage of this offer, but don’t let the gym pick your trainer. Instead, ask questions so you can learn a little bit about each of them and then pick the one that seems to suit you best. If you don’t, chances are your gym will just assign a trainer who is available (i.e. has a wide open calendar) to you that you may or may not like, and you probably won’t get the most out of your time with them. Better yet, if you can wait, check them out while you’re at the gym before you make your choice. You may see a trainer whose style you really like, or dislike, which could help you pick.

Workout Mommy is like me — she wants a badass trainer who will yell at her and push her to her limits. These were her thoughts after she watched the first episode of this season’s Biggest Loser.

My favorite line was Jillian saying “you can either puke, cry, or go home!”

Honestly, I would love for her to be my trainer. I’m one of those people that need that type of punishment/motivation. I need someone in my face telling me that I can push myself further. I don’t necessarily want to exercise until I am sick (although I have done that before) but I do want to be pushed to my absolute limit. And then I want to be pushed a little further!

So, Jillian Michaels, if you are reading this, will you please come and be my trainer?

If you’re thinking about hiring someone, Anne Keckler, a personal trainer in Tallahassee, has a number of posts to help you choose the right person. These include the benefits of hiring a personal trainer; what to look for; and follow-up questions to ask yourself after the first session.

If you currently have a personal trainer, do you think the money you spend is worth it? If you don’t have one, would you hire somebody if you could?

Related Reading:

Jen Lancaster has a hilarious video about working out with her personal trainer, Barbie.

City Wendy mused about the potential motives of a trainer at her gym who kept offering to train her for free.

Fit Sugar: Is having a HUGE personal trainer motivating or intimidating? (You’ve gotta check out this post just to see the photo of Gerri Halliwell with her trainer.)

MSNBC’s Fit List: How to choose a personal trainer.

That’s Fit: To save money, get some friends together and do personal training as a group.