(This is a modified version of what I posted yesterday at BlogHer.)
If I told you the past few days of my life have been crazy, that would be putting it mildly. It’s been more like this insanely emotional rollercoaster ride that I’m so glad to have finally escaped from.
When I started writing this post on Saturday, I’d gotten up to something, like, fifteen paragraphs. It was insane. There were too many details. After keeping quiet about this aspect of my life for so long, I think my little typing fingers were going “whhhheeeeeeee!” with the gleeful freedom of it.
But I woke up Sunday morning and I was over it. I’m not entirely free of all the thoughts and memories of everything that’s happened – that will take a bit longer – but I’m free of the need to talk about it. I got all the talking out of my system this weekend (thank goodness for friends).
You know something else this whole experience has made me think about? The fact that even though I don’t blog anonymously (I’ve used my real name on my blog from the beginning; I use the real names of my family members and the city where I live; I post photos), we are all still anonymous. We have control over the amount of information and personal details we disclose. If you’ve visited my blog in the past x-number of months, you might have heard references to me doing such-and-such with “a friend.” But would you have known who that friend was? Or that the “friend” in question was usually the same person (because everyone else was identified by their real name)? Of course you wouldn’t have known.
I still haven’t come to terms with certain things, like how someone could attempt to justify hurting not just one, but two women. There’s absolutely no excuse for it, and whenever I think about it, it makes me sick all over again.
But you know what? I’m doing fine, and my life is moving on just fine, too. I’m sure I’ll be involved in something else very soon (maybe even WITH someone else), and then this whole experience will be completely in my past. It will only be a memory; and even though I’m sure something will happen occasionally to remind me of this time in my life, those memories will only be fleeting and I’ll be glad that I lived and learned.
Everything happens for a reason.
10 Comments
You are right, this experience while unfortunate will be a great learning experience. Hang in there!
I think the worst part about being cheated on is that it kind of challenges your world view–or at least it did for me. I went from thinking people were basically good to questioning the motives of everyone I encountered. It took me years to leave all that bitterness behind. You’re a very strong person, and I have no doubt that this will soon be nothing but a memory.
so true on the world view, Jen.
ive been there…
I agree with Jen. It also took me years to learn to trust my own judgment again, especially when it came to guys. But you are right – eventually it will be just a memory, and you will look back on it all as a learning experience. Glad you have friends around to support you!
So sorry to read this!
I agree with the other comments: from what I read on the blog you are a very strong woman. Flexible and smart enough to learn from the bad stuff and move on.
Time heals a lot and so does a great circle of friends!
Gorgeous tattoo by the way! And killer abs indeed. Reminds to drop by the gym again…
Times like this totally SUCK! You really do appear to be a very strong, intelligent woman!! Getting through this is something you’ll be able to look back on and be proud of yourself that you did make it through. Plus, having the insight you gain from these types of experiences is so empowering.
You so remind me of me (I think that’s why I read your blog). I got a tattoo the day after making one of the hardest decision of my life. It reminds me of how strong I had to be to make that choice and to not lose focus on what I want out of life.
Too long..sorry
Everything DOES happen for a reason. I am glad for all the things in my life that I have emotionally struggled with because they have taught me valuable lessons. They have made me who I am. I’m happy with that person. If I hadn’t had things happen to me like they did who knows where I would be or how happy I would be.
Try to focus on the benefits and how strong you feel now. Soon you will want to go out and try again
I’ve never dealt with this issue but I have dealt with equally bad “relationship issues” – my take on all this:
1. Be happy you learned about this person’s true nature as soon as you did.
2. Be happy it’s not your conscience that has to live with this nastiness.
3. Know that eventually this feeling will fade and probably feel like something that happened to someone else.
I am glad you are ok girlie. You will get over it and it feels good to blog about that stuff.
I’m late to the game on this one. I hope you are doing better and glad to hear you are moving on. Some people just really SUCK….but I’m a firm believer in karma.