Monthly Archives: May 2008

I Run, But Does That Mean I’m a Runner?

28thMay2008

(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)

How many days/weeks/months do you have to run before you feel comfortable saying, “I am a runner?” I started running this past January. It wasn’t a New Year’s resolution or anything — it was simply something I’d been planning to start for a while (I had, in fact, been talking about it for months), and I’d recently moved to an area where I felt comfortable running outside.

January may not seem like an optimal time of year to begin running outdoors, but the weather was still fairly pleasant in northern Virginia at the time. A few weeks later when it started getting colder, I acquired a pair of running gloves and a stretchy head wrap that covered my ears and kept the wind from rushing in. That, however, has been the extent of any running-specific accessories I’ve bought. No stopwatch; no fancy heart-rate monitor; no special clothes to wick the sweat away from my body. (I already had a pair of running shoes that I got last year…which reminds me, I really need to get a new pair.)

Even though I run, I still hesitate to call myself a runner. I don’t feel like I’ve done enough to deserve that title. I run on sidewalks, and I’m still glad for that 5-10 second break I get sometimes when I have to pause at a stoplight. I’ve never run in a race. (In fact, my older sister started running regularly not long after I did, and she’s already signed up for a 6k that’s taking place next month.)

I don’t have anything against running in a formal setting. I guess I’m just not one of those people who care about their time, like, “I can run a mile in 7 minutes” (or whatever a really good running time might be). I think I’ll probably end up participating in some kind of running event at some point. But I’m not in any rush.

The thing is, right now I run because I enjoy it. The reason I’m not formally training, or striving to increase my time or distance, is because I’m having fun. I really don’t have a desire to go outside for long periods of time and run for miles and miles in preparation for a marathon. I want to keep enjoying this activity for as long as I can, so if that means I go running a few days after work for 45 minutes to clear my head, and sometimes on the weekends, and sometimes just whenever, then that’s what I’ll continue to do.

I’ve noticed progress, of course. I can run for longer distances now without stopping than I used to be able to. I saw that I was making it home in a shorter period of time, so I extended my running route to include circling around a park. Sometimes I’ll even go outside with the sole intention of taking a walk, but suddenly I’ll feel like I’m going too slow and I’ll start running instead. I like when that happens.

I’m not the only one who questions how much they have to run, or how dedicated they have to be, to think of themselves as a runner. I think many people would agree that if you only run a mile every month or so, you might not be qualified to say, “I’m a runner.” But what if you never run on a consistent basis, but you have the stamina to go for, say, 10 miles without stopping? Are you a runner then? Or are you just someone who has the ability to run?

Comrade GoGo asks herself these questions, too.

In 2001, I ran 26.2 miles in Chicago at about a 12-mile-per-hour pace. I had trained six long months in New York City for that day in early October.

And still, if you had asked me, I would not have called myself a runner. [...]

I was a runner but I never gave myself credit for any of it. It wasn’t just physical hard work; it was also a major mental and social challenge. [...]

What does it take to be a runner? Well, you have to run, and you have to keep at it. There’s no speed qualifier for that.

Christie says, “Once a runner, always a runner.”

I am a runner even though I’ve only run once in 4 weeks and only a handful of times this entire year. The reason I still consider myself a runner is because ten thousand times per day I think about running. Well, I don’t necessarily think about the actual act of running but I constantly tell myself how idiotic it is of me to not be running. If I added up the hours that I mentally beat myself up for not running, and spent that time actually moving my legs I would of completed at least a few marathons by now.

I think Christie would agree with this quote that I found on Jennward:

“I am a runner because I run. Not because I run fast. Not because I run far. I am a runner because I say I am. And no one can tell me I’m not.” — John Bingham

Bricklyrknitter says, “It took awhile before I called myself a runner, as opposed to someone who runs, and yes I think there is a difference.” She goes on to list some of her reasons for running. One example:

To clear my mind: If you run, bike, swim, or do any kind of exercise, you know what I mean. After a crazy day I’ll come home and look at my wonderful fiance and say “can’t talk, I’m going for a run”. I don’t think he gets it, but he knows to just let me go. And when I come back and those endorphins are kicking, I am like a whole different, happier, person.

(I can identify with the whole clearing-of-the-head thing. That’s why I like to go outside and run pretty soon after I get home from work in the evenings. It’s a great way to clear my mind before I go on to anything else.)

I really liked what Katie had to say about the titles we give ourselves.

I asked my Mom what she had been doing all morning while Dad and I were running. She said, with a smile on her face, “Well, I planted some trees… I’m an arborist. And I baked some bread… I’m a baker…” And Dad and I, because we had been running all morning, we were athletes. After delegating new titles for ourselves for the things we had accomplished that morning, we summarized by saying, “We are amazing.” [...]

I recalled this conversation this morning while at the doctor’s office…After taking my pulse, the nurse asked me, “Are you a runner?” I said “Yes” without hesitation. The nurse said she could tell because my pulse was so low (64)…it had been 82 when I had last visited the doctor in February. Apparently a low pulse is a good thing. It wasn’t until after she left the room that I took a moment to think about her question… Am I a runner? Why yes, as a matter of fact I am… I am a runner… huh… who knew.

Amber’s colleague called her an athlete, but she says it’s still hard for her to think of herself that way.

So at what point does one become an athlete? (Substitute your own term here: runner, swimmer, cyclist, triathlete.) I’ve often heard the argument that the difference between a runner and a jogger is a race entry form. If so, then I’m a runner. And I have, in a way, started thinking of myself as a runner. If the intent is to compete, then that is a recent development, because until 2008, I was not competitive, even in my age group. [...] So I guess if racing with intent to compete makes me a runner, then I am a runner. If the measurement is based on obsession, than I surely am an athlete.

So why don’t I think of myself as an athlete?

Merry Mishaps calls herself a “reluctant marathoner” (as in, she used to be reluctant about running, but now she loves it).

Will I run another marathon?

Maybe.

Sometimes I want to. Other times I remember the pain and all of the weekends we lost to long training runs.

Was it worth it?

Absolutely.

Does anyone else ever wonder if they’re a “real” runner (or swimmer, biker, skiier, mountain climber…)?

By Zandria | Posted in BlogHer, Fitness | Comments (19)

I’m Tired of Hiding

25thMay2008

(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)

I’ve done my fair share of hiding, and I think I’m pretty good at it. At least I used to be. Spending time alone isn’t something I enjoy nearly as much as I used to. Don’t get me wrong — I don’t mind having some solitude once in a while, but I used to spend a lot more time by myself than I do now.

A long-time reader of my blog left a comment on the Letter to My Body post I wrote last Thursday, and that’s where all these thoughts about hiding are coming from. Acknowledging that he’s never met or seen me in person, he said he was still “amazed” that he’d never known I’d had body-image issues, and reading my post made him question whether other people he knows might have gone through the same thing without ever saying anything. (To that, I say: yes, it’s very likely.) Then he posed this question:

[W]ould you think from your posts over the years — before you started working out, and started feeling more self-confident about your body…and before you started openly posting about body image…would you think a reader of your site over the years should have known you had these issues, or do you think you hid it from us, succesfully, since you began to blog? I wonder if you posted oblique references to your concerns (whether consciously or subconsciously), that maybe I, or others, just missed — or that perhaps we should have noted, and asked you about?

The answer is: no, I don’t think it was something that anyone reading my blog would have noticed. The people I knew in person could tell by the way I looked, and by what I ate, and by what my attitude was like, that I wasn’t my old self. But I don’t recall ever making any hints on my blog that I wanted my readers to pick up on. If anything, I was trying to hide my problems not only from the blog world, but also from the people I knew. And the way I did that was by avoiding people.

This is hard for me to talk about (but when the question was asked, I knew it was time to answer). It’s easier now because I feel like I’ve moved on from that time in my life. See, I’ve mentioned before that I was single for many years, and it was my choice to be that way. And it was. But part of the reason for that — the reason I didn’t put myself “out there” to have the type of encounters that would result in meeting eligible men — was because it was easier to be alone.

When you’re alone, you don’t have to worry about questions. You can eat as much or as little as you want. You can subsist on steamed vegetables and microwave popcorn without being asked such annoying questions as, “Don’t you want to vary your diet a bit?” (Answer: no. I know exactly how many calories are in this food. It’s safe. Stop bothering me.) My diet is more varied today than it used to be, but I’ve been honest about the fact that I still find it easier to eat a lot of the same foods all the time, rather than trying something new. Sometimes I’ll go for weeks without ever eating popcorn, but yesterday I had two bags — one bag early in the afternoon, and then another around dinner time. Old habits die hard.

So if I was doing my best to hide from in-person encounters, there was no way I was going to reach out on my blog. I was in college at the time; I talked about that. I went to Amsterdam; I talked about that. But did I ever mention that I hardly ever ate out at restaurants when I lived in Amsterdam for five months? No, I didn’t mention that. So I’m telling you guys now. I bought food mostly from grocery stores, and I tried my best to figure out the calories in what I was eating. (It was more difficult with European food, since the way they display nutritional information is different from the way we do it — instead of calories being listed “per serving,” they’re listed “per 100 grams.”)

It’s easy to hide behind a blog. Even if you disclose certain things, you’re never telling everything about yourself. I’m being more honest right now about things that were going on years ago, but how would you know if I’m leaving out something that’s going on in my life — or in my head — right now? You wouldn’t know.

We hide all kinds of things. Some people binge and purge, and you would never know it by looking at them. Some people hide the fact that they’re cheating on their significant other. Some people lie about their real age, or how much they weigh. Some people have negative thoughts about others that aren’t politically correct, so they keep them inside.

I don’t hide nearly as much as I used to, and that’s because I’ve made strides to separate myself from body image issues. I’ve discovered how much fun it is to make an effort to get out and interact with people. I take the initiative to contact my friends and ask them to do things; if my roommate and I are both in town over a weekend we know we’re going to get out at least one night and get ourselves into some kind of trouble (just a figure of speech, of course).

My friend Jen, at Semi-Charmed Wife, wrote a post a few weeks ago that I identified with in a big way.

I have a long history of disordered eating, so I tend to use food as a soothing mechanism. I also get very panicky about food…It’s kind of embarassing to talk about, but what the hell. Recovering anorexics and bulimics tend to be very controlled in their eating. If someone asks me for a bite of my food, I get so anxious and upset. What if there isn’t enough??? What if they take more than I want them to?? How will I know exactly how much I’ve had if they eat some of my premeasured portion???? Needless to say, it can be difficult to explain to others.

I still do this, too. I’m a lot better than I used to be, but this is just another example of how certain habits never completely leave you (or if they do, it’s going to take a lot longer than just a few years). I know how many calories I’ve eaten in a day, so if I’ve prepared my 200-calorie snack and someone else starts picking at it? Like Jen asked, “How will I know exactly how much I’ve had if they eat some of my premeasured portion?” It’s not right, but the thoughts are there.

G.G. is trying to lose weight. Instead of hiding, she decided she’d post photos online.

Getting my picture taken in June last year was an important first step in making changes. Those pictures sat in my camera a good two weeks before I could bring myself to look at them, because I knew they were going to be bad. [...]

I had posted one of these pictures, but not the others. [...]

Posting pictures, even really bad ones, is also helping me be less self-conscious about my physical self, and about my past.

Heather decided to share five things on her blog that she’s normally “pretty good at hiding.”

Is there anyone else who identifies with what I went through?

By Zandria | Posted in BlogHer | Comments (13)

Letter to My Body: I Will Always Understand

22ndMay2008

(Every two weeks since February, BlogHer has been featuring a series of posts called “Letter to My Body.” Today was my day.)

I’ve never hated my body. Even when I wasn’t eating enough to maintain a healthy body weight, I never looked in the mirror and thought, “Ick. You enormous heifer, what’s wrong with you?” When I weighed 20 pounds less than I do today, instead of feeling hatred, it was more like I was disassociated from my body.

Disassociated is really the perfect word to describe how I felt. When I looked at myself naked in the mirror, I didn’t feel like the body reflected back at me was really mine. It was separate from who I felt like I really was, even though it was taking so much effort to maintain that weight.

Instead of feeling hate for my body when I was going through my too-skinny phase, for me it was more like I didn’t want to feel like a failure. (Failing in what? Not being able to maintain my willpower? I don’t really know, but there was definitely an aspect of not-wanting-to-fail involved. I felt like if I gained any weight back once it had been lost, people would look at me and say, “See? I knew she couldn’t do it.”)

It was stupid to think that way. Nobody would have cared if I gained five or ten pounds, except for me. In fact, they probably would have applauded me for it.

The funny thing was, at the same time I was restricting my food intake, I hated the thought that other people might be going through the same thing I was. I didn’t like knowing that other people were feeling hungry because they were scared of gaining weight, even though that was exactly what I was doing.

When I weighed 20 pounds less (if you’d like to see visuals, I usually reference the photos at the bottom of this post), I was hungry, morose, and always without energy. I even tried taking Paxil, an anti-depressant, for about six months — but one of the side effects of that medication was lethargy, so it just made me feel worse instead of better. The funny part? While I was taking Paxil, the rational part of my brain kept saying, “If you would just eat more, and stop obsessing so much about the numbers on the scale, you’d be okay.”

But at the time, I wasn’t ready to give up my unhealthy practices. It took years — a very gradual process — for me to get out of that mindset and back to a healthy weight. Even after I gained 15 pounds and people stopped saying how worried they were about me, and stopped asking me if I was sick, I still hadn’t completely gotten past it. I’ve made noticeable progress in the past year though, and I’ve already written about that in the post about how fitness changed my life.

So, yes, I’m better. I feel better, and I look better. I’m stronger, both physically and mentally (I even got a tattoo last month to reflect that). Instead of people telling me how skinny I look, the feedback I get now is, “You look HEALTHY.” (Those are the comments I received when I posted some photos of myself that were taken last weekend.)

But even though I’m “better,” I honestly don’t believe that someone can go through body issues for as long as I did and ever say that they’re completely cured. Don’t get me wrong — I never want to be that skinny again. I’ve moved on from that mental place. I gave away the clothes I used to be able to wear; the ones that no longer fit me due to The Gaining of a Boo-tay. (And I actually think it’s fun to say that. The reason I have a boo-tay now is because I do weighted squats, and leg presses and such. This gainage was on purpose, so I’m completely fine with it.) But those insecure feelings I used to have so often? They will always have a place inside of me, because I will always understand.

I understand what it’s like to weigh yourself every day, even long after you’ve stopped doing so. And I understand what it’s like to count calories. Even though I don’t beat myself up (at least as much as I used to) on days when I eat more than I think I should have, I can’t fathom not keeping a running count in my head of how many calories I’ve consumed in a day. I do it automatically.

I understand what it’s like to eat the same foods all the time, because you know which ones you can eat a lot of and consume very little calories. Those big 5-lb. bags of frozen vegetables didn’t last very long in my freezer, and I went through many packages of 98% fat free microwave popcorn.

You know what I’m happy about? I’m really glad that I no longer think of the phrase, “You’re so skinny” as a compliment. I’m glad my goals today include wanting to do a pull-up, and increase the amount of on-the-toes pushups I can do.

Here are the featured Letter to My Body posts from the past two weeks, chosen by the last BlogHer Contributing Editor to host this initiative back on May 8th: Mir of Woulda Coulda Shoulda, along with her comments.

Mir said: “curiousme broke my heart with her pondering on whether her body is her friend or her enemy:”

I just need to learn how to stop resenting the fact that you are female, a state which to me seems to be one of second class citizianship, inferiority and weakness….I love your strength and health, your co-ordination and ability, but despite this I still hate your breasts and genitalia. It doesn’t make sense, it shouldn’t make a difference, you are stronger and more able than some mens bodies yet I still seem to be veiwed as less able and somehow not quite good enough, a creature to be humoured and put up with, rather than cherished, respected and valued as an independant contributing human being, because of you.

you suck, and your the most valuable possesion I have, all at the same time.

“Like many of our contributors, Heather wishes things had been a bit different:”

I have starved and cleansed and drugged and pushed and pulled and anything else that I thought would force you to be the Body I wanted. I am sorry for that. I have, without doubt, earned every pound and every stretch mark and every wrinkle and scar. I can’t say that there is much that I truly regret in my life, well, a few things come to mind, but I can say that I do wish that you and I were a bit closer. I wish that we could work this out and get on the same page. I know that it’s not you, it’s me. I am the one who keeps pulling away and being demanding and whiny…high maintenance even. I see what you mean about counseling.

“And finally, Christy writes to the various parts of her body individually, and it must be read in its entirety to get the maximum effect. It is, altogether, an honest masterpiece — encouraging and scolding and praising and damning all at once.”

BlogHer started this Letter to My Body campaign back in February, but the submissions have started to slow down. I know there are plenty of you out there who have something to say, just as I did. Won’t you add your story?

I think this initiative is a powerful thing, and it’s very empowering to read what women are thinking and saying about their bodies. You can submit your link by visiting this post and/or blogging your letter directly on BlogHer.

By Zandria | Posted in BlogHer | Comments (11)

Would You Get Plastic Surgery to Further Your Career?

19thMay2008

(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)

Nobody likes to think that an attractive colleague might have a greater advantage in the workplace. After all, promotions and other opportunities should be based on how well you do your job — not the length of your hair, or the size of your chest, or the slimness of your waist.

But apparently that’s not the case. Attractive people tend to get paid more, and they’re promoted more often, and because of that, plastic surgery procedures are becoming more common.

Now, of course this all depends on the industry in which you work. If you’re a freelance writer who uses the internet to send submissions and never (or hardly ever) has contact with your employers? You probably won’t feel the same kind of pressure. But other workplaces are different. Maybe they want an attractive person interacting with their bigwig clients, or sitting at the front desk greeting visitors.

I wonder…what’s the reason for the rise in cosmetic surgery? In the past few years, have women suddenly become so much more uncomfortable with the way they look? Has the stigma lessened, along with the risks? Or are reports like these — telling us we’ll have more opportunities in the workplace if we look more attractive — partly to blame as well?

I have mixed feelings about plastic surgery. On one hand I wish there was never a reason for a woman to feel insecure about the way she looks. But, unfortunately, that’s not realistic. I also know there are plenty of women who have had procedures done and felt a whole lot better about themselves afterwards. Who am I to judge and say they should have remained the way they were?

After all, if people want to look better, there are other things you can do to your body that could be compared to the risks of having a surgical procedure. What about going to tanning beds and/or laying out in the sun to darken your skin? At least cosmetic surgery doesn’t cause skin cancer.

There are also certain procedures you can have done that don’t have the same stigma attached as, say, having liposuction on your thighs or getting a face-lift. For instance, I had laser-eye surgery last year, and I’m happy with the outcome. That was an elective procedure, and I could’ve chosen to wear glasses for the rest of my life if my contact lenses were really bothering me that much. But even though I chose to have that surgery, no one has ever questioned my decision or said, “My, how vain of you.” (Unless it was behind my back and I never heard about it.)

As another example, what about going to a dentist to have your teeth whitened? Just because it’s safer than going under anesthesia to have a boob job, it’s still elective. You’re having your teeth whitened because, in your eyes, whiter teeth will make you look more attractive. (And I have no problem with that. I’ve been thinking about having my teeth whitened, too.)

In US News, Liz Wolgemuth describes How Plastic Surgery Can Help Your Career.

[T]here’s increasing research that says looks matter in jobs beyond the silver screen — that beautiful people make more money and have more opportunities for advancement. So it’s no real surprise that plastic surgery is being deployed as an instrument of career advancement. [...]

The American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery reports that, among last year’s most prominent trends, about two thirds of its members reported seeing men and women who requested cosmetic surgery because they wanted to remain competitive in the workplace.

Moe at Jezebel reacts to this trend of getting plastic surgery to stay competitive in the workplace.

Fun new trend being reported by two-thirds of plastic surgeons! People are getting it done to “remain competitive in the workplace,” with eye jobs and teeth-whitening two of the most popular procedures. Hey, cheaper than going back to school and easier than learning Flash design!

If you want a non-surgical alternative to a rounder rear end? There’s always the option of booty-boosting panties. Leslie at The Weighting Game tried them (and posted pictures of the before-and-after).

And yes, I did wear them out in public, all day and all night long. [...]

8:20am I run into the bedroom where Dan is still sleeping and start yelling and screaming for him to “look at my new butt!” He is very tired but musters the energy to prop himself up on one elbow (note: the fact that his wife is running around like a banshee, hollering about her butt at 8am, does not even cause him to blink an eye. He is quite used to such antics by this point.) “How lucky do you feel to have a wife that pulls stunts like this?!” I ask/demand. He firmly swats me in the ass to show his appreciation and we are both struck by the resounding, hollow “Thwuhp!” that fills the room; usually, such a move would emit a hard “Thwack!”

8:45am I bend over and Dan plays bongo drums on my Bubbles in some form of bizarre new-wave mating ritual.

Stella is debating about increasing the size of her lips.

I want to get my lips done. It has always sort of been at the back of my mind. I have nice little lips — the operative word here? Little. I have a perfect cupid’s bow but then the lips dwindle into nothing. [...]

I chickened out. I cancelled the consultation appointment. I care what my friends/Engineer/parents think (to which they would FREAK). However, now that they think I have cancelled I sort of want to do an experiment — get it done and see if they notice! Plus, the thing lasts only six months so isn’t it better to know than to always wonder?

Jill can’t afford plastic surgery, so she decided to look within to increase her confidence.

In celebration of the fact that I can not afford plastic surgery anytime in the near future, I’ve decided to take a long look in the mirror and admire the good things about my body. Even as someone who is overweight, I am still able to find some good in my body. [...]

I don’t desire to have these things done to please men. I’ve never had trouble getting a man, and honestly it’s never been my focus. I’m not saying I’m anything special or I’m some kind of knockout, but attracting men seems to happen with relative ease if you’re confident, and for a long time in my life, I was very sure of myself. I was focused, driven, and totally my own independent spitfire of a woman, and people in general tend to be drawn to that kind of personality.

Vintage Vandalizm knows women who have had surgery, but still aren’t content with the way they look.

I know many women who have undergone plastic surgery thinking they would be satisfied, many of my customers go from a nose job, to a whole body job. Truth is, they will never be satisfied, they seem to think that plastic surgery will cure there insecurities but later realize its the inside that needs healing. I deal with women everyday, all complaining about things naked to the eyes of others but there own. [...]

Ive always been rebelious to the standards of society, but I too am affected by what I think is the perfect woman. No one could be that strong, not even me. I always tell other women to make there insecurities and weaknesses into there strengths, It does not mean I am completely satisfied with who i am, I too am fighting my bad conscience everyday, and i want women out there to know Im fighting with them..You are not alone.

Have you had cosmetic surgery? If you haven’t, what would you have done?

Related Reading:

Careers blogger Penelope Trunk says Plastic surgery is the next must-have career tool. Maybe.

Savvy Sugar: Is Plastic Surgery the Next Trend in Getting Ahead at Work?

Gabriel Olds for Glamour magazine: Why men crave real (not perfect) bodies

MSNBC: You Want a Prettier What?! (Patients seeking out procedures on belly buttons, toes — and elsewhere.)

Newsweek: Chest Right: What you need to know about getting breast implants (the pros, the cons and the long-term consequences)

By Zandria | Posted in BlogHer | Comments (11)

Fitness Magazines: Do They Make Us Feel Better or Worse About Ourselves?

13thMay2008

(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)

Through the years, I’ve had subscriptions to many of the major women’s fashion magazines at some time or another: Cosmopolitan. Marie Claire. In Style. Glamour. In the past year or so I’ve switched to fitness-related magazines instead: Shape. Fitness. Oxygen. Women’s Health.

My observation: fashion magazines tend to be criticized for showcasing 80-lb. models wearing ridiculously expensive gowns (among other things), but fitness magazines can display unrealistic body types, too. (I’m not saying this is their fault — they choose cover models with washboard abs because they want an alluring picture to pique consumers’ interest at the supermarket checkout aisle. It’s the same reason why celebrities tend to grace the covers of fashion magazines way more often than actual models do.)

As much as I wish these images didn’t affect me, I still sometimes catch myself being hyper-aware of women’s bodies in fitness magazines. And I’m not saying this is always a bad thing. If you see a woman burst through the tape at the finish line of a marathon? Or hoist a heavy weight? Or complete a pull-up (something I’d very much like to be able to do myself)? Now those are images to look up to.

The thing is, I really like the idea of fitness magazines. I like their focus on healthy living, smart eating choices, lifestyle success stories, and new workout ideas. But I also think they can be just as detrimental as their fashion-focused counterparts, and that’s because there are so many women who strive to look like fitness models, to the detriment of the actual “healthy” part. If you’re stick-thin because you do a lot of cardio, but completely skip the weight training? If you eat healthy foods but don’t eat enough to support a healthy BMI? Can you really say you’re doing what’s best for your body?

I’m not trying to preach. It’s just that I understand how easy it is to fall into the trap of trying to look like someone you’re not. I’ll be the first to admit that I spent too many years focused on the numbers on the scale, rather than how I felt physically.

I’m in a much better state, both mentally and physically, than I once was. But even as my thoughts evolve away from, “I want to look like her!” to thinking instead, “I want to see my abs because I know I have a strong core and I’ve worked HARD for that definition,” it’s still possible to get sucked back into the Old Way of Thinking. And when I see photos of impossibly flat abs, or stick-thin thighs, that doesn’t help.

What’s the solution? In my case, as cheesy as this may sound, my internal rule is that I have to follow up any negative thoughts with something positive. For example, as I was writing this post last night, I received the July issue of Oxygen magazine in the mail. (I do like Oxygen better than some of the other fitness magazines out there — they tend to feature women with actual muscles, and visibly strong/fit bodies, rather than women who look like they only eat lettuce.)

I looked at the cover. “Her abs!” I noted immediately. (I tend to get jealous over a nice set of defined abdominals.)

My immediate follow-up to that was, “You just went to the gym and did a mean leg workout. You go, girl!”

And, no, of course that doesn’t mean I can delude myself into thinking I suddenly have a Rock Star Body like this particular cover model. But you know what? You have to be kind to your body, and be thankful for what you do like about it, and all the things you’re able to accomplish. If the magazine really bothered me so much that it made me feel like crap whenever I looked at it? I’d throw it away. Because my sanity is way more important.

Noel Figart says she has “something of a love/hate relationship with fitness literature.”

On the one hand I like to look for information.

On the other? It can be discouraging.

When I see articles about how someone’s life has become so much better since they got thin and look great in a bikini I want to scream, “You’re missing the point!” I mean…of course I want to be found attractive. But ya know, that’s a lot of work to go to get approbation from the outside. And the idea of finding life validation in terms of how sexy I’m seen is kinda scary to me, because it puts my life worth in someone else’s hands. No thanks. See, when I work out, I do it to be stronger. Would I like to look hot in a bikini? Sure. But honestly that’s years away if it ever happens and isn’t much of a motivator to get my ass into the pool or a bar loaded across my shoulders. At this stage it’s the energy to do my day. It’s having physical options.

When LeAnn Rimes was on the cover of Fitness magazine, the blogger at Bliss and Beauty walked by a magazine rack with her husband and had the following exchange:

H[usband]: What! Is that LeAnn Rimes? Didn’t she used to be chubby. Well, I don’t mean chubby, just not that thin.

Me: She was “softer” when she was younger.

H[usband]: She looks really different.

Me: I read [she] took up yoga.

And that was the end of the conversation. Not significant. But if I was “on,” I would have pointed out that of course she looks different. It’s called perfect lighting, hair and make-up experts, body tape, and, the biggie, photoshop. I guess we can’t be advocating all the time.

Leslie at The Weighting Game gives “Reason #15,913 [Why] I love my husband.”

Shape Magazine arrived in the mail a few days ago and, upon spying Ali Larter on the cover in a bikini, he pointed to the impossibly long vertical line bisecting her chest and torso and said, “She is SO airbrushed! How can people think that’s real?”

God, I adore him.

When actress Angie Harmon was on the cover of Shape magazine last year, she said she never goes to a gym. Stephanie from Back in Skinny Jeans thought it was irresponsible for a fitness magazine to convey that message.

[T]he byline reads, “Angie Harmon How she got this body. No gym. No Trainer.” In the magazine article, Angie says she keeps her great shape through weekend activities like swimming, hiking, and bike rides with her two girls and hubbie Jason Seaborn. [...]

[F]or her to say that she stays this skinny with just fun family activities is kinda fantasy land, and not really a good article for Shape magazine. I mean isn’t the whole point of Shape to help us stay fit and healthy through exercise, food, and well being[?]

I think Angie just has a really high metabolism and is one of those ladies who is just naturally on the thin side. Again, I don’t know her personally and for all we know she doesn’t eat much. When actresses say they stay magazine cover thin by not working out I tend to call shenanigans.

Erica Bartle (nee Holburn) helped put together a “body special” for a magazine last year, and had this to say about her experience.

Yes, women’s magazines make health and nutritional information accessible for women who really need it — many get encouraging letters from readers who have been inspired to take control of their health and lose weight. But there also needs to be a message about weight loss not being the key to happiness. Show me a skinny, carb-deprived woman who’s smiling and I’ll give you a hundred bucks (Nicole, Mary-Kate et. al. could barely muster the energy for a smile, surviving as they do/did on Starbucks coffee).

Taylor Ryan at Real Women Lift says “Celebrities and Their Workout Secrets Are Nothing But Bologna.”

Apparently Beyonce is able to maintain her bootylicious body because she resist[s] cravings for southern food. [...] I can guarantee you that Beyonce does a bit more than just say No to fried chicken and Mac & Cheese. I pray that people do not really look to the stars for fitness advice because it is very doubtful that…useful tips and programs are going to be given to get the body you want.

I am not saying that these stars do not have a great diet and exercise program but the tips that are often given or their claims for why they look the way they do are often skewed. Real muscle and leanness comes from a proper fitness and diet plan. I promise it is not going to happen if you walk your dog around the block each day for your sole exercise or if you pass on the collards.

Fitness model Jamie Eason did an interview with Fat Fighter TV. She was asked, “How hard is it to look that good?!!” Her response:

[Jamie]: Unfortunately, it’s not easy! If it were, everyone would look fit all the time. People need to realize, women especially, that what you see in magazines is not only enhanced with Photoshop, but many models are photographed around contest time or the women have trained specifically for the shoot. I will be the first to admit that even with my best efforts, stress and hormones alone, will add 8 to 10 pounds of water weight that are sometimes unavoidable before a shoot. It is very difficult to achieve the perfect look we see in magazines, and nearly impossible to maintain it for any length of time. Age, hormones and genetics are all big factors.

An upside to all this? Technology. Blogs. The freedom we have to write whatever we want — both good and bad — about our bodies and how we may feel about them at any particular time. BlogHer co-founder Lisa Stone and Contributing Editor Suzanne Reisman were interviewed for an article that appeared in Fitness magazine: Body Confidence 2.0: How Technology Is Changing Women’s Body Image.

Over the past 12 months, a viral movement has begun — a grassroots effort to take back the way women’s bodies are represented in America. “What we are seeing is a backlash to the homogenizing of women’s bodies via airbrushing and digital manipulation,” says Lisa Stone, cofounder of BlogHer.com, a Web site devoted to what women are saying and writing online. “More and more women are realizing the power of the Internet to reach out to other women in affirmation of what our bodies really look like. We see that we can turn the tables on how technology is used in the larger conversation about body image.” [...]

In the past five years, we have shifted from a society that uses the Internet to receive factual information to one that uses the Web to share anecdotal advice — and women are leading the charge. “Women are the ‘connectors’ in our communities,” says Stone. “The Internet is another forum for doing that.”

Do fitness magazines affect you, either positively or negatively? If you read them, which one is your favorite?

Related Reading:

Kelly at Fitness Fixation has an issue with magazines that make women look too perfect (doesn’t everybody sweat when they work out?). She dislikes all the “preachy, uptight fitness advice I find so appalling in most women’s magazines” and she wants to start a “blog campaign for sweaty models who don’t smile when they exercise.”

Ace Fitness: Fitness Magazines and Image Disorders

Zen Habits: 17 Fitness Truths To Get You In Great Shape. (#13 is “Don’t compare yourself to magazine models.”)

By Zandria | Posted in BlogHer, Fitness | Comments (22)