Comments on: Sex and Relationship Advice From My Mother

By: Lisa J

Lisa J — Sun, 11 May 2008 15:20:40 +0000

My mom was the 2nd oldest of 8 kids. She never had one-on-one time w/her own mom, so even though I only have one brother, my mom didn’t necessarily know how to have “the talk” with us.

I vaguely remember her saying something about being in love & getting married, an uncomfortable mention of penises & vaginas, and “I hope you make good decisions” to top it all off.

Unfortunately, she was convinced that my husband was my “first” but I know it would kill her to find out he wasn’t. So I won’t say anything to her about. It’s been 17 years since I lost my virginity but I’m still not sure she’d want to hear about it!! LOL!

By: kat

kat — Tue, 06 May 2008 08:55:27 +0000

Yeah, I hear you Zan. I kinda wish my mother was more “meddling” than she was too. Oh, I knew what kind of thing my mother expected, but growing up, and looking back, it feels a little bit like she didn’t want to get her “hands dirty” and have those uncomfortable conversations that would have made us closer. I also feel like I have been making my own decisions my whole life. And while this is a great freedom, it also is a little bit lonely.

By: enny

enny — Tue, 06 May 2008 08:32:34 +0000

(Don’t get me wrong – we’re close enough, but not close enough to talk about ‘adult’ things!)

By: enny

enny — Tue, 06 May 2008 08:32:01 +0000

This is really interesting!

I’m not close to either of my parents and a lot of these things (no sex scenes on tv etc) were the same for me. It’s kind of amazing the way that it affects you later in life – keep in mind, my dad still gets uncomfortable and carries on if there is a tampon ad on tv… I wish there was a way that I could have grown up without the hangups or found a way to deal with (sex!) things like an adult, not a 14yo Catholic schoolgirl…

By: krishna

krishna — Tue, 06 May 2008 04:35:49 +0000

well i do not think its because of how religious your parents were. even thou we grew up only about 500 feet from one another , my parents were the poler opiset of yours , i could do what ever when ever with who ever, but ive never gotten advice about relationships and i felt every bit of the embarrassment about watching films where any thing taboo might accrue.i rember many times when i would have to leave the room when watching films because it was to emberising to watch theme in the same room as mom or dad .as far as sex, and the discussion thereof, i still fell as thou it is something shameful that must be avoided when it comes to my parents. i think its sort of natural for this to occur. so the real question is why do we feel this way .

By: Stephanie Quilao

Stephanie Quilao — Tue, 06 May 2008 03:13:41 +0000

Courting? That is so generational. I soooo wish men still courted some like in the Jane Austen movies. Now, it’s “Hey you’re hot, wanna hook up?” *ugh*

Me too on the advice from folks. I grew up in a strict Catholic home so you know how Catholics are about sex & guilt. Although,as I got older, the folks loosened way up. They are like my best friends now, and I feel comfortable talking to them about anything. My mom is the Complete Mother in so many ways. I won the parent lottery.

By: Ron

Ron — Mon, 05 May 2008 21:05:02 +0000

Well, you can discuss it with me, I’m much more liberal than your mother. On the other hand, it won’t do you much good: I’m too old for you, and I’m afraid I’d be too likely to commit a controversial act. I can’t say that I have noo shame, but it may be true that even now you’re too good for a reprobate like me. I have fantasies, but I try not to share them with anyone as kind and considierate as you are. At least you’re not Pollyanna. For that matter, at least I’M not!!!

By: Robin

Robin — Mon, 05 May 2008 19:44:26 +0000

great post. my father sounds like your mother – never one to give unsolicited advice. mothers are always right, aren’t they?

By: Carrie

Carrie — Mon, 05 May 2008 18:52:39 +0000

I’ve never received any sort of relationship or sex advice from my mom either (but I don’t think I would want it anyway). Like your parents, mine are conservative, but Catholics. They definitely were not happy when my boyfriend moved in with me, but know that it was my choice, and have never treated me differently because of it.

By: Eileen

Eileen — Mon, 05 May 2008 17:53:53 +0000

Great post! I have a similar relationship with my mom, and we definitely don’t talk about sex. To her, talking about it is totally taboo and out of the question.