I am definitely tend to be a loner anyway but lately, I think I’ve bordered on being hermit-like.

I always have issues seeing old friends and family because the FIRST thing they talk about is my weight (how small or heavier I’ve become), that in order to attract a suitable mate I have to be presentable always, etc.

Yesterday, I went to a picnic with my grand-daddy. I had one plate of Southern goodness and throughly enjoyed it. I went back for seconds, which I half finished and I felt less so. The guilt crept up and I stopped enjoying myself.

I can’t enjoy eating with my family, I realized. My old demons come raging out bad and I always end up feeling horrible about myself.

I definitely know exactly what you’re talking about. It’s much easier, sometimes, to stick to a very strict regimen if you can do it alone with no one asking difficult and awkward questions. I try to make a point of eating with other people so that I won’t impose silly regulations on my food intake and all now.

Thanks for sharing your story with us. I think it will help others open up, maybe not on a blog but in their own world with their own friends. Great story. Keep up the good work.

Mikkie: I honestly can’t think of another “obsession” that I’ve turned to in order to replace my former obsession. I’m interested in fitness, of course, but I think it’s in a healthy way — I’m not overdoing it, or over-training or anything.

Since eating disorders are generally a coping mechasnism to deal with emotions (I think) they are usually replaced by something else (some other obsession?) when they are over. For me i have noticed that I go impulse shopping now when I am bothered by something but do not recognize it yet. do you have a similar experiences?

(Maybe I should indeed blog about this as well instead of writing loooooong comments. :-))

I now work at a small college that has quite a stressful working and living environment. As such it is quite well known that many girls there have eating disorders. Though I never know for sure of course I do often get hunches about who does and who does not have an eating disorder.

Symptoms in general: perfectionistic, scared to death of not scoring straight A’s, of not living up to expectations of others and indeed generally hiding behind a mask, not showing true feelings, sounding too rational and being overly critical of themselves.

I saw you were reading “gaining”. Just got myself a copy as well. Very interesting and recognisable. would love to share some thougths about that!