(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)
After many years of a strict handgun ban in Washington, DC, last week the Supreme Court ruled in favor of an individual’s right to bear arms. I’ve lived in Virginia most of my life, and just a few miles outside of DC — in Alexandria — for almost two years, so the ban has never affected me personally. I’ve never owned a gun, but I like knowing I have the option if I want it.
I went to a firing range last year for the first time. I haven’t been back since then, but I did enjoy it. I discovered (to my surprise) that I’m a pretty good shot. It took me a few times firing a small handgun to get used to the idea that such a small instrument could create such a loud noise — not to mention the surge of power you feel in your hands and arms once you pull the trigger.
Would I own a gun? I’ve never specifically sought one out. In my case, learning how to handle it properly, and clean it, would need to be thoroughly explained before I’d be comfortable calling myself a gun owner (not to mention additional firing practice). So I’m definitely not opposed to owning a gun; it’s just that I wouldn’t waltz into a store and buy one without knowing what I was doing (or at least having some sort of plan).
So let’s say I sign up to take a firearms safety class. I choose a handgun that I’m comfortable with, and the mechanics of how to use and care for this weapon are drilled into my head. The next question is, do I actually need to own a gun? And that, of course, is the hardest question to answer.
I don’t see myself carrying a gun in my purse, or in my car, on a regular basis. I don’t feel like I need that level of personal security. I could see myself keeping a gun under my bed, in case someone were to break in — but how often does that happen?
Maybe that’s the problem, though. Maybe I have a false sense of security, and unless something bad happens I’ll continue to think I can go along as I am right now. After all, I don’t live in a bad area. I’ve never lived anywhere that’s been broken into while I was living there. I’ve never been physically attacked. Aside from one incident a few months ago when I had a guy follow me in his car while I was on foot (someone who was more annoying than menacing, and drove off once I finally raised my voice to him), I’ve never been in a situation where I felt like I was in immediate danger.
Some women take self-defense classes. The fact that I have a self-admitted short memory — which means if I don’t practice something on a regular basis, I’ll almost certainly forget it — is a big reason why I haven’t bothered to do the same. If I were to be attacked six months after the class ended, I can see myself thinking, “Was I supposed to grab with this hand, and then elbow him on this side, to escape from a choke-hold?” More than likely — as I look back on situations that I was prepared for in advance, but rational thought escaped me at the worst possible moment (like job interviews) — I fear everything I’d learned in a self-defense class would fly right out of my head as soon as someone got close enough to grab me.
I don’t know what the odds are of someone my age, late 20s, being attacked by a stranger. When I first moved to Alexandria and lived in a not-as-nice area of the city, I regularly carried pepper spray with me in my purse. At the time I was working a job where I didn’t get home until after midnight, and every night when I got out of the car I had my purse over one arm and the container of pepper spray in my right hand. I never had to use it, but I felt better knowing it was there.
But now? I work regular daytime hours, and I live in a better area, and sometimes I’ll even go running outside after the sun has set. Would I feel differently about my low level of personal protection if something happened to me, or if there was a known attacker on the loose in my area? Would I alter some of my habits, like running in the dark? Yes, I’m sure I’d feel differently in that case.
Options: The aforementioned self-defense class. Pepper spray. Tasers. My problem with all three of these things is that you have to be pretty close to the person in order to use them. I suspect that’s the appeal of guns for some women — you run a much smaller risk of being overpowered. It’s much easier to keep someone away from you in the first place, rather than having to react once someone already has their hands on you.
Then again, I’ve already said I wouldn’t carry a gun around with me on a regular basis, so if I were serious about protecting myself I’d probably have multiple options to choose from.
Sigh. There’s so much to think about. It’s so much easier to pretend this will never be an issue, and I can just continue living my life as I have been. But if I think about it, it does bother me that I’m not prepared. I think I should be prepared to react in some way to an emergency situation. And right now, I’m not.
Cindy at Ethiodyssey was initially attracted to the idea of owning a gun, but changed her mind.
In 1997, I took a basic NRA gun class in Pennsylvania with one of my co-workers. My motivation for doing so was that at the time I thought if I ever lived alone as a single woman, I might need a small handgun for my dwelling to protect myself. The second night of that course I shot a 9 mm handgun and it almost knocked me completely down, it was so powerful. From that moment I’ve never again considered personally owning a handgun nor had any interest in anything even remotely to do with the NRA. I understand why the NRA exists. However I’m appalled at the prevalence of guns in our country today. When the writers of the U.S. Constitution put the 2nd Amendment in that document that has shaped American legal and social history, obviously the public paradigms and social landscape were profoundly different.
Skye Puppy talks about Taser parties.
I really would have loved [a Taser] when I was first divorced. I had been accustomed to having a man around the house for 18 years, whose job was to get up and investigate any scary noises in the middle of the night, while I got to stay under the covers listening for any telltale sounds of a scuffle. I’m not sure what I would have done if I’d heard them.
Suddenly on my own, though, having to deal with ominous sounds in the night myself, a nice pink Taser would have felt comforting. Or maybe the purple or leopard-print model.
Erin Weed (professional speaker, author and Executive Director of Girls Fight Back!) asks some of the same questions I have about the Taser. She explains what a Taser is and what it does, and she also lists a few things women should consider when it comes to their personal safety — she’s a fan of being prepared to fight back physically. For instance:
#2: Is [the Taser] a replacement for other self-defense? I get a little nervous when anyone’s self-defense response is a can of pepper spray, a taser or any other product du jour. You’ve got to have a plan if the batteries die or if you miss. What then? I think your mind and body are your best weapons, and anything else you decide to use is a bonus.
#3: Are you going to carry your taser all the time? A mistake we often make is to arm ourselves only when there is a perceived threat. [...]
#4: Will you get training? Sometimes women buy safety products, only to FEEL more safe. This is more dangerous than not carrying anything at all, because it creates a false sense of security. Anything we arm ourselves in, we should also know how to use under stress.
Erin also has a hypothesis why women “avoid learning about self-defense and personal safety.”
I’ve been asking women from all walks of life to understand what’s holding us back. I mean, why wouldn’t any of us want to know how to save our own life? And recently it has become somewhat clear. Perhaps more women are interested in seeking peace than fighting back. Why go to a self-defense class and get verbally assaulted and pinned by a mock assailant when you can take a yoga class instead? Why choose to put ourselves in staged (yet scary) situations that all of us dread and go to great lengths to avoid? I mean, after a day of work and kids and bills and life, doesn’t a glass of wine sound a tad more soothing than fighting off a padded attacker with a palm strike?
Phoenix and Salamander took a self-defense class where she was attacked at the end by an instructor wearing a padded suit. The attack was frightening for her, but at the end she felt empowered.
I actually only remember the three minute struggle in bits and pieces. Throwing hands off only to have them grab me again and again. Using every part of my body to resist. [...] Yelling and cursing, saying things that I am astonished to admit I was actually feeling. Ending up on the floor and driving my feet over and over into his solar plexus as I tried desperately to get up, terrified then.
Then the first solidly landed cross came. I have a muscle memory of drawing my fist back and letting it sail right out and over John’s chin, and watching his head follow the path of my force. I thought, holy crap, I just did that. [...]
I hope that the majority of marks I will leave in this world will be positive, generative ones. But now I am aware of my capability to fight, and that I am proud that I can. And I hope that will be another part of me I can be proud of.
What do you think about your ability to protect yourself? Are you prepared?
20 Comments
very interesting post and links.
Id say no as much as I would like to think yes.
on my do to list for far too long? krav maga (hmmm. sp?)
Im clinging to the fact that I dont walk like a victim now that Im realizing how unprepared I really am.
M.
I’ve lived in “bad” areas for nearly ten years now, and I’ve only been attacked once, although I’ve had my car vandalised on numerous occassions. I think if you live somewhere a bit dangerous, you quickly get streetwise – I rarely go out on my own after dark and I know the areas where I should never go at all.
Gun ownership worries me, I have to say. I think you risk escalating the incident further than necessary. Rape alarms and pepper spray are definitely wise investments though – but the best thing of all is to be sensible, aware and on your guard at all times.
TA x
“you run a much smaller risk of being overpowered [with a gun]”
Why is this? When you get mugged, you are almost always surprised. It’s not like you’ll be walking around with your gun drawn. Also, even if you did have time to react, would a hardened criminal really be intimidated by a woman (obviously frightened) brandishing a gun?
And would you really be able to pull the trigger and kill another human being? If you can’t do it, or you miss, then you are probably worse of than if you didn’t have the gun at all.
Like #2 I worry about escalation most of all. People can be ruled by fear. Remember when the kid trick-or-treating got blown away? Remember Bernard Goetz? And I am sure that plenty of people think he was in the right for his reaction – but the bottom line is, the more guns people have, the more opportunities there are to use them.
I’m neither here nor there on the ownership thing. Personally I have no need for one. I see little value to having a gun in your pocketbook, since you will almost always be surprised in a mugging. And home invasions are rare: most criminals breaking in to houses do so when the owner isn’t there; they want the stuff- not a confrontation. So to me, owning a gun offers little actual benefit. Maybe there’s a psychological one for some people, but I feel perfectly safe without one. And safer with the knowledge that my own gun will never end up pointing at me — since I don’t have one.
I don’t carry any self-defense products or devices with me, and I’ve never taken a self-defense course (that’s totally going on my next 101 things list, though!). I think my plan would be something along the lines of kick/bite/scratch/scream like a banshee. I’m hoping it never gets put to the test…
Hm, I think I want to take a self-defense class if for no other reason than to build self-confidence.
i agree with erin weed, i think learning self-defense is a lot more useful than carrying a weapon. and learning self-defense is a lot different than learning to waltz or to knit – part of the training is having it become muscle memory so that it is automatic, not something you have to “remember.” it’s like riding a bike.
on the gun issue – i recently read a quote from a firearms instructor that 80% of the people who come to him to learn how to use a gun for self-defense end up deciding not to buy one because they do not want the responsibility. he said that to use a gun in self-defense you need to be prepared to aim at the attacker’s chest and fire several shots. it’s one thing to want to protect yourself, it’s another to be mentally prepared to kill another human being at point blank range.
personally, my “self-defense plan” is to avoid being in a situation in which i need to defend myself. while i think self-defense class are a good thing, i think the best thing any of us can do to protect ourselves is avoid danger, to avoid being a target.
i’m not avoiding learning about self-defense because i’d rather be peaceful and do yoga, i’m not making it a high priority because i don’t think i need it. it’s just not something that concerns me. in terms of potential dangers to my personal safety, being attacked by a human being is one of the least likely to occur. i’m much more worried about things that are more likely to actually happen, like having the pharmacist fill my prescription incorrectly or getting a drug-resistant staph infection.
Interesting post! I have linked to this at The DC Feed.
personally, i just don’t like guns! and to be honest, i don’t really know how i feel about this new law/ruling. couldn’t it potentially make for more problems, not less?
i think when it come’s to owning gun’s, maybe, just maybe, having one in the house may not be a bad idea..that is, if one is truly capable of operating it. yes,false assurance is a bad thing. to receive “limited training”, when it come’s to firearm’s and self defence can be more harmful than a help. one tend’s to be more ready to take chance’s and to put themselve’s in a potentially more dangerous situation than exercising “GOOD COMMON SENSE”. as for gun’s in your apartment. question. do you know what the law’s are in your area when it come’s to protecting yourself, even in your home. did you know that there are case’s where if you shoot someone that has broken into your home, and has caused no physical damage to you, has ended up being taking the “victim”, you, to court and being sued and if you happen to kill them, you end up with a man “slaughter charge”, on your hand’s. it’s true! a gift from our “no gun ownership friend’s.” what do you think? remember, it is one thing to have a weapon or some knowledge of self defense. it is quite another to be able to use them when it come’s to actually having to. suggestion’s..if you think that self defense is something you may be able to use, remember, practice make’s perfect. it can be a good thing on the street’s and at home as well…a whisle, spray, item’s used to make alot of noice are all good. don’t be shy in useing them. it’s better “to be safe than sorry”. right!
I’m afraid of guns. My husband bought me a taser which I am afraid to use. I carry it to give him peace of mind but I don’t know if I could ever bring myself to use it. I would say I have a false sense of security. I try to be alert.
Despite owning a gun, I don’t ever intend to use it for self-defense. If the time comes where I feel routinely threatened, then I will know it’s an option. My brother bought it for me in case I ever have a stalker or a bad ex-boyfriend, and I hope never to need the gun.
In terms of a self-defense class, I encourage you to take one. I took one in college, and I learned some useful stuff. But even better than having recall is having some muscle memory and practice at what to do. We practiced scary situations like having someone on top of us or grabbing a wrist. I probably couldn’t tell you all the steps to get out of a choke hold, but I do know that I instinctively put my chin down toward my chest now when someone puts their arm around my shoulders (first step of escaping a choke hold, btw). Even if you don’t execute a move perfectly when you need it, you’ve still got that practice just in case it ever happens.
Personally, I live my life unafraid. I try not to be too paranoid about what could potentially happen, because the odds of something happening to me specifically are quite slim. But it’s always good to have thought about it and know what you might do in the worst-case scenario.
Great minds think alike. First swim classes and now this. I think that if someone wants to own a weapon, then they should have that right, but not without being taught how to properly handle one, keep it in a locker away from children., etc. I personally would like to have one someday. I don’t think that’s dependent upon the area that I live in, etc., but just being prepared.
I’m also looking into self defense classes. Being a runner and a woman, you can never be too safe. I’ve heard too many horror stories and I don’t want to be a statistic. Some local police depts. offer free self defense classes for women.
In the end, I think it’s all about being aware of your surroundings.
My bias is that I live in Canada, where you can’t just carry a gun around, and my dad is a police officer, so I’m very aware of the dangers.
I think that knowing how to use a gun is an important life skill, but that having one on you all the time is likely just asking for trouble. Ditto with the pepper spray. I also don’t personally like the idea of needing to rely on something else for protection, so if I can make my body a weapon- ie. take self defense classe- I’d feel the most comfortable and secure with that.
The Taser C2 is the ultimate non lethal self defense weapon for women! Thank You for the great information.
If you train long enough (and smart enough) in self-defense, you won’t forget the moves. Its really not that technical. When the sh*t goes down, proper training will allow you to act instinctively. And usually that instinct is to struggle, scream, hit, swear and do whatever else is necessary not to be over-whelmed.
Its the training that’s important. You’re unlikely to get much out of a 3 day seminar.
The problem with carrying a weapon is that you tend to focus on that weapon and forget about all the other weapons you have (arms, legs, head, etc). Reliance on one thing is bad cuz each situation is different. Being prepared to react accordingly is most important.
my grandmpa wanted to buy me a taser when i moved to chicago. I just lived in Biystown instead – where no men where interestd in me even the tiniest bit. I’ve taken self defense but only in single sessions so nothing that would keep me fluent. I think prevention is key (ie walk in groups; avid alleys; etc.) The gun scares me but I would use it in a heartbeat if someone attacked me. This is making me sad :-(
I am all for someone protecting themselves. I do think it is important to be training on the safety of how to use a firearm before you buy one.
I usually just carry pepper spray with me everywhere. A conceal carry permit is a great thing, but it is a bit of pain to tote a handgun, even the smallest with you everywhere you go.
If you choose pepper spray – order two canisters, one to practice with and one to carry. Make sure when you practice the wind isn’t blowing back at you.
Tasers – I think they are great weapon for law enforcement to carry. I highly advise getting some training before going out and buying a cute pink taser.
FYI – pepper spray doesn’t work on all perps by the way – a guy I went to the academy with ate spicey food on a regular basis and when we had to get sprayed it didn’t affect him at all.
Great post as always
Hey, thanks for the ping!
One of the things I didn’t mention in the blog entry that I think is significant is your ability to completely feel in control of whatever self-defense method you choose to use. I think its a bad idea to carry something just for deterring – that old adage ‘speak softly and carry a big stick’ should have “and know how to use the damn thing!” at the end.
I enjoyed reading your thoughts a bunch – great writing. I’ll visit again soon!
There are alot of gimmicks out there that give women a false sense of confidence/accomplishment. Martial arts is one of them. No matter how good you are – assuming that you are willing to dedicate 4+ years training, 3 hours/day, perfect diet, to get ‘good’ – you will not overcome the 75lbs advantage against an assailant and you will not beat up a group of guys. This isn’t a Chunk Norris action movie.
Your best defense is to be proactive about potential problems. If a shady alley shortcut looks shady, it’s probably for the best to take the long way. If a group of potential trouble makers are at the end of the street, maybe it’s best to turn around.
Your second best defense is your legs. You can sprint away from trouble. A possible assailant simply can’t get in a running contest with you.
Pepper spray can be used in conjuction to the above. Use it, and run.
In regards to guns, I would not expect anyone who has never fired a gun to just randomly get a conceal carry. That is a huge step. Instead, take baby steps. Go to the gun range with friends and have them show you around. Instead of pretending to be in life or death situations, try shooting at targets for sport. See who shoots better, etc. It’s a relatively fun activity. I know several women that have never shot a gun and many were skeptical to even try, but they all ended up having pretty positive experiences. Some even bought guns (for fun target practice more than self defense) My point is: apprach it as a hobby/something to try and have fun; don’t apprach it as a self-defense strategy… at least not at this stage if you are not familiar with guns.
Your single most important self defense tool is your brain. Situational awareness is absolutely key no matter what weapon you carry or don’t carry.
While I have taken martial arts classes before (really looking forward to Krav Maga classes with the hubby), I have no illusions about my ability to fend on even moderately sized guys with half a brain.
Personally, I carry OC spray and a small handgun as many places as I can (the OC spray is my main weapon on campus, where guns are not allowed). I also have a folding knife that is mostly for utility, but I would not hesitate to use as a last-ditch sort of thing if my other weapons are not reachable.
No, I don’t carry weapons because I am scared or paranoid. I just like being prepared. :P My life is something I consider very precious and I am willing to make some sacrifices in order to carry a concealed weapon. I’d rather have it and not need it, then need it and not have it. Maybe it is because law enforcement runs in my family, but I know all to well what can happen to everyday people just living everyday lives.
I decided a long time ago that I will not be a victim.