(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)
What would you do right now if you could change your life? In my case, I seem to have gotten it into my head that I might want to modify my living location once again. This could mean moving to another U.S. city…but it could also mean going to an entirely different country.
There are no definite plans; no city or country identified; no job. I have an apartment lease and a brand new gym membership. This isn’t something that would happen in a matter of months — it’s just an idea that hatched in my mind and won’t go away. I’ve felt for years, ever since I did a semester abroad in college, that I might end up leaving the U.S. again for a period of time. It’s an option, and I like having options.
I’ve always enjoyed reading memoirs written by people who have moved to foreign countries — they write about their experiences, both good and the bad; what they learned; how their lives were changed. When I read about these people, I always think, “I could do that! I want to do that.” It almost scares me to admit it publicly because I usually make definite plans before I let other people know what I’m thinking. But I have a feeling that, this time, this is the best way to go about it.
At this point, I’m thinking another year would be the minimum amount of time I’d need before I was ready to make another move. There’s plenty of stuff that can be done in the meantime though, and I’ve identified some steps I can take.
Most importantly, I’m going to make sure I’m ready to welcome change into my life by being ready for that change to occur. How will I know which city or country I want to move to if I don’t know enough about these places to make an informed decision? I have to do research; I have to explore. Visiting a number of locations would be an ideal option, but that would be prohibitively expensive. I have a few places that I’d really like to see in person (an option for one overseas visit just presented itself last night), but for the others I could at least start doing some research online.
Another part of being ready for change is getting rid of unnecessary clutter so I don’t have to deal with it later. The apartment I live in doesn’t have a ton of storage space, but there are still things that could be weeded out from my closet: old paper files, clothes that are too small, shoes I don’t wear. On top of that, I have boxes of books and mementos stored at my mom’s house, and also in my little sister’s attic. It’s not a ton of stuff, but if it isn’t anything I really love or I’m positive I’m going to use again, there’s no reason for me to keep it (or ask other people to do so).
The thing is, I really like the fact that I’m contemplating this change while I’m happy with my life as it is right now. I like living in Alexandria; my job situation is good; I live close enough to immediate family members that I can reach most of them within a few hours. But I also like that I’m being proactive. I don’t want to wait until I’m tired of how things are, and get to the point where I’m miserable, before I start looking for alternatives.
I’m not 100% sure this will happen. I could always change my mind. A year from now I might say, “Hell, no. No way. Look at how fabulous my life is right now; I’m staying where I am.” And if that’s the case? That’s wonderful. It means I’ll have made an informed decision to stay where I am — and if I do that, it must mean I’m happy and that’s where I should stay. But if I continue to have this nagging thought in the back of my mind that maybe, just maybe, I should do something else? If I don’t explore it, a year from now I’ll still have all those months of research and decision-making in front of me. It’s best to start now.
What do you guys think?
Related Reading:
Mandi at No Apathy Allowed moved to Germany not long ago. This post talks about how impressed she is that Germans are so environmentally friendly and she gives examples of how “energy conservation is integrated into everyday life.”
Wayward Elf talks about the big transitions in her life — one of which was deciding to go to graduate school in Zurich, when she didn’t know how to speak the native language.
Rachel at Small Notebook has been thinking about the importance of preparation, which is her key to staying organized. Her goal for August is to “spend a few minutes each day…taking simple steps to be more prepared and organized.”
23 Comments
We are so in synch!
I’m giving myself a year to move. In that time, I’m knocking out my bank loan and everything else I need too.
it’s funny, I was just thinking about this before you posted and I was trying to get my affairs in order in matters to preference.
I have some ideas of where I want to go. I would like to combine school and living abroad, though but I need to be realistic about expenses.
So, we shall see but in a year, I’m going. That’s concrete.
what would happen to the universe, the world (as it were) if everyone or everything would never sit still long enough in order to allow anything to mature. take it or not, there are times in one’s life when things “hatch” in the mind and they just need to be “unhatched”. this is reasonable. just a thought. if one’s life is producing “fruit”, why pull it up? give it a chance. lovu
I think change is good and I definitely think living abroad is an eye opening experience everyone should have the opportunity to visit (although many don’t). Personally, the hub and I discuss this option and keep it on the back burner. There are many,many factors that play into it and I think if it is for you, and it is something you decide you want to do then you should go for it. Who knows, you might not get the opportunity to go this path later in life.
~K
I think it is a wonderful idea and you are definitely going about it the right way. I am currently going through the same process that you are, however, my plans are much further along.
I have been contemplating a move abroad for a couple years now, the plans finally coming together in February when I made a definite decision. Now, it is a month and a half until I start my brand new adventure in Scotland.
It’s the best and scariest decision I have made in my entire life.
I’m so happy you are looking at this possible move! If you ever think of England as an option, please let me know and we’ll chat. And I’m sure my friends over there would be happy to show you around if you went for a visit. Ooooo – this is just exciting!
…I consider significant travel/living abroad experiences very important…
After tip toeing across the continents, I discovered that I enjoy the ambiguity and excitement travel brings. The unknown is exhilarating and the process of exploration is infinitely interesting, limited only by your imagination and your creativity. Routine, while it exists for very logical reasons in the world of work, otherwise sucks. This is why periodically fracturing a monotonous routine provides intense satisfaction, shifts and broadens perspective, and ignites my imagination.
I have a desire to move overseas too. Perhaps we won’t, but I want to be able to if we get the opportunity. That’s one of the reasons we live in an apartment, and it’s a factor in our finance decisions too. Thanks for the mention!
I think you’re dead on–start doing the research and looking at options now. You can always take all the time you want to think about it, and in the end, you’ll make the decision that’s best for you.
One request–please move somewhere warmish and easily accessible by plane so I can visit!!!
Side note: there’s a [huge] small part of me that’s INSANELY JEALOUS that you have this much freedom. The world is your oyster!!
My wife and I talk about it quite a bit actually. If a contract ever came up with my company, I’d jump on it. I lived in Germany for six years growing up and loved it. The opportunity is amazing, and there’s nothing as fun as traveling and seeing new things.
Mmmm, new countries!
It seem like the travel bug always hits whenever life is going really great. Just to make things more difficult!
Yes, do the research now just in case you still have that feeling to move in a year. Who knows – maybe doing the research will help you decide what to do, right? Living abroad is an amazing experience (as you already know) – I have been fortunate enough to have lived in several countries and I’m so glad I did.
Although I totally respect that and sometimes envy those who have the ability to just pack their stuff and change country, it’s something I have a hard time understanding.
I understand that you need to go abroad if there is a reason like your dreamjob or your Mr Right. But going abroad for the sake of it? I don’t get it. Sure, it’s another culture to discover but still, it’s something I could (maybe) do only if there is something there I can’t get here.
i’ve been contemplating a big change too, i just don’t really know what it is yet.
Hubby and I talk about it a lot. I would really like to get out of here but with us buying a home, starting out our careers, in grad school, etc., a big move is not an option, but it may be in about 5 years. However, if I could change my life and remain single, I would sooo be in Europe or Canada right now…
I think you had a great time when you were overseas before (especially receiving care packages from home!
). I will say, Z, that if this is something that will tug at your unconscious, and keep you from being you (keep you from being fulfilled in your desire to change, and learn and explore) until you actually do take the steps to get this done, then I say do it now (or soon). Sometimes when you get just a bit older than you are now, life and life choices intervene to prevent you from enacting the more daring things you once dreamt of doing (examples, a mortgage, a marriage…children or that one job you just cannot give up, because it provides you with so much). I wish I could have lived overseas when I was younger and more daring (but less financially able to make such a move)…now I am sure that will never happen, and I’m resigned to that…so, if you don’t want to become resigned to missing such opportunities, act on them now (all apologies to your Pop for this advice!).
It’s a great experience no doubt. I loved study abroad. It was so different and freeing in a way. Despite the fact that I’m quite happy in my job right now, the habit of looking for jobs hasn’t ceased yet, and I find myself seeing all these jobs in my profession abroad and think, I should do it! It’s like “Phew, who needs to know the local language, you’ll pick it up.” Throw a dart and see where it lands. It’s a great option!!
It’s totally an option. And it’s amazing how quickly living abroad starts to feel just like home, differences or not!
We talk about it too – much harder with a family of 5! I absolutely think it’s worth considering. Life is about experience, right? Decisions by not making decisions are not satisfying. Go for it! Sounds exciting.
i can understand your dad’s comment, i think that there’s a lot to be gained by investing in a life in one place. there’s something to be gained that you can’t get after being somewhere only a few years. it’s hard for me to explain but there’s something so fulfilling about letting a place be yours, of knowing it intimately, of seeing it change over time, of being a part of the community and it being a part of you, of feeling like you are really HOME. i found that here only after 7+ years of living in one place, and i wouldn’t give it up lightly. certainly not just for newness and change.
i think it’s a lot like relationships – there are benefits to keeping your options open and having the freedom to explore and there are other benefits you can only get by commiting to one person and building a life together.
but like relationships, i think you probably have to choose wisely when you commit yourself to a place. if you haven’t found a place you are ready to commit to, then it’s great that you are going to go explore.
Living abroad has always been kind of a fantasy for me, except that I have too many fears that I doubt I’d ever actually do it. I do however, like to learn about different cultures.
Earlier this year, my Dad and his wife thought that they might move to Belgium. They were pretty excited about it, but it wound up falling through which was okay too. They were happy where they were and what they were doing.
I think it is good that you are just considering options. I have a cousin who went to Italy on a study abroad program and fell in love with it. She is moving there soon to live for awhile. Her parents only say two years, but I think she’d rather live there for like ten years.
The one thing I’d say is to try to talk to different people from the places you are interested in possibly moving. That way you can get direct feedback of both the positive and negative.
Did you read Eat, Pray Love?
me on vacation: loving life.
me at the LAX: hmm. i have to go back to real life.. that kind of sucks.
me, the entire 3 hour plane ride home: i need to move, i need to take more classes at school, i need to keep playing for team BC, i need more money to do all this, i need this, i need that.
me, today: stressed. i feel like i need to make a big change in my life. i don’t know what change that is. or even if i have to make it. my life is pretty damn great, but things just seem.. unbalanced?
your post was terrific though, i’m officially thinking a little more calmly about the whole CHANGE situation.
The other comment I’ll make about moving abroad (as someone who has lived in two other English speaking countries) is that just because the country speaks English it doesn’t mean you still won’t have a culture shock. Quite a few North Americans who’ve come to live here have been surprised that things are so different, one of my friends even bought clothes without trying them on thinking she would be a size 8 here too (size 8 is teeny-tiny – probably a US size 2). Be open-minded and see things as different not worse and you’ll make friends a lot easier. Trust me I learnt the hard way.
At this point there is a small change that we are going to Geneva for Pim’s work. Although it’s small its still very exiting, but also very nerve wracking