I was corresponding with Stephanie the other day when she mentioned she’d decided to take my lead and sign up for an online dating site. Then she asked me how I was planning to handle the actual talking about the dates part — will I discuss the details or won’t I?
This is a tough question. As a non-anonymous blogger, I can’t go around saying whatever comes to mind when there’s a very good chance it could be discovered at any time by the other person involved. (As of today, my blog is the #1 search result on Google for the name “Zandria.”)
I did say something a few months ago when I went out to dinner, and then to a Nationals baseball game, with a guy I met online. I told you guys that I had a nice time but I didn’t feel any sparks. I think it’s okay to mention tidbits like that from time to time (especially when I’m not planning to see the person again, so it’s less likely they’ll end up reading whatever I’ve written — and if they do read it I’m less likely to care), and I’ll probably continue to do so to some extent.
After all, if I happen to meet a tall, dark and handsome fireman who made me weak in the knees — who was wearing his uniform shirt on the night we met in person because he’d just gotten off work — well, that tends to be something I want to come right home and write about. Naturally. (Rawr.)
But I need to hold myself in check. Even if I think this is a nice person and we’re supposed to hang out again, I don’t know how many times we’ll see each other. I don’t know if he’ll stop calling, or I’ll discover something about him I don’t like, or one of us will meet someone else who’s just a little more compatible.
It’s too soon to tell and I really need to remind myself that as much as I may want to, I can’t tell you guys about every little thing. Talking about BAD dates would be okay, but if I talk about GOOD dates, and then it doesn’t work out with that person, the next guy who comes along is almost certain to be the one who finds my blog and reads all about the guy who came before him.
Some people may say, well, who cares? So what if the new guy finds out that you enjoyed the company of someone who came before him? To that I say: true, that’s a good point. But I wouldn’t find it particularly enjoyable to go to a guy’s blog and read about all the recent hot dates he’s been on. And if I don’t want to read it, then I should respect that on someone else’s part, too.
Or what I could do is simply drop certain news into an otherwise boring paragraph, so a non-regular reader who might just be skimming through would be less likely to notice it. Something like this, for instance: “Today I went to the grocery store. I bought peaches. I’m going to make peach pie for dessert tonight. Then I’m going to feed the peach pie to a hot fireman.”
That’s subtle enough, right?
22 Comments
You’re to funny Zan!!! I’m glad you had fun:) peach pies sounds yummy!
After my very non-anonymous blog was read by some nasty girls from college I learned my lesson about sharing too much. Or at least about making sure that I never write something I wouldn’t say to someone directly. That was a lesson I only had to learn once. I think the lesson applies here too.
Why not bundle a bunch of experiences under a theme? For instance, how bout: “Good Things Concerning Food While Dating” and “Not So Good Things Concerning Food While Dating”. Who knows, it could give the public servant some ideas
My rule is bad dates and potentials. However, I have two potentials right now that I don’t want to jinx myself so I won’t be discussing them. I like talking about funny emails and bad profiles. Thats about it………….
um…i don’t even like peach pie but i’d eat the whole thing if it meant i got to go out with a hot fireman! yummmy!! have fun with that one.
Congrats on that whole Google-mastering thing — being the number one result is exciting!!!
And as for the fireman….rawr is right.
I think it sounds like a good approach
I try to keep details about my dating life off of my blog. Just safer that way. Probably less interesting for my readers though haha.
Peach pie, huh? I write about my honey on my blog, but I try to reserve the REALLY personal stuff for password-protected and private posts. I don’t see anything wrong with letting a little detail slip into your blog, though.
haha! see? even without directly saying it, there’s subtle lust all over this post! I made the mistake of giving too many details of my relationship and my blog turned into a break-up blog, definitely not what I intended. And oh, the gossip spread like a wild fire. It’s good to be so conscious of how you approach this. Some may even call it deliberate
Alison: “Subtle lust?” That is a GREAT term…
HA…I think it might get hidden in the paragraph, but perhaps the italics aren’t such a good idea?!
hehe
Of the dating blogs I’ve read, most just kind of lump things together…snipits of good stuff and the highlights from the bad ones. I don’t imagine if it’s bad you’ll be having more than one date, and look at it this way…if they google you, then at least they will know what NOT to do!
~K
You must share some of the details! But, I agree it would be scary if one of the guys read it…..
Really hope you meet that fireman! My housemate dated a policeman through the internet and that was quite exciting too… we had lots of handcuff jokes for a while there.
I think italicizing the key sentence is definitely the best way to make it subtle.
Leah: Yes, I thought italicizing the key sentence was a pretty nice touch myself!
A hot fireman? Nice! I’m semi-anonymous on my blog–I don’t make any particular effort to hide my name, but I don’t have it posted on my website either. I think your strategy is definitely wise for someone who’s totally non-anonymous. And I agree–I wouldn’t want to read about my husband’s former dates either!
You are too funny. And I think you have something for firemen…
Damn. Carl Sagan beats me on Google by a long shot:)
The online dating thing is tricky when you’re a famous blogger! Your dilemma is certainly understandable though. Even so, I hope that later on somewhere down the road we get to hear about your experiences:)
I love you.
(and hot firemen but that’s not important right now)
you crack me the hell up.
Just don’t tell them what a good time you had with me; no need to make them jealous. You also need not mention my bad breath or my dirty socks, you know?
On another twisted note, For the first time ever on your current template, I can see it pretty much straight. I accessed it through the new (to me) Blog List page-element. I hope it is a repeatable event, but I won’t hold my breath. Don’t hold yours, either–dirty socks or no!!!
durn. was hoping for some online date gossip….sigh….you’re right, a blow by blow dissection of that date with the hot fireman and the peach pie would so not be good reading…..rawr.
You’re hilarious. And I’m sure you’ll strike a good balance. I was actually wary about writing about my current beau because what happens if we break up? Is it bad to go back and delete posts?
You’re too funny! I’m guessing the fireman never came since you used the pears for your salad