(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)
I admit it. It’s one of the things I make sure to look at when I’m scrolling through someone’s online dating profile. It’s not the first thing I look for — photos, height, and the way they describe themselves come first — but yes, I do take note of a person’s astrological sign. I don’t live by my daily horoscope and I wouldn’t entirely discount someone with an incompatible sign if I liked everything else about them. But I do take a look.
On the online dating site I use, I’ve noticed that some men choose not to display their astrological sign. I don’t think it’s a matter of being ultra-conscientious about identity/privacy issues (are they worried about someone guessing their birth date within a 30-day range?). I can only hypothesize that some people choose not to display their sign because they don’t want women factoring it into their decision-making process about whether to make contact with them or not.
As a Gemini, the only astrological sign I’m opposed to dating is a Scorpio. Read any romance/compatibility report — our signs don’t work well together. I also happened to have a huge crush on a Scorpio during my junior and senior years of high school. He consumed my little teenage heart — I would stare at him longingly during the one class we had together; I convinced myself when he occasionally met my gaze that he was doing so because he secretly liked me. I think I even called his house and hung up on him a few times. (This was ‘96-’97, when you could still get away with these things, before Caller ID. Or at least before Caller ID had reached rural Buckingham county, Virginia.)
I was dismayed when I borrowed a book from a friend on astrology, and learned of mine and my crush’s romantic incompatibility. I didn’t let it stop me, though! I knew — just knew — that if given a chance, we could beat the odds and make it work. (Ah, the idealistic logic of a 16-year-old.) I was never given that chance, and I’m sure it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he was a popular, good-looking basketball player and I…well, I wasn’t in a corresponding clique.
So basically, Scorpios are out. It’s a holdover emotion from my tender high-school years, coupled with the fact that our signs are not known to work well together. It has happened a few times — especially when I’m not blown away by someone’s online profile right away — that I’ve noticed someone is a Scorpio and I felt entirely justified in clicking away, never to return (poor Scorpios).
I know there are exceptions to every rule, and I’m sure there are plenty of people with incompatible signs who are living happily ever after — but it does make me wonder. I wonder if a couple who has issues because they aren’t compatible astrologically would get along better with someone who has a more compatible sign. It seems to me like it would play a part. A woman who is fun-loving and chipper might not match very well with a man whose temperament is dark and brooding. A man who loves to travel might clash with a woman who can relate to her sign’s tendency to stick close to home.
I wonder how many people think about this. I wonder if there’s ever been a study about people who are married or in long-term relationships, whether they stay together or separate, and what their astrological signs are. It would be interesting to see if there’s any correlation.
Do you take someone’s astrological sign into consideration before you date them? Are you currently with someone that you know is a compatible or incompatible sign? If so, do you think it plays a role in how well you get along (or don’t)?
Related Reading:
At Dating Scene, Karina talks about sign compatibility and asks, Is it for you?
Urban Panther is a Gemini like me, and asks the same kinds of questions in her post: Do you put any stock in your zodiac sign? Would you look up a potential partner’s sign to see if your signs are compatible?
Miss March says she has a “dating website addiction.” One of the things she makes sure to check on a person’s profile is their astrological sign.
19 Comments
I’ve never looked at a potential or current boyfriend’s astrological sign. I don’t even know what traits I – as a pisces – am supposed to possess. Now I’m going to have to check.
Tihi… You got me curious and I had to check for myself and boyfriend. Apparently we’re a perfect match according to that site you linked to.
I’ve never cared about anyone’s astrological sign when it comes to dating or making friends. I have, however, noticed that I get along with almost every Gemini I encounter, and according to the site again, that’s also a perfect match for me…
I’m a believer in astrology and the roles it plays in relationships. Perhaps it’s my own predisposed beliefs that play into this role, but more often than not I find that signs I am not compatible with do not work out where as signs I am compatible with have a certain…um…quality about them. I am a Libra, I get along with most signs, but there are my select few that are a bit more temptuous. I have never discounted it – even with the hub and it worked well for me.
~K
I have never paid attention to such signs and do not put too much importance to them. In fact, I am really bad at remembering birthdays but, I must admit that when I do compare previous relationships or even compatibility with acquaintances, they are often right.
Some men might not reveal their signs because they don’t believe in it, too. Putting it on there does suggest that you place importance in it.
I check my horoscopes constantly, but firmly believe them to be crap. How’s that for weird? Also, as Leo, EVERY one of my long term relationships has been with a Scorpio (okay, excepting the one Taurus). Both those signs? Supposedly incompatible with Leos.
I don’t, nor do any of the men I know, use astrological signs as a way to forecast relationships. We do, however, use other signs.
I think it’s funny to look, but I totally don’t think it’s a big deal. It’s definitely been very off before. I feel like if I just look at my sign’s traits alone, some are on and some are off. Eh. I’d rather see the other things they have to say.
I don’t know about studies about relationships, in particular, but there are a number of studies showing that astrology has no predictive value, and that any effects appear to come from confirmation bias.
Here’s an example, a study published in “Nature” in 1985:
http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v318/n6045/pdf/318419a0.pdf
Unfortunately, it’s behind a paywall, but it’s worth a read if you can find someone with a subscription, or if you’re willing to pay for the article (I have a printed copy).
I think that astrological signs tell a lot about someone! But, on the other hand, some people don’t believe in them. Birthday’s are a great indicator of people.
Love this post.
Thanks for the link-up!
Miss March
I’ve never specifically looked for it, but I’ve noticed some trends over the years. I’m also a Gemini, and Scorpio has been badd for me too. Aquarius and Libra have worked well (hubby is a Libra). Sagittarius works on a platonic level, but not a romantic one. It’s kind of interesting… Like you, I wouldn’t make any decisions based on astrology, but I think it’s fun to read about it and speculate!
i don’t always follow it or believe it all but it definitely interesting to check out astrology comparisons in the dating world
i had a guy on match.com once contact me, he was very enthusiastic about wanting to know more about me, etc. he seemed like someone i’d want to meet, so i emailed him back, and a few days later i got a response from him that said “sorry, i just noticed you’re a leo.” i was blown away that someone would really use that as criteria if there was an initial attraction. on the other hand, maybe he was just a flake!
*laugh* I am with Kate above that I daily read my horoscope and then laugh at the ridiculous things that it says. I always thought it would be fun to write horoscopes.
I never knew my sign before college and don’t know too much about it but I have to say I clicked the link in your post to look at the sign compatibility and it pretty much described my boyfriend’s and my relationship to a tee, weird!
i’m a gemini too. i really don’t care about a guy’s sign, except that if a guy is a scorpio i find that attractive. the exact opposite of you!
I personally wouldn’t list my zodiac sign because I don’t believe in astrology. Maybe some of the guys on dating websites don’t believe in it either?
Nope, never even gave it a thought.. I think I was more stuck on the fact that guys would do it to protect anonymity. I guess that since I don’t even bother with or contemplate it (and pretty much feel that it is there for the protection/comfort of the women). I guess the only reason that even comes to mind is if they were embarrassed to be using Online Dating, though I guess I just feel that the stigma has disappeared so much it is not really worth noting anymore.
Maybe that’s just the Leo in me
I’ve always had a fringe interest in signs…probably more interesting to me when I was in my teens. I did get a kick out of knowing my sign’s traits. Finally, an explanation of me!
Now, I don’t read horoscopes and usually secretly smirk when I see a friend devouring anything astrological in nature. I have no idea if my sign is compatible with my husband’s. I am not even sure if I could name his correctly. With that said I did learn this…a boyfriend who is Gemini is never a good thing.
Years ago I used to totally do full on astrological chart readings on my potential dates. I did the full sun, moon, rising, venus, and mars compatibility as it would show you were you’d have your strengths and challenges as a couple. Nowadays, the most important sign for me is “Emotionally available for you.”
Two Leo’s are supposed to be a recipe for disaster. My aunt is an astologist and she said it’d never work for me and Dominic cuz….yes, we are both Leo’s. I always stayed away from dating a Leo. And now look, my soulmate is a Leo. Oh and we both vote opposite too in politics. It’s still the best relationship and most natural and happy relationship ever.