(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)
The dating experience can be described in a lot of different ways. It doesn’t matter if you’re a self-described dating pro with twenty years of experience, or if you’ve been dating for two years, or only a few months. After you’ve been on a few dates — and also after you’ve heard and read about other people’s experiences — you’re going to have your own opinions about what dating is.
(When I talk about “dating,” I don’t mean dating one person exclusively, where you have an understanding that you’re only seeing each other. If you have that kind of mutual understanding, you’re in a relationship. I’m talking about dating multiple people, whether it’s through an online dating site, or speed-dating, or having friends set you up.)
The fill-in-the-blank opinion of “Dating is…” will be different for everyone, and it can change depending on your mood. Not only is it different for everyone, but dating is bound to introduce you to a range of emotions. Look at it this way. Is dating something you really enjoy? Or do you only see it as a means to an end?
One day I might say, “Tra-la-la! Dating is wonderful. Who will call next? Will it be Sam? Billy? Peter?” (Note: names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.)
Another day I might say, “Grumble-grumble. Dating is frustrating. Why does Timmy send me text messages at 2am on a weekend but he’s too busy during the week to hang out?”
Depending on my mood, I might decide to go out with three different people in one week. (Check…but that was only one week, and I found it kind of stressful.) Some people you’ll end up seeing only one time, while you might go out with others on a number of occasions before one or the other of you decides it’s not working out.
Dating can sometimes seem like a game, even if you’re not the type of person who’s looking for a game — you still have to play. A lot of people get tired of it and get out. I’ve heard from a number of people, both online and in person, who told me they used to do online dating but stopped for that very reason.
When you meet new people, it’s nothing like the comfort of being with someone you already know well. Even though it can be new and exciting and potentially stomach-fluttering, it can also be nerve wracking.
For me, dating is a lot of things. I’ve enjoyed some parts of it, but not others. It’s what I expected, but some things I could do without. I think I’d kinda like it if I were to meet someone who’d be able to convince me to stop looking.
Related Reading:
What Liz Said: Dating is absurd.
DC Femella: Dating can be a dreaded task.
S.G. Loughlin: Dating is weird (especially when you receive the “Worst Pickup Line Ever”).
Megan at Jezebel: Dating is about making yourself an open book (if you’re Googleable, that is).
Bahar Takhtehchian: Dating is a cross-cultural experience (when foreign parents don’t understand the purpose of dating).
13 Comments
to me Dating is “unknown”, at least so far :)
I definitely agree. It’s, (e) – All of the above. Depends on your mood, success and even more abstract things.
It can be exciting to go on date, to meet this new woman, to have all your stories be fresh and amusing. Or it can be another chore, where you tell the same stories, relate your life, yet again, on the faint hope that you will click (that you get that (seemingly rare) situation where both parties are interested in each other and there is something more to explore).
But you keep doing it, on the hope that the next date will be the last one you need (or the first of many with the same person). Where you find that woman who “gets you”, and whom you “get.”
Dating is… not for me, right now.
I needs to be single for a while!
(…however, I might be persuaded by chocolate, flowers, or jewelry… hahaha).
Hope you’re having fun with your dating experiences:)
I really enjoyed online dating precisely because I DIDN’T see it as a way to actually meet somebody special. I’d just come out of a relationship so I did it more for a confidence boost than anything else and it definitely fitted the bill! It also taught me what I DIDN’T want in a partner, which was invaluable. And it improved my social/ small-talk skills no end.
I would advise anybody embarking on dating to not take it too seriously – enjoy it for what it is!
(I did the three different dates in a week thing too – got tired pretty quick!)
TA x
I loved it (at times) and am honestly shocked anew every day that Ive found the man who has me NO LONGER LOOKING.
I never thought I would
and 14 years later I still dont.
dating is mostly stressful to me. I have a hard time starting things with more than one person (what if I like them both? how will I decide? argh!). heck, I sometimes even feel guilty if I’m still going on dates even if I really like one person better than the others, but you don’t want to cut off potential until something develops with that one person.
I mean, there are fun parts. I enjoy the giddiness of starting to fall for someone. It’s fun the first time you hold hands or kiss. But, ultimately? nervewracking.
as an aside, I’m starting to see someone ;-) we met via okcupid. it’s quite promising, and I think we’re moving to the stage where we won’t be seeing other people. so yay for dating despite being nervewracking!
Dating is a kaleidoscope of confusing clarity!
Dating is… getting reinvented for me right now. Having been married for almost 10 years (!!), hubby and I are trying to figure out how to date each other again;)
… a necessary evil. I’m much more of a relationship kind of girl. Doesn’t always fall that way though.
You’ll get there Zandria…you’ll get there… Mr. Right is out there – don’t settle for Mr. Half-Right, or Mr. Wrong.
I’ll be honest. Having to date again scares the shit out of me.
I hope there are more ‘fun’ than ‘frustrating’ nights ahead for you!
I hope you meet the man of your dreams really, really soon.
Dating is so much stress to me..mainly, because I hate the pretense and I hate the waiting!
BLAH!
I wish I knew of a way to snap me out of that mindset, though…especially since I’m going through a dry spell of sorts, and well, it would be nice to meet people, again. :)