(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)
The only major end-of-year holiday (I’m including both Thanksgiving and Christmas) that I haven’t spent with at least one family member was Christmas 2004. I was at the tail end of spending a semester abroad in Amsterdam and I had a ticket to fly back to the States a few days later. I spent most of that day walking around the city, and I saw a musical performance at a beautiful church in Dam Square. It was nice, but I’d been there for five months by that time and I was ready to go home.
Some women like to take vacations alone. I’ve done this several times (the most notable solo trip being three days in London when I was doing that semester abroad, and I’ve driven by myself across the U.S. a few times), but usually I’m meeting up with someone once I arrive at my destination. Compared to women who really have traveled the world, the few trips I’ve taken by myself don’t seem very substantial.
There are a number of advantages to traveling by yourself. The most obvious? You’re the one making the decisions about where you want to go and what you want to see. You don’t have to worry about asking your friend or significant other if they’re interested in the same destination you want to go to, or if you want to see the same things once you get there. If you want to linger in front of a statue for 15 minutes, there’s nobody to stop you or sigh in boredom. You’re not being pulled or hurried along. (But on the down side, unless you’re the type of person who enjoys striking up conversations with random strangers, there’s a real possibility you might miss having someone to talk to.)
Even though a lot of women are taking solo trips, I would think the number of women who specifically take a vacation over Thanksgiving or Christmas would be smaller than other times during the year. Personally, even though I would take a trip by myself, I wouldn’t purposefully book it to take place over the holiday season. I get along very well with my family, and most of my immediate family members live within a few hours drive. On top of that, I only get to see some of my aunts and cousins a few times a year (Thanksgiving and Christmas being included in that total). So if I were to stay away, that’s just one less time I’d get to see some people that I think are pretty cool individuals.
That being said, if a woman really wants to go somewhere and she doesn’t care what time of year it is, traveling alone during the holidays (or anytime else) is perfectly acceptable and should be encouraged. The few times I’ve had a female friend tell me they were going on a solo vacation, I’ve responded, “Good for you! That’s awesome. I should really do that, too.”
I know I’ve been guilty of putting off trips because I didn’t want to go alone, while the truth is I’d probably have a grand old time if I actually went through with it. And if I decided to take that trip over a holiday, I’m sure my family would be a little disappointed but they certainly wouldn’t be upset or disown me over it. Sometimes you just have to do what’s best for you.
Have you ever taken a trip by yourself? Did it take place over a major holiday? If you haven’t done so, would you?
Related Reading:
Francisca Kellett quotes a report by Travelsupermarket that says one in nine women never take a vacation because they don’t have a man to go away with.
Christine Koehler discusses solo travel in historical terms, including how it used to be taboo for women to travel by themselves.
Natalie Walsh: Why are single women missing out on holidays? “A new survey reveals that many single women are not taking holidays because they are reluctant to travel alone.”
Judy Lees: Solo travel works best if you have a focus
MSNBC: Singles getaways: Best places to travel solo
Onely highlights a fun site for singles called SoloTravel
CSTN [Connecting: Solo Travel Network] “is a not-for-profit, international organization of individuals interested in sharing going-solo tips, news about single-friendly trips, and in promoting hospitality and good will among solo travelers everywhere.”
Thelma & Louise “is an online community of women worldwide which enables members to meet like-minded women, find travel companions and fulfil their aspirations.”
19 Comments
Before I got married, I traveled solo. I didn’t know anyone who had enough money and/or interest in traveling with me, and many people were just plain scared. It was a great learning experience, and I’d love to travel solo again at some point. It’s different than traveling solo in your own country, state, or city, but it’s also very much the same. You have to motivate yourself to go out and meet people and do things that couples and groups do. But I’ve also found that the same fears and anxieties that plague me here follow me around the world, so learning to deal with them is part of the journey. I’ve never traveled on a holiday, but I visited Spain, Portugal, and Morocco right before Christmas. In Spain and Portugal, every week there were bank holidays and saint holidays so many places were closed.
Yes, I have taken trips by myself and No, I wouldn’t purposefully do it over the holidays. I have been away during the holidays, but it was for reasons out of my control and I will admit it isn’t bad – it just isn’t the same without family around.
~K
I love traveling alone- there’s something so nice about it! But I don’t think I’d ever do it over the holidays. I’m really close with my family and so it just wouldn’t make any sense.
A big problem with traveling alone is harassment. Italy and Turkey are both INSANE for the harassment women receive. Even when I had guys around me in Italy, they still stared openly and such. I am dying to go to Egypt but first I need to find someone to go with me because the stories I’ve heard are just awful of how harassed North American women are there…
I traveled alone to Texas last year, and while the trip itself was fine, I don’t plan to travel alone again anytime soon. The bottom line is that I just don’t feel safe traveling alone.
I have traveled alone several times and loved it and would do it again. But I would never travel alone during the holidays – to me the holidays are all about being with friends and family. :)
I’ve never traveled alone, and probably wouldn’t do so over the holidays. I do like the thought, though! I like having someone to talk to and share the experience with, so I’m torn. Maybe next vacation I’ll take 1/2 alone and 1/2 to meet up with a friend to tell them about it.
I once spent a Christmas in Germany with a hot female friend of mine. It was one of the best Christmases ever.
this is a very relevant question for me, bcause i try to avoid thanksgiving as much as possible by leaving the country. however, i don’t feel like i can do it alone. i have no problem traveling alone in general, i just feel like traveling alone during the holidays is a slight to your family who would want you to travel to see them instead of going somewhere else alone. it seems like an intentional slight on them. whereas traveling with someone else seems to me an acceptable reason to miss a family holiday.
I’ve traveled far more alone than I have with a companion, and I now find it much more difficult to travel with another person than solo since I’m not used to making compromises.
I’ve spent as long as five months (in Southeast Asia a few years ago) traveling alone, and while it can get to be painfully lonely, I also think it’s a really valuable experience for any woman (or man, for that matter) to try. It can be scary, even dangerous (I’ve been threatened/attacked – but never seriously harmed – in at least three countries), but also incredibly empowering.
That said, I wouldn’t choose to travel alone over the holidays – I once spent a lonely Christmas in Bangkok far from family and friends, and it was pretty tough. In my mind, the holidays are for being close to the people you care about, and unless you’re trying to avoid/escape that closeness, I wouldn’t recommend it.
I haven’t really traveled anywhere on a vacation alone, although I did move overseas alone, and that was an interesting challenge. But yes, to answer your question, I would travel alone and was actually thinking just last night that this year, I’m taking a vacation. Even if it means alone. I do sometimes miss the companionship, but overall, I don’t mind doing things alone. There’s a certain dignity to it…
I’ve thought for years I would LOVE to take a really exotic vacation all by my lonesome. I think it would be such a blast, some REAL alone time, doing whatever you want, forcing yourself to mingle with the locals… it sounds DEE VINE.
I’d do it in a hot second.
I am jaleous of women (or of people, for instance) who can travel alone because I hate that and it really makes me anxious. I have to, sometimes, for work. Taking a plane, a taxi or driving a few hundreds miles.
It’s scary and stressing to me.
I call that the Bridget Jones syndrome: I feel I am gonna die alone and will be eaten by my german shepherd dogs because nobody will notice :-)
(and I don’t even have a dog)
So, unfortunately, no, not for me…
I did my first solo trip to europe when i was 29. I was so freaked on day one in paris, but then i kind of got used to things and always met new people along the way.
I traveled by myself to new zealand in 2001 but i was meeting an REI group there, so I’m not sure if that counts.
I prefer traveling with other people, or at least like the REI trip knowing I’ll have people I’m supposed to meet, but I wouldn’t let traveling alone stop me from going someplace I really wanted to go.
When I was abroad besides actually traveling to my city, I didn’t travel alone. The only city I have explored on my own has been DC. I fell in love. :) It’s lonely though. After like the second day, you think ‘why didn’t I get someone to come with me?’
I wouldn’t travel alone for the holidays. The only holidays I’ve ever missed has been last years Christmas since I was new on the job and didn’t want to leave… and the last years and this years Thanksgiving. I too really like my family though so it feels a little weird not being with them.
I travel quite a bit by myself, and even though I enjoy the freedom, I miss having somebody to talk to over dinner, or laugh with about what happened that day. A lot of women either don’t feel comfortable traveling solo, or don’t enjoy it.
The reason I founded Adventurous Wench was because of single women in this situation. They don’t have anybody to travel with, and they don’t like traveling on their own.
We’ve gotten some customer requests to create trips over the holidays, but demand is low so we’re not running any at this time. Most people still want to spend the holidays with family — then take off for the Caribbean in Jan or Feb!
For you ladies considering traveling solo around the world (RTW), you should check out these three websites: Me-Go, Brooke vs. the World, and Malena RTW. This last one is about a women traveling around the world looking for candy! As they’re all women traveling solo, they should offer some inspiration for those interested… and a few good stories at a bare minimum. Google ‘em or check the link section on my site.
Haven’t and probably wouldn’t unless it was just perfect timing, or free or something, lol. Even then, I wouldn’t purposefully go on vacation by myself. A.) it’s lonely, B.) it’s dangerous. It’s dangerous for anyone, male or female.
I don’t have to be home for Christmas but I think I’d get all mopey on Christmas Eve and Christmas day if everything was closed because *everyone* else is at home with their families.
That said, if the vacation was at a resort or some place that doesn’t ‘close’ to celebrate, I’d probably be fine.
I really like traveling by myself (I get to do whatever I want, whenever I want!). But I’d have to think twice about going over a major holiday. Christmas is one time where my brothers and I know we are expected to be with our family, and my older brother only missed one Christmas during his years in the Marines (boot camp).
Thanksgiving, Easter, and other holidays might be fine for traveling solo. Might be fun, even — I think it’d be neat to wander around quiet cities on Thursday when most people are presumably home. But I still don’t think I’ll intentionally travel solo on these holidays; if it happens, fine. If it doesn’t, then I’ll find some other time to take my solo trips :-)
I’ll do a lot of things solo… movies, nice expensive dinners, concerts… I don’t think I could travel solo though. Don’t know why, but it just seems to be a smidge past my okay comfort zone. I *might* cave on it though if I really wanted to go somewhere and no one would go with me. I’ve been pretty patient thus far on my must-see list in hopes that I’ll be able to knock some of those off over the next several years. No rush!