Does Having Unrealistic Expectations Keep You From Achieving Your Goals?

(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)

If you’ve ever made fitness goals and looked for advice on how to keep them, you’ve undoubtedly seen the phrase “Set realistic expectations.” The problem is, doesn’t it sort of cause your eyes to glaze over? That’s what happens to me when I read it. When we hear the same advice over and over, and we already know it’s true, and we take it for granted, there’s no way it can continue to have the same impact as it once did.

When it comes to making changes in our fitness routine — whether the goal is to lose weight, get stronger, lose inches, or all of the above — unless we’ve undertaken some kind of super hard-core training regimen, there’s no way we’re going to see drastic results simply because we’ve been eating a little less and moving a little more. This is why, just a little over a month into the new year, people are already starting to loosen up a bit on those original fitness goals.

The thing is, for most people in most everyday situations, there’s no such thing as quick results. A recent New York Times article spoke to that fact:

“To make a change in how you look, you are talking about a significant period of training,” [kinesiology professor] Dr. Kraemer said. “In our studies it takes six months to a year.” And, he added, that is with regular strength-training workouts, using the appropriate weights and with a carefully designed individualized program. “That is what the reality is,” he said.

If you give up too soon, you’re doing yourself a disservice. After all, if results were so easy to accomplish, wouldn’t everyone be doing it? We’d all walk around looking like the models on the covers of fitness magazines — six-pack abs, taut thighs, and perfectly toned arms. But where’s the glory in easy achievement? At least the people who successfully reach their fitness goals can look back on the long hours spent in a gym, or running on a sidewalk, or doing whatever activity they choose, and know for sure that they earned their results.

In addition to unrealistic expectations, there’s also the opposite problem: being overly realistic. This tends to be my problem. What I mean is, since I’m pretty happy with how things are right now, it’s easier to talk myself out of making the extra effort that would be required to reach a higher fitness level. A good example that comes to mind is #11 on my 101 Things list: Do at least 1 unassisted pull-up.

Because I look at things so realistically, my mind rationalizes that this goal might not be a possibility — and it doesn’t help when I read stuff online about how females have less upper-body strength than men, and most of us will never be able to pull up our body weight (or will have to work a lot harder at it). I’ve even had former military-men tell me that while males have to perform a certain number of pull-ups to meet physical requirements, females are judged on how long they’re able to maintain a flexed-arm hang.

So in my case, what I need to do is stop being so realistic (otherwise known as “talking myself out of something that seems difficult to accomplish”). Because you see, when I’ve just about reached the point where I can tell myself that I don’t really need to be able to perform a pull-up, someone comes along and tells me to get over myself already. Of course I can. Stop making excuses.

One thing I’ve learned is, if you want to see results you have to do it yourself. No matter what you use as your motivation, you’re the one who has to do the work, and you have to do it for yourself — not anyone else.

How are you guys doing? Are you achieving the goals you set in January? What are your stumbling blocks?

Related Reading:

Melissa at Fitness NYC talks about the importance of realistic expectations in the context of eating raw foods.

Kelly from Every Gym’s Nightmare wrote a guest-post on Back in Skinny Jeans that referenced unrealistic expectations. She says, “As a personal trainer, day in and day out I have to battle client mind sets of The Biggest Loser weight loss results, fad diets and unrealistic expectations of transforming their bodies with very little work.”

Weak Fitness believes in setting realistic expectations and says that fitness is a “great equalizer.”

Kelly from Fitness Fixation says “Change Your Body In Six Weeks! It’s Crap!”

7 Comments



  1. What a great subject. I have such High expectation for myself that sometimes I over do it. But being realist with yourself is the key. I have been on my journey now for 9 mths and yes I see results do I see what I really want no – it just makes me work harder.

    Mara
    http://24stepstogo.blogspot.com/

    Posted February 3, 2009 at 1:38 pm #
  2. For the RCMP, men are required to RUN FASTER than women in the fitness test. To me, that’s just ridiculous. There is absolutely no reason why a woman shouldn’t be able to keep up with a man in running.

    Agreed, men tend to have stronger upper body strength. But, that just means women have to put in a little more effort- not that it’s impossible! You can do it :D

    Posted February 3, 2009 at 3:49 pm #
  3. I don’t have as specific of a goal this year since I knocked mine off last year when I dropped 35-40 pounds between 1/1/08 and now. For me, it’s more of a build up endurance while running thing. But I also want to focus on upper body more too. Maybe that’s a new goal.

    Posted February 3, 2009 at 4:38 pm #
  4. Interesting points, Zan. I do much better if I set what I feel are almost unrealistic expectations. I feel like I actually have to prove myself wrong!

    When I decided to do a half-marathon (even though I hadn’t run in years!), I went ahead and paid the entry fee as motivation and wrote about it on my blog. I plan on being able to do 100 consecutive military push-ups by the year-end, even though I can only do about 15 right now. I started the Slim in 6 workout program, and I’m going to stick with it, even if only out of stubborness. It really is different for everyone, isn’t it? Motivation. I think my biggest motivations right now are: (i) my health (seriously), (ii) the new beau, and (iii) the fact that I blog the crap out of it. :)

    Posted February 3, 2009 at 5:26 pm #
  5. My expectation as I start turning over a new “healthy” leaf:

    Don’t drink an entire bottle of wine in one night.

    Not sure if that’s realistic or not…

    Posted February 3, 2009 at 7:53 pm #
  6. Hi Zandria,
    I say – keep at it – you CAN do that pull up! I know you can!

    That said – I need to stay focused, myself, on my fitness goals. I’m doing so-so, and I’m taking this as a reminder today to get out there and keep at it. Thank you!

    Posted February 4, 2009 at 6:28 am #
  7. I didnt set goals per se BUT no.

    Im not nailing the chickenbus on my vision board at all…yet.

    Posted February 5, 2009 at 7:24 am #

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