(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)
I find Valentine’s Day amusing. What other holiday elicits such a wide range of opinions, a perfect topic for numerous articles and blog posts? (V-Day isn’t the only holiday taking place around this time, but people aren’t lamenting or exclaiming nearly as much over President’s Day.)
As for me, I’m ambivalent about it — and I like it that way. I’ve never had a horribly good or horribly bad Valentine’s Day, so I don’t have anything to look back and compare it to. There are no highs or lows; I have no expectations.
I’ve spent a few V-days with girlfriends, but I don’t specifically seek out my friends on this day. I don’t send text messages, V-day cards, or even e-card greetings (although I will acknowledge their receipt if one is given to me). My (single, female) roommate and I were hanging out in our apartment yesterday morning and neither one of us thought to say “Happy Valentine’s Day” to the other.
Having said that, I do like reading what women have to say about Valentine’s Day because the viewpoints are always so different. Some of the writers are single, some are not; some women love the holiday, while others despise it. I like that there’s a fresh crop of these posts every year because there’s always something new to add.
Even though An OC Girl has been part of a couple for the past four Valentine’s Days, she still gets annoyed when she sees certain advertisements that are geared toward single ladies. One example is an AOL ad for a dating website that features a woman sitting beside a cat.
I haven’t clicked [on the ad] because I refuse to contribute to the increased traffic to that site. However, what’s wrong with having your cat as your Valentine’s date? Cats are loving and affectionate. Yeah, they don’t buy you flowers, but flowers die any way. A kitty’s love is furever! If I were single, I would prefer to stay at home with my cats rather than go on some random blind date from a guy on a website who lied in his profile just so I wouldn’t be ‘alone’ on Valentine’s Day. Bad move, anonymous dating website!
However, I also hate the implication that cat people are single. Are crazy dog people assumed to be single? Oh wait. There are no crazy dog people. It’s just people who own cats in multiples that are crazy. I’m a crazy cat lady and I have a partner! How’s that for debunking stereotypes? Take THAT, anonymous dating website!
As a single woman, Suzanne (writing for a group blog called Boundless Line) says Gotta Love Valentine’s Day. She said she’s loved it “since I was a little kid putting conversation hearts in tiny envelopes and passing them out to my classmates, so I’m not going to let my single status prevent me from enjoying it!” However, she’s noticed a trend when it comes to casual dating around this time of year.
[W]e’ve entered what is probably the most awkward week for a budding relationship. It’s always unnerving when you hit that “I-think-we-may-like-each-other” moment in the days leading up to Valentine’s Day. I mean, you don’t want the instant pressure of the “love holiday” entering an already delicate equation. I’ve noticed most guys will kind of get real quiet a little before February 14 and then pick things back up the following week.
In response to a male-authored post called Boycott Valentine’s Day!, Cassy Fiano asks, Is Valentine’s Day an anti-male holiday? Her response to him is: “Wow, what a bitter assclown.”
Celebrating Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be some extravagant show of love and romance. But yes, I do believe that couples should celebrate it, in whatever way is most romantic to them. That doesn’t necessarily mean going the 1-800-FLOWERS route of roses and chocolates, but boycotting Valentine’s Day altogether just because you find it unfair is, in my opinion, ridiculous. What Valentine’s Day really boils down to is celebrating the love you have for your significant other. If you find that so bad, then I think the problem is with you, and not the holiday.
Jenni Hammitt thinks that Valentine’s Day is “super lame.”
Maybe I’m the exception to the rule, but I just do not see why we buy into all of this. I think that at its inception, the holiday was a great idea. However, commercial greed took over and now it is this pink and red monster assailing pocketbooks, checking accounts and unwitting consumers each day. February 14 will just be another Saturday to me. I will go to work. I will spend time with my friends. That alone will make me happy.
Kate Trgovac writes about anti-Valentine’s Day trends, including tips for “Surviving Valentine’s Day.”
Personally, I’m pretty ambivalent. I didn’t HATE it when I was single and I don’t LOVE it now that I’m in a relationship. It’s nice that people acknowledge the significant-other in their lives, however, I do think it is extremely commercial and, in these economic and environmentally-aware times, a little wasteful.
Writing at wowowow, Kathryn Bild says, Alone on Valentine’s Day? Au Contraire!
My friend, Karen, has invited me and a few other of our single women friends to spend Valentine’s Day together. That’s cool, but I don’t want to. I’d like to want to, but I don’t. I don’t want to go out and celebrate how great it is to be single. [...] So I’m going to decline Karen’s invitation, because I don’t want to celebrate being in any marital or non-marital clique or social set, distinct and set apart from the whole. Because I’m not, really. None of us is. We are individuals…
Korinna wrote Chronicles of a Single Lady on Valentine’s Day, and said the day wasn’t as bad as she expected.
On the way to the MRT, I passed by girls with bouquets of flowers and matching doe-eyed faces, with their significant others whose arms are around their waist. Good for them.
As for yours truly, of course there weren’t any flowers. There were chocolates, but only because those were part of a birthday gift rationed among the party guests at the latter part of the AWESOMENESS MEGA POOL PARTY which I was a part of.
The Girl from Park Heights gives a shout-out to all her single ladies, saying she likes V-Day “because I think it doesn’t need to be reserved just for lovers, but for friends or anyone you love.” Her message:
Be your own damn Valentine!
What’s your opinion of Valentine’s Day?
Related Reading:
Your Tango: Why It’s Better Not To Have A Valentine (Anne Marie O’Connor says, “You’re likelier to be thinner, happier, and drama-free, if you’re man-free.”)
BlogHer Erin Kotecki Vest talked about her V-Day traditions with her husband in Happy Valentine’s Day…You Big Jerk.
Leah at College Candy had some ideas for sweet treats that don’t take a lot of effort to make. (Mmm…I wish I hadn’t clicked on the link for S’more Brownies.)
12 Comments
I’m also pretty ambivalent about Valentines day. This yeat Josh and I were having so much fun playing wii, that we forgot all about our plans to cook a romantic dinner together. Ended up being the most fun we’ve had together in a long time.
I’m with the “don’t love it nor hate it” camp. Matt had to work this weekend, so I had a lot of time to myself (plus I worked during the day on Saturday). We went to a school play together on Saturday night, and I made him a nice dinner on Sunday night. But we didn’t do either of these things because it was Valentine’s Day; the play was just there, and I’d been meaning to cook the nice dinner and just hadn’t found time.
I think it’s nice to take some time out to celebrate each other. And for some people, it seems like V-Day is necessary. I saw a lot of grizzled farm guys leaving the grocery store with pretty flowers, and that made me really happy. Even when we’re all really busy, it’s a nice time to stop and remind each other that we care.
Plus, I love sending out little kid Valentines :-)
Valentines Day is funny like that with how opinionated people get about it. I just like it because I get to wear red and eat chocolate and spread the love! Bought my mum some flowers and cupcakes from the Cupcakery and seeing how happy she was about it made my day. I think its good to turn the holiday into a love-for-everyone type of day rather than strictly romantic love.
I’ve grown to disregard the holiday much the same way I’ve grown to disregard the superbowl. I like watching the absurd (often funny) commercials and dramas surrounding the big game, and that is about it.
I think it’s a *little* over commercialized, but I really did enjoy reading and hearing stories about how lovers surprise each other this day. I guess you could ask the same questions about Christmas. Overall, I like these days!
I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day and I never have been. You don’t enjoy it while you’re single because you either spend the day wishing you had a significant other or justifying why you don’t need a significant other to make you happy. And you don’t enjoy it when you’re not single because even if you don’t “believe” in the holiday, there’s still this enormous pressure to do something “special”. I must have been asked 4 or 5 times last week if my husband and I were doing anything “special” for Valentine’s Day! (My answer? We’re taking to the dog to the vet and finding a way to cut up the tree that fell in our yard. Special!)
However… I will admit I enjoy the excuse to eat (more) chocolate ;)
i think it’s weird how upset people get about valentine’s day. to me, hating valentine’s day is like hating halloween. i get not caring about it, but i don’t get hating it.
i love valentines day, because i love pink and hearts and sweets and — especially — pink, heart-shaped sweets. i like to play with crayons to make valentines and have an excuse to bring candy to work to share with the office. it’s fun to have a special valentine’s date with your SO if you want to, but if you don’t want to or don’t have a date, who cares? one of my favorite parts of valentines day this year had nothing to do with romantic love — it was the pink polka-dotted chocolate cake that my friend made especially for me.
As I said, there’s nothing wrong with taking a day out to say “I love you” to the lovahs in your life. You don’t have to spend a million dollars to do it. We snuggled on the couch with some greasy take out and movies all day, and it couldn’t have been better.
yeah, we’re not big into V-Da but, i have to say, we’re pretty lovey dovey every day of the year. I’m lucky that my husband is extremely affectionate and we are constantly kissing, hugging and saying i love you. That said, I think many women would love chocolate on V-day – regardless of whether we’re in a relationship or not :-)
wow. thanks for the shout out! i think people should celebrate v-day their own way (including not celebrating it at all). i was sick all weekend and spent v-day in bed. my partner was attentive and made me chicken noodle soup whenever i was hungry. and when i ran out of kleenex, he went to cvs to get me some. the man was conscientious of my snot for chrissakes! if that’s not love, i don’t know what is. :)
We don’t celebrate V-day; I have to say I get pretty spoiled by my guy every day of the year, not in gifts but in affection. He regularly cleans the bathroom and mops the kitchen floor! that’s worth more than any chocolates or roses he could give me.
I don’t mind people who do celebrate it, nor did I when I was single. Just one of those things that’s not my cup of tea.
I’m with the other women that are in relationships that commented – Mr. P and I don’t do anything special, either, it seems too contrived to try to do something romantic just because the world says that’s the day to do it. And I’d rather not receive a dozen roses knowing that every other woman in a relationship is receiving the same thing that day. Where’s the specialness in that? Mr. P and I say “I love you” everyday and I’ve discovered that that love is shown more through simple things like him helping me wash the dishes or him cooking on the weekends without a single complaint. That to me is love. Not flowers and chocolate (although I’ll never refuse chocolate that anyone gives me).