(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)
Dissatisfied, moody, depressed, overly quiet, morose. There are a lot of words and phrases to describe a general state of discontent. In my case, I reach that state of discontentment when all the days starts to feel exactly like the day that preceded it — walking the same routes, seeing the same things, being responsible for turning out the same results over and over again.
People tend to handle discontentment in different ways. Some people choose to do nothing and slog through it; others make small changes to help them insert a little bit of needed variety into their lives; others make major changes, like completely overhauling their job or living location. I’ve had all of these reactions at different points in time.
Admittedly, the major changes, like moving to a new city, or a new country, or getting a new job — those can be exciting. There’s all kinds of planning involved, and anticipation, and then adaptation to a lot of new information, people, and experiences. But often those types of major changes are either not feasible or not entirely welcome (or even necessarily needed).
Like right now, with me. There haven’t been a lot of major changes in my life for a while. I’ll have been at my current job for two years this July. I’ve been living at my current apartment for the past fifteen months. I could do something about both of those things if I really wanted to, but right now I’m choosing to take the middle-ground approach to my feeling of discontentment: make small changes to insert a little bit of needed variety into my life.
I’ve been surprised that changing a few small things can actually make a difference in the way I feel. A simple example would be the times I choose to turn right instead of left and leave one of the Metro stations in D.C. from a different exit (subsequently taking me on a different route through the city’s streets to my workplace in the morning). Even though the route is slightly longer, changing the scenery on occasion makes me feel better.
Other small changes I’ve made in the past few months: switching to a different brand of shampoo after using the same brand for the past few years. Purchasing a dresser for my bedroom after not having one for a while. Saying “yes” to invitations that I might not have done otherwise. Wearing an unexpected splash of color to work instead of the normal, go-to ensembles of black, gray, navy, and other muted tones (or even wearing something a little defiant, but not too overtly so).
I know that doing small things like these won’t necessarily solve any major problems — often discontentment comes from something larger that’s wrong or needs to be resolved. Taking a different route to work hasn’t changed the fact that I’ve been less motivated to write on my blog for the past few months. It hasn’t resolved the feelings of boredom that can envelop me when I’m stuck in the same place for eight hours a day, five days a week. I don’t know if this feeling is due to the time of year, or my interpersonal relationships, or what. It’s probably a combination of all of that.
What does help, though, in addition to making the small changes that keep me from going insane, is knowing that I’ve had these feelings before. Going through a period of discontentment, at least in my case, doesn’t last forever. Something will change for the better, or I’ll get involved in something new, or my mood will brighten along with the weather. Suddenly things are good, and I’m smiling, and the words are flowing once again.
This, too, shall pass.
Related Reading:
Legally Heidi is feeling “overwhelmed, unhappy, unmotivated and just all around blah.”
Deborah at Laughter is the Best Medicine lists the Top 10 reasons I’ve been in a funk all week.
When Karen Hanrahan gets in a funk, she makes pumpkin bread.
15 Comments
“This too shall pass” has been my mantra the past month :) I think a lot of people are going through an end-of-winter funk. I know I am.
I love this…I have been feeling discontent in my job, particularly, for quite some time. Like you, I’m trying to make *little changes* here and there during the week to make it a little less miserable.
I guess people find themselves in funks all of the time…just in different ways. I myself am hoping the spring weather will help me out of my job funk, at least for now. :-)
I’ve been feeling that way for a while. I think spring and sunshine will help us all.
… sounds like a little vacation to a sunny island is the perfect solution …
I agree with Foxy – I need sun and a beach STAT! I am in still in my funk as well. Hopefully we get out of them soon.
Oh, I hear you. What’s nice right now is that the weather is changing here, and I’m making a big effort to get outside and enjoy the evening sunshine.
Maybe it would help to switch up your exercise for awhile as well. I know you have a bike but don’t use it a ton; have you thought about seeking out some new bike challenges?
Or what about volunteering? I know that is on your 101 things list, and it might be a nice changeup to find somewhere to volunteer for the season. One summer, I spent a few hours every Saturday helping take care of orphaned baby birds, and that was a nice alteration to my routine.
oh, and one last thought — what about traveling? Haven’t you been working on some plans? Maybe now is the time to embrace that!
Very nice reminder that discontentment happens to everyone and luckily isn’t usually permanent. I needed this today.
Good post. Agree – it’s easy to feel like a routine is monotonous. I think the weather blahs don’t help this at all either. Thankfully we’re on the cusp of spring!
Thank you! Thank you! Good to know there are others out there in a funk too! I thought I’d noticed a little off-ness in things you’ve said lately. I hope it passes for you soon!
well zan, since today is st. pattys day, i would suggest trying a nice guinness pub draft or maybe a harp or smithwicks to get rid of your duldrums! sounds like you have joined the rest of us in this funk we are in. life is definitely routine driven and can get boring after awhile. ever tried walking backwards to work? lol!!
This made me think. Thank you.
I’ve been kind of bored at work for the last year or so (major reorganization that threw us all up-and-down), but during my vacation I managed to not think about work and coming back this week, I felt motivated again. And got offered to manage an exciting project and suddenly I could feel that motivation kick in big time!
Hope your funk will pass soon.
I took a big workrisk yesterday and just decided that i was in a funkrut and if the worst thing that happens is I get a NO—at least I KNOW.
if that makes sense.
the potential for rutbustingoutof with good news was worth it…
I have definitely felt like you have before. I think your idea of making the small changes and seeing how things go is a good idea. I have a friend who always does the big, bold, grand moves, only to find out that she is still discontent. As they say, “wherever you go, there you are.”
You’ve been in your current job almost two years, and your apartment fifteen months?
Try living in the same house for fifteen years, married to the same man for almost twenty-five and the same job for seven! I understand it when you say your days start to seem exactly the same. I love your idea of accepting invitations you would normally say no to, you never what interesting people you may meet. I didn’t think I ‘needed’ a vacation but my husband talked me into it and we just returned from Cuba. I’d highly recommend it! If you can get away, do it! Go somewhere warm and come back ready for Spring!