Comments on: I Don’t Want to Be a “For Now” Woman

By: judi

judi — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 00:20:13 +0000

awww z – sorry it didn’t work out for you. that sucks. but you are so cool about it. i am glad you made a friend in the process.

By: LiLu

LiLu — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 03:36:55 +0000

Aw, thanks darling. And this post was amazing, mature, and so, so true. Many of us never get to the point where we’re able to recognize those signs and cut our losses without getting hurt. I’m glad that you have.

By: Brian

Brian — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 16:15:12 +0000

Nice work Zan. It’s always tough to walk away from something like that, even if it’s just an “okay” relationship. Stay the course though, I’m sure Romeo is waiting for you somewhere… :)

By: Surfergrrl

Surfergrrl — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:00:36 +0000

Good for you!! I think too often women hear those words from a guy, only to keep giving it multiple changes or think he will change, when in fact the guy was very upfront. Then when something happens, they blame the guy for not committing.

When someone tells you something, believe them. I had a guy I was having a FWB relationship with. He told me straight up that we would never be in a serious relationship and truth is, I didn’t want one with him either. But we are always honest with each other, and we had ground rules for what we were doing. Had I wanted something more, well I hope I would have had the good sense to end it.

Anyway, you’re a very mature person.

By: Elissa

Elissa — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 14:12:16 +0000

Sometimes it takes a while for feelings for another person to develop and for people to know that they want to be together. Things that are rushed into usually end just as abruptly.

Sorry that I didn’t respond last night. I washed my car, then went for a walk on the river trail then a late dinner. It was almost 11 before I read your message…

By: Lisa

Lisa — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 20:41:22 +0000

You have great perspective and a very reasonable, mature outlook on it. I know you’re going to meet the right guy and it’s going to be clear (and easy) from the very beginning.

By: kat

kat — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 17:20:11 +0000

My sister can do the whole don’t get deep, let’s just enjoy now thing with guys but I never could. It was either fireworks and exclusivity or I wasn’t interested. Friends are friends, but making out with someone who is making out with someone else tomorrow – not my thing. Besides, when you meet that most-amazing person ever – you can hardly eat much less think about being with someone else (at least in my experience).

I’m glad you are moving on… I know you will find the right guy for you. :)

One thing I’ve heard a few times, from different people, and really believe is true: “you will know it is right when everything is easy”

By: Holly

Holly — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 14:04:28 +0000

You have such a healthy attitude about dating – I love it. I don’t know if it’s good or bad, but if I’m dating someone and after a few weeks am just feeling like they couldn’t be or aren’t *the one*, then I move on. So many people tell me to “hang in there” and “give it time,” but I don’t want to waste someone’s time. And I REALLY wouldn’t want them to waste mine.

By: Leah

Leah — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 13:32:28 +0000

Great post! honesty is always the best policy :-)

I have to say that I’ve made some good friends from online dating. You never know when you’ll enjoy someone’s company but not quite want to date. It’s win-win, in my eyes, as long as everyone is upfront about it all.

By: [F]oxymoron

[F]oxymoron — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 13:28:36 +0000

The positive just jumps off the screen. Personally, however much it may “hurt” the other person involved, I play the honest card. It is the right thing to do – for both parties involved.

Or maybe I’m just old fashioned