(This is cross-posted at BlogHer.)
Some of my friends have animals, and they love them. They post pictures of their dogs and cats on their blogs, and on Facebook, and Twitter. And, you know, I think that’s great. I certainly don’t dislike animals. It’s just that I have no desire to own one myself.
I’m perfectly fine with busting the myth of the single cat lady. (I’m not going to call it “crazy cat lady,” because, you know, whatever. The majority of single female cat-owners I know are perfectly rational and lovely.)
I’ve dated men who had dogs, so if a guy has a pet it isn’t an automatic disqualifier — I mean, he’s the one who would have to take care of it. For my part, I’m more than happy to rub your pet’s head (as long as I can wash my hands afterward), and coo about how cute it is, and maybe even put some thought into how very social it can be to have a dog. (I mean, how easy is it to strike up a conversation with someone when they’re walking around with a dog? I see it happen all the time.)
I like animals, I just don’t love animals. If I loved an animal, I guess I wouldn’t mind having to deal with a cat’s litter box, or getting up early in the morning (or in the snow, or rain) to take a dog outside, or vacuuming up their fur.
It’s not like I’ve never had a pet. I know how it is to live with one — in fact, there have been pets in almost all of the locations I’ve lived in since I was a kid. We had a variety of animals when I was growing up. A dog, or a cat, or both. There were also hamsters, and a bird.
However, I haven’t lived with a pet for over three years, since I moved to northern Virginia in October 2006. I lived by myself first, and for the past two years I’ve had a roommate. My roommate is actually a huge animal lover, and I’m sure she’d have a cat if she could — but she happens to be extremely allergic to anything with fur. Although I’m sorry that someone who loves animals as much as she does can’t have one, I have to admit I’m glad that I don’t to worry about her bringing an animal home.
I’ve mentioned that I’m thinking about finding a new place to live, and if I decide to get a new roommate instead of living by myself, yes, I would use the presence of a pet as a roommate-disqualifier. I don’t mind pets in somebody else’s house, but given a choice I’d rather not have one in my house.
Additional downsides to having a pet that I’ve noticed and internalized: Vet bills – I’m always hearing about someone who had to spend hundreds (or even thousands) of dollars on a sick pet. General maintenance – lugging around big bags of dog food or cat litter. Inconvenience – having to come home to take a dog outside when you’d rather do something else (or having to pay someone to come in and take them for a walk in the middle of the day). Having to plan around them – dealing with boarding them when you go on vacation, or having to get someone else to watch them.
I’ve found there are certain things that are nice to have sometimes, but they’re more trouble than they’re worth the other times. This is how I feel about pets. While it might seem like a pleasant distraction to have a cat curled by my side, or for a dog to look at me with that quizzical, head-tipped gaze, the fact is I know myself, and I know that I would be annoyed and possibly resentful most of the time if I were the sole caretaker for an animal.
Does anybody else feel this way?
Related Reading:
Dolittler is a veterinarian and doesn’t understand people who don’t like pets. She compiled a list of some of the issues “that hold people back when it comes to animal-keeping,” but none of the issues she lists are reasons that I’ve given. For instance, I don’t think pets are dirty…
“Pets are dirty and spread disease”: This POV is common but does not apply to the kind of pet keeping you and I are familiar with. Still, if someone was raised by a filthy aunt who kept cats in deplorable conditions you can understand why they might forever be traumatized by the concept of cat pee. Furthermore, it’s this sentiment that keeps pets out of doors among many who hold it dear.
JanaARIES said that she didn’t grow up with many pets and didn’t used to like them…but then she got her terrier.
When I brought that little fur ball home and into my life, she did what pets do. She wrapped me so many times around her paw in about 5 seconds and showed me just how much love you can get from a pet and how much love and respect they deserve.
FibraArtysta posted “an open letter to pets” on her blog (she didn’t write but, but found it funny). An excerpt:
If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That’s why they call it ‘fur’-niture.
12 Comments
Although I own a dog and am an animal lover, I completely understand why someone would not want one. Pets are a big responsibility, almost like a marriage. There’s costs involved, mess involved, no small decision at all. I think more highly of people who take that into consideration and decide not to have an animal, than people who go out willy nilly get a pet and then throw it away after a while.
Pets, like kids, aren’t for everyone. The way you feel about pets is the way I feel about kids. I’m willing to do anything for our four dogs – spare no expense! But I don’t have the same desire to be a mother and sacrifice everything for a child – only to become their worst enemy 16 years later! Plus, pets are cheaper, love you unconditionally, and don’t talk back.
I love pets. I totally adore them. But I haven’t had one (other than a snake, which is the easiest pet ever) since I left home. And the reasons why are the very reasons you list: it’s inconvenient, it can be potentially costly, and you have to plan around them.
I’d love to have a dog. Matt and I are talking about maybe getting a cat. But every time I seriously think about it, I realize that my current lifestyle just doesn’t lend itself to that. I love being able to go somewhere on a moment’s notice or not worry about booking a pet-sitter when I want to leave town for the weekend.
What I loved best was having lots of friends with pets. When I lived in Ann Arbor, I spent plenty of time pet-sitting. I got all the joy of a pet for a few days with very little hassle, and the pets were always happy to see me when I visited my friends at other times.
When I have kids, I’m sure I’ll get pets. I expect life will be more stable then. But for now, when I’m moving around and still trying to sort out my career, it’s difficult to think of taking on yet another responsibility.
You have no idea how much I love you for this. I am not a pet person and people’s reactions are harsh. It is way more socially acceptable to say you hate kids than to say you hate animals.
What Anya said. I’ll put up with all of the annoyances of pet ownership for my dog because she brings me so much joy, but I feel the same way you feel about pets about kids. They’re just not for me. And pets just aren’t for you. Nothing wrong with that
I agree with Anya & Geeky. I love my dog. LOVE my dog. And absolutely. There are tons of inconveniences (for example, I’m definitely not traveling as much these days due to the expense of having to board her). But for me, I decided over many years of thought that they were worth it in the end to have the company, and that feeling hasn’t changed over the months (not quite a year of ownership).
But all of the drawbacks you note are important. Too often people jump in without knowing the expenses and potential frustrations they’re signing on to face when bringing home a pet. And even though I’m on the other side of team pet from you, I appreciate your thinking through it so logically. And if I ever get Dixie to DC, I’ll bring some hand sanitizer so you two can meet!
I’ve come to really love *other people’s* pets. They say over the course of a pet’s life time it will cost you 10-15K. That’s a lot of happy hour money. Plus, you can have nice furniture/rugs/floors/etc *or* you can have a pet. Add in the guilt when I’m away and right now it just doesn’t make sense.
Sometimes I feel like a bad person because I don’t like dogs more…like you, I LIKE dogs, just not enough to have one. I think a huge part of it is that I’ve never had a dog of my own, and a lot of my friend’s dogs (and houses) are, um, really stinky.
I feel about dogs the way some feel about kids…I LOVE to look at other people’s and coo over them, but not enough to take them home.
Dude. I am a vegetarian so people ASSUME I am dying to have an animal live with me.
Nope. No way. For all the reasons you mentioned. I just don’t think animals are the cutest things ever. Or even that cute.
(Plus, it annoys me that most people ADOOOORE dogs and cats but don’t give two shits about the rest of the animals and the nasty conditions they live in. /rant.)
Kids, though? I totally want some of those.
Babies grow up and learn how to communicate with words. I like that.
Totally, Zandria. When people ask if I have pets, I say I’m a plant person. Which is true. I have lots of plants. I do pretty well with them, and they can last a week or so on their own. They don’t shed or slobber or make noise. While I have known some nice pets, I’m not really a pet person. And I think that’s totally OK.
Cosign. I’m not an animal lover at all. Just because you love your pet doesn’t mean I have to love it. Please don’t laugh when it jumps/slobbers on me – it’s not cute or appreciated. I understand I’m a guest at your house, but please control your pets.
OMG, stuck in a car with coworkers who have been talking dogs for last 15 minutes. Thought of you. Eish you were here?