If you’re single, you can afford it, you are social about it, you don’t puke or have blackouts on a regular basis, and your main goal is to socialize, not to get drunk, it’s nobody’s freaking business what you do on your own time.

That being said, you might want to defriend the relative, and you might want to be a little more circumspect about what you put on your facebook account.

I like your list of things you considered as they apply to yourself. I agree – I wouldn’t think you have a problem at all.

On the other hand, having ONE drink doesn’t cause people to ask questions at all! So even if you tend to go out a lot “drinking”, you’re right, it doesn’t mean you’re getting completely wasted. I think that if you’re drinking by yourself, then that’s an indication that there could be a drinking problem.

I grew up in a family where a drink or two with dinner is standard. Even when we were kids. Not excessive, or abnormal, just…we have a glass of wine–or two–every night with our meals. Sometimes a cocktail (we’re Irish, whiskey is a must). If I’m eating out, which I often do, I always order a drink.

When actually out in a “bar” (I don’t frequent bars that often, unless they’re attached to a restaurant), I am usually the soberest and most responsible. I can’t remember the last time I deliberately drank to get drunk. It happens three or four times a year, but that’s it. Never black-out drunk. Never, ever, do I go home with a stranger, let alone kiss them.

And I drink pretty much every day, including at home. Your relative would be giving me flyers for AA, I’m sure. I’m offended for you!

I wonder, is it possible what this person meant was not to suggest that you have a drinking problem but more a comment on how you spend your free time and with whom? Could it be an implication that, for lack of a better phrase, that you are too “Sex in City”? Because whether justified or not, I feel sometimes that people look at me that way when I talk about going to bars and clubs with co-workers and friends. I never feel like it’s a comment on how much I drink; like you, I’m there to socialize, not to get drunk or even buzzed. Rather, I feel judged on how I spend my time, like I should be home with my (nonexistent) kids or singing in a church choir or at a couple’s supper club or something instead.

That being said, I think the same thing about my brother. He writes about going out drinking every night and then writes about his hangover the next day. Knowing his history, I think he does have a problem. But I’m not going to say anything to him about it.

I think that’s just how things go in this day and age. FB is so open to interpretation. People sometimes “see” what they want to “see.”