Part 1: My History, Pre-Surgery
Part 2: Surgery and the Hospital
Part 3: After the Surgery
Part 4: Three Years Later

I’m always happy to answer additional questions if anyone has them.

When I was growing up, I loved to write. It’s what I did when I wasn’t playing with my two sisters or reading (and re-reading) as many books as I possibly could. (I was homeschooled and lived in a rural area, so options were limited.) I would color my coloring books as quickly as possible so I could make up my own stories to go along with the pictures. I would then read that story to my mom and sisters as they turned the pages at my direction. When I got older, I wrote longhand in notebooks; I pecked out stories on my dad’s typewriter, carefully covering any typing mistakes with a dab of Wite-Out correction fluid.

I was still writing stories when I reached my early teens. By that time, my favorite part of the process was setting up the cast of characters; I would typically only write 5-10 pages of the actual story before I got bored and moved on to a new story line. I always fashioned the main character — always female — into an idealized version of the person I wanted to be (beautiful, rich, talented, with an extensive wardrobe of clothes that weren’t available to me in real life) instead of the person I actually was at the time (average looking, not wealthy, not talented in any stand-out way).

I believe my short attention span when it came to writing stories was exactly why I embraced blogging ten years later. I don’t write fiction anymore. Blogging taught me it was okay to write a few paragraphs about whatever I wanted and move on to something completely new. Suddenly I found myself writing about me and my life; not the fictionalized character I thought I wanted to be when I was a child. At some point I realized that my life, my thoughts, and my reactions to things, were enough. I am enough.

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For most of my life, I never thought of myself as creative in the traditional sense. I thought creativity meant creating physical things. I had no talent for drawing, painting, knitting, or anything crafty in general — and no interest in learning. But now I understand that writing is creative. I’m creating something new whenever I write. Even if my sentiment echoes a topic which has already been written about extensively by other people, the way I string words together will always be different than how it has been said before.

Of all the full-time jobs I’ve had since I was 18 years old, I’ve never had one in which I felt creative. Out of necessity, most workplaces are made up of procedures and rules, standards of time-in and time-out, specific hours and breaks, dress codes, performance measures and goals.

I’m not doing what I loved to do as a child. I believe this is why I have never felt fulfilled at any of my full-time jobs.

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For three years, BlogHer.com paid me to write for them. It was a fair rate and I enjoyed doing it. I liked the satisfaction of hitting the Publish button and getting feedback (as I still do).

I stopped writing for BlogHer for a variety of reasons, but when I read that post again after almost a year, I realized I left something out: A big reason why I quit BlogHer was because I no longer wanted to work the extra hours it required. I already had a full-time, 40-45 hours per week (not counting commuting time) job, and the salary I was making from my day job was sufficient. I decided I didn’t need the extra money anymore. I wanted my free time back. So I quit.

In other words, I chose the safe, non-creative route that pays a crapload more money than writing does. A life of commuting, constant performance evaluations, office politics, and corporate goals and expectations that are not necessarily my own.

I chose the safe route even though I have never experienced a greater sense of pride than publishing a blog post and being told it has resonated with someone. I have never received a greater compliment than from someone who praised me for my writing.

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My blog topics change as I get older. My blog is almost 9 years old; I started it when I was 22 and I will turn 31 next month. When I was in my early-to-mid 20s, I wrote about my various traveling adventures (driving cross-country multiple times by myself, spending a college semester in Amsterdam), in addition to my quarter-life crisis. In my late 20s I started writing for BlogHer, focusing on living life as a happy single woman, dating, and engaging in various fitness escapades (attempting a variety of classes I’d never done before just to see what they were like).

I haven’t found my writing niche in my 30s. I don’t mean “niche” in that I can’t write about whatever I want (which is what I’ve always done), but “niche” in that, in the past, my posts have generally had a common thread. Although I know who I am and what I want to accomplish in this decade, my writing has remained virtually stagnant.

It’s not that I don’t have ideas for topics to write about. Ideas for blog posts come to me all the time. It’s impossible to spend 7-8 years treating everything you see, hear and do as potentially blog post-worthy and not remain in that mindset to a degree.

What has stopped me from taking the time to write those posts is being unsure if I’m ready to re-commit to regular blogging again. After all, if I’m not ready to write on a regular schedule, what’s the point in randomly putting up well-thought out posts that will probably take several hours to write? So instead of spending my time writing, I socialize, cook, watch a movie, take a walk, or read a book.

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When I was a kid, one of my mom’s good friends told me she was sure I would write a book one day, and when I did, she wanted me to dedicate it to her. I have a notoriously bad memory and that particular incident took place over 20 years ago…but I have never forgotten that conversation. If I write a book one day, I will dedicate it to Theresa.

When I started this blog in September 2002, I slapped my name in the web address and it’s been there ever since. I don’t regret that, but sometimes there are topics I don’t write about in detail because my name is uncommon and you can easily find a photo to confirm who I am. When you don’t have an anonymous blog, the major things going on in your life are often the very things you don’t feel comfortable sharing with an unknown audience.

If I were anonymous, I would tell you about my recent performance review at work. Don’t get me wrong; it was not negative. There were “Suggestions for Improvement,” of course, but those are normal and expected. These days I’m supposed to have a performance review every four months, with the Big Annual Extravaganza Review taking place in April — a recap of the four previous reviews, a comprehensive self assessment, meetings with my coach, conversations about goals, and questions like “Will you be going for the such-and-such certification this year?” Although I realize they serve a purpose, I kind of hate performance reviews.

If I were anonymous, I would go into detail about why this post speaks to me. Instead, I’ll share a few quotes:

Do you want to follow the masses, affording yourself an even-keeled, average, run-of-the-mills life? Yes, you will most likely see your next paycheck, the one that comes every 2 weeks. But what you give in return is your life. [...]

What if your life ends sooner than when you’re ready for retirement? You cannot outline the course of your life, as much as you try. No amount of 1-year plans, 3-year plans, 5-year or 10-year plans will ever account for the sudden happenings of life as it was meant to occur.

Good grief, I know it’s cliché to say “I don’t want to be on my deathbed and regret not taking chances in life.” But fortheloveofgod…it’s true.

If I were anonymous, I would tell you about my boyfriend. I would tell you how, even after we decided to become an “official” couple, several months went by before I felt comfortable referring to him as my boyfriend in front of other people. Not because I felt any hesitation about us being together…I simply was not used to it. The spoken word felt strange on my tongue. I am almost 31 years old, and there has only been one other guy I referred to as my boyfriend. However, I am getting used to the term again. And honestly, I feel so lucky to be with this guy who is…totally unlike anyone I’ve ever dated before…encourages me…puts a goofy smile on my face…someone I don’t get tired of, no matter how many days in a row we see each other.

When I sit down and think about writing a post, those are the topics that come to mind. Work. (It’s a corporate job. Don’t screw it up, Zan.) My relationship. (While I talked extensively in the past about my online dating adventures, something longer-term deserves more privacy.) My future: Where I see myself in a few years, what I want to be doing.

It’s all there. I’m sorting it out.

I started this blog when I was 22. Back then, there were several bloggers I read who were in their late 20s, and I remember thinking that they weren’t old — but they were older than me, and at times I wondered what my life would be like when I reached 29.

Well, here I am. I’m certainly different than I was seven years ago, and for that I am thankful. There are a few things I wish I would have accomplished by now that I haven’t, but truthfully, for the most part, I’m happy with who I am.

This is what being 29 means to me:

I like where I live. I’m healthy. I have great friends and family. I’m debt-free. I’m not stressed-out. I own a car, and I have fun gadgets, like a laptop and an iPhone.

I went to New York City a few weeks ago, and Jacksonville before that. I’ll be flying to Chicago next month to attend my third BlogHer conference. I’m planning my first-ever trip to Idaho and Montana to visit my aunt and check out some national parks.

I have over three weeks of vacation time saved up at work that need to be used. This fall, I’ll be a bridesmaid in my little sister’s wedding. I’ve also been known to to whip up a mean batch of red velvet cupcakes from scratch.

Those things sound pretty great to me. I feel like my life is better now than it was when I was 22, and I hope it continues to get better.

I’m pretty positive it will.

1. If you had the opportunity to read the thoughts of one man (think What Women Want), who would you choose, and why?

I wouldn’t want to read the thoughts of someone I was romantically involved with. Although it would be nice to know if they were lying about something, I wouldn’t want to know what my partner was thinking all the time. In the absence of that choice, if I had to choose someone (this isn’t a skill I’ve ever wanted to have), I guess I would choose someone really evil who was planning to commit a terrorist act by killing a lot of people. I’d intercept his evil plans and save a lot of lives.

2. You are very involved with the BlogHer community. What advice would you offer to a woman interested in writing quality content for BlogHer, or any other established online community?

First and foremost, if you want to write quality content for an established site, you have to want to write whether you’re getting paid to do it or not. I’d been blogging on my personal site for over four years before I started writing for BlogHer. How did that come about? I’d been reading and commenting regularly on the site, and in late 2006 I read a post that was related to single women.

One of BlogHer’s co-founders, Lisa Stone, left a comment on that post eluding to the fact that she was looking for a Singles editor. I wrote her an email and told her I was interested; she decided to give me a chance…two years later, I’ve gone from four posts a month to eight and I also write about fitness. It’s a great thing.

3. One day you run into Oprah while devouring a chocolate cupcake with peppermint icing at Hello Cupcake. She says, “Hey Zandria, I want you to come on my show next week and discuss a few of the things you blog about.” What would you discuss?

I don’t watch Oprah very often, but I know she’s an inspiration to a lot of women. As for me, the posts I’ve written that are most important to me are the ones that I feel have inspired other people. Things that I find inspiring tend to be my favorite posts when they’re written by other people, too.

If Oprah invited me to be on her show, I’d want to be involved with choosing and interviewing everyday women who decided to stop being afraid of potential consequences and went outside of their comfort zone to accomplish something they really wanted to do. It doesn’t have to be something huge, like building schools in Africa or founding a nonprofit organization. I’m talking about people who quit a well-paying to do something they really love, or maybe they hiked the entire Appalachian Trail. I believe that seeing other people accomplish these things inspires other women to do the same with their own dreams.

4. After a string of five wonderful dates, out of six, you conclude that you’ve encountered a rare species of DC man — a keeper. What did you do for the first date? The second? And what was the “not so good” date?

Since I haven’t identified a “keeper” yet, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to answer this question with dates I’ve already been on, or ones that I’d like to go on. I’d say, in general, the dates I like the best are the ones where I’m able to get to know the person. This means no movie theaters and no loud concerts (which would be considered a “not so good” date, at least while we’re getting to know each other). I like sitting somewhere (not too noisy and crowded) to have a few drinks; I also like walking around outside on a nice day.

I also wouldn’t mind doing something active, like hiking, but I’d save that for at least the second date. There’s been a few times where I consented to spending a few hours with someone I’d never met before, and it turned out to be way too long (an excursion to a museum comes to mind).

5. Imagine this…your online reading is restricted only to posts including one “tag” (keyword) of your choice. What tag would you choose, and why?

I actually have Google Alerts set up to send me an email every day on two specific tags. The tags I chose are “single women” and “fitness,” which happen to be my two BlogHer writing areas. It’s a good way for me to stay informed about what’s going on, and sometimes the posts I write are based on a topic I’ve read about through one of these alerts.

If I had to choose one of them, I’d go with “single women.” That tag pulls up information about single women all over the world. Every day something interesting pops up that I click on and read about…it’s pretty cool.

My sixth interview comes from Nadine.

1. What’s your opinion on home schooling? What are your memories about that?

This is probably the hardest question to answer because I have a lot of “What if?” scenarios in my head. (What if I’d never been home schooled at all? Or what if I’d never gone back to public school and “graduated” from home study like my older sister did? I’m sure both of these scenarios would mean that my life would have turned out very differently than it has.)

Basically, I’d have to say that I don’t think I always had ideal home schooling conditions — primarily because I feel like I missed out on certain things. I don’t care about the lack of school dances or junior high angst, but I think a larger taste of public school (other than just kindergarten/1st grade and 11th/12th grade) would have given me a better idea of what my options in life were. When I went back to public school for my junior and senior year of high school, I got A’s and B’s right away even though I’d been home schooled for the previous 7 years. I belonged to some honor societies and took a few honors classes, but I know I could have done more. It took me a while to feel like I fit in there, though, after having been gone for so long. By the time I was starting to feel comfortable, it was time to graduate.

That being said, I know that my home schooling experience contributed to who I am today, and I know my parents had good intentions.

2. Where do you think we’ll go when we die?

I grew up in a devout Baptist household, so I know the “correct” answer to this question as it relates to my upbringing. I believe in heaven and hell, but (sorry, mom and dad) most of the time it’s not something that I put any thought into.

3. Did you keep something from your childhood that still means a lot to you?

I still have the baby book my mom put together for me that follows my first few years after birth. It’s the oldest thing I can think of that I own, and it means a lot to me. I haven’t looked at it in a while…I should do that sometime soon.

4. If a non profit organization gave you enough money to live in a third world country for 6 months, would you move there to help this organization with helping people?

I’m trying not to sound like a spoiled brat, but it would probably depend on the living conditions. Would it be very-very hot there? Would I have enough to eat and drink? Would I be expected to do very hard, physical labor? If I were asked to go somewhere for that long and the conditions were right; yes, I would put some serious thought into it.

5. If you had to choose between keeping your memories from birth till now and forever lose the ability to remember new things OR forget all the memories from birth to now but keep the ability to remember new things? What would you choose?

I would choose the second option — I’d forget all the memories from birth to now but keep the ability to remember new things. Even though my past memories have made me who I am today, I can’t imagine going forward only remembering those things, but not being able to retain anything new. I could always build new memories.

1) When I was in college, living in Richmond, I volunteered at a domestic violence shelter for about six months. A big part of my job was organizing the vast amount of clothing donations in the basement (when women and children came to stay in the house, they were told they could take whatever they needed).

2) I’m a procrastinator. Example: I just took my car in last week to have the annual inspection done. It was over a month overdue. In the past, I’ve never been more than a few days late — but I don’t use my car very often (and when I do, it’s usually at night, when it’s dark), so I didn’t feel the need to make it a priority.

3) A few people at work have told me that I can be…scary. It’s not like I try to be scary on purpose! I think it’s because I don’t always go out of my way to be overly-friendly with people.

4) Mon-Fri, I have oatmeal for breakfast. And sometimes, because it’s convenient, I’ll have it for an afternoon snack, too. (Since I bring my food to work with me, it tends to be something simple that doesn’t take up a lot of room in my purse.)

5) Something that annoys me: if I finish lifting weights at the gym and someone says to me, “That didn’t take long” or “Leaving already?” C’mon, people! If I’m not doing cardio and I’m only there to lift weights, I don’t think it’s unusual to be there for only half an hour.

6) I keep a toothbrush in my desk drawer at work because I like to brush my teeth in the mid-to-late afternoon. It’s a signal to myself that it’s time to stop snacking until dinnertime (and also a nice way to freshen the breath). I’ve never seen anyone else brush their teeth in the ladies’ restroom, though.

7) I’m not a fan of sweaters. In fact, I haven’t worn any sweaters so far this winter. At this point I only own a few of them, and they’re sitting on the top shelf of my closet. I just don’t need something that bulky since I wear a big coat when I’m outside, and it’s warm enough inside my apartment and workplace to get away with short sleeves.

My fifth interview comes from Janet, aka Love is Blonde.

1. If I gave you a canvas and a full palette of paint right now, what would you paint and would it be any good?

I’d have to paint something abstract and hope, by sheer luck, that it turned out semi-presentable. In other words, no, Zan doesn’t have any mad painting skillz (which is unfortunate, because I do have a few family members who are talented artists).

#69 on my 101 Things list is to Paint a picture, so I guess I’ll have to locate painting materials at some point.

2. Do you think your birth order has made an impact on your personality?

Sure it has, but I’m thinking about it in the context of the experiences I’ve had compared to my siblings. I’m the second-oldest of five kids (one older sister, one younger sister, two younger brothers).

My older sister has been through situations I didn’t have to deal with, so I got lucky in that way. But I was old enough that I helped take care of my brothers when they were growing up, so I had that experience. And it also means that my youngest brother, with his oldest sister being fifteen years older than he is, has pretty much always had grown-up sisters in his life.

My brother was only three years old when our parents separated (and later divorced); I was already sixteen. I was home-schooled for seven years; he’s always been in public school. I wasn’t allowed to listen to non-Christian music or watch unsanitized TV programs and movies; the same restrictions have never been in place for him. We grew up in completely different environments — so yes, at least in my household, birth order had a huge impact on my personality.

3. Would life be any different if you were a brunette instead of a blonde?

It’s impossible to say. In certain situations, no, I don’t think life would be any different. I don’t think I’d be treated any differently at work, and I’m sure my relationship with my friends and family would be the same.

As for the more casual, first encounter-type meetings? Well, let’s say I decided to go to my favorite neighborhood bar with my hair dyed brown, or wearing a brown wig. When I go there as a blond, who I talk to depends entirely on the night — sometimes I talk to new people, sometimes I don’t. So what this indicates to me is that if I went there with brown hair, looking to talk to someone, and had bad results, it wouldn’t necessarily mean it was because of my hair color. Different people are attracted to different things.

4. Which type of uniformed man is the hottest of all, in your humble opinion?

Janet! Men in uniforms? What the hell are you talking about?

If I were forced to give it some thought, I guess I’d choose military guys and police officers. A big part of it’s due to how they keep themselves in shape — I like that. And because of that reason, formerly-uniformed guys (who look like they could still wear such a uniform), are included in this group.

5. Would you ever go on a reality TV show?

I like to think that if the right opportunity presented itself, I’d be open to trying something new. So I guess the answer is, “Possibly.” It would depend on what the show was about. I can’t say there are many reality shows I’ve seen that I would ever try (“The Bachelor” and “Survivor” are negative examples that come to mind), but if the concept intrigued me? Well, then…possibly.

My fourth interview comes from Zipcode.

1. Have you always been into fitness? What is your favorite activity to keep you into shape?

Honestly, for most of my life I never gave fitness a lot of thought. If we were doing physical activities in my church group, or if I was running around outside with my sisters, that’s just what I did. I joined a gym when I was in my late teens, but I only went a few times. (And I was charged monthly for two years after that. Luckily the charge was only about $16 per month — thanks to it being a small, ladies-only gym in Richmond.)

I’d never purposefully lifted any kind of weight heavier than a 5-lb. dumbbell (which doesn’t even count, since it was a halfhearted attempt and never on a regular basis) until July 2007. For a more detailed explanation of how I got interested in fitness, read this post about how fitness changed my life.

My favorite activities are walking and weight-lifting. Walking, because I don’t mind doing it anywhere, at any time (unless I’m wearing uncomfortable shoes). Weight-lifting because it makes me feel strong, and capable, and it’s changed the shape of my body.

2. Have you ever gotten in trouble with the law?

Do you mean “for real” in trouble? Or “fake” in trouble with someone who works in law enforcement?

(Oh, silly me, of course you meant the former. Too bad, because the second option would have been a more interesting story…)

The only “for real” trouble I’ve ever been in with the law was traffic-related. Running a red light, speeding, that kind of thing. The last time I got a ticket was years and years ago, though. (The last time I got pulled over, on Thanksgiving day, the officer let me go. I think it’s because I utilized The Almost-Hysterical Girl Voice.)

3. Are you in your dream profession? If not, what would you like to do?

I’m an Executive Assistant. I doubt many people in my profession would say that they’re in their “dream job,” but all things considered, I don’t have anything to complain about. My job is low-stress for the most part; I’m recognized and thanked for what I do; I have some great co-workers; very good benefits; I receive a salary that allows me to pay my bills, spend on entertainment, and still have some left over to put in savings; etc.

However, I don’t plan to be an Executive Assistant for the rest of my life. It’s working for me for right now, but if I have an epiphany, or a new opportunity comes my way that I just can’t turn down — I’d certainly address it. (And I certainly wouldn’t argue if that new job allowed me to write for a living.)

4. Where would you like to travel to this year?

I’m certain that I’ll get out of the U.S. this year. I still haven’t decided for sure which countries this trip will include, but I have some options. (I know people in the Netherlands, Austria, Hungary, and Japan, and I’ve been invited to join a few friends for a trip to Rome this summer.)

5. Have you ever seen Monty Pythons Holy Grail? If so, what is your Quest? If not, go rent it this weekend!

Never seen it! If you have a copy and want to lend it out, I’ll be happy to oblige. Not this weekend, though — I’m spending the night in Richmond tomorrow night, have a hair appointment Saturday afternoon, plans for Saturday night back in Alexandria, and a Super Bowl get-together on Sunday afternoon.