1) Owww…

There’s a tapas restaurant in Chinatown called La Tasca. I went there for dinner, had a few drinks, and when I got up to go to the restroom, I happened to disregard the step that led from the eating area to the bar area. SMACK!!! I landed on my hands and knees. Two employees immediately rushed to my aid, but I stood up, assured them I was fine (except for my pride, of course), and went on my way.

This was one of my legs the following day (and yes, the other leg was bruised as well, but just the knee — not the shin).

2) I will kick you!

So the bruise above happened to me…the bruise below was caused by me. See, I told my friend J.J. that I have strong legs. Being a strong guy himself, he dared me to kick him as hard as I could in the side of his chest. He was standing in front of me, and I was sitting sideways on the couch and trying my best to kick the shit out of him. My foot connected with his chest about five times before I got him in the kidney and he called off the kick-fest. He had a bruise for over a week before it faded (this photo was taken pretty soon after it happened).

3) Just…no

Vehicles like this shouldn’t be allowed on the road. They’re way too distracting. I happened to park next to this van while visiting a Target store in Alexandria, Va.

4) Pretty cars

In my ever-continuing quest to make you guys think that I have some kind of “thing” for men in uniform, I present…lots of police cars lined up in a row! The best part? This photo was taken right outside the building where I work. The building beside ours (a museum) was having a fancy party and the D.C. police department blocked off the road for a few hours.

5) A tiny present

This photo goes back to last Christmas. My friend Mary likes to give a bunch of random gifts rather than just one thing. When I saw this, I had no idea what could be in a package this tiny — and it tripped me out that she took the time to wrap it so carefully. So what was it? A travel-sized container of dental floss. Mary’s big into teeth-cleaning and thought I needed something I could easily carry around in my purse.