Category Archives: Relationships

The Great Cohabitation Adventure

When my boyfriend and I made the decision to move in together, I volunteered to help him pack up his old apartment. I am experienced with this task; I have lived in five different places since I moved to the Washington, DC area five years ago.

I told Paul I was happy to help him pack the apartment he’d been living in for the past six years, but I did give him a warning in advance: part of my job would be to question the necessity of his keeping certain items, but he was free to veto me at any time. I am a fan of getting rid of items I no longer use or consider important (I take a donation to Goodwill every time I move, but I still think I have more belongings than I need).

Our system worked well, for the most part. He was disappointed about getting rid of his coffee table (we ended up retaining most of my living room furniture and put his furniture in the office/guest room), and there are a few small items he agreed to part with during The Great Apartment Purge 2011 that he has since wished he’d held on to. However, we made it through the process with minimal trouble and we are both satisfied with the result.

The move occurred one month ago today, over the first Saturday in December. It took a few weeks to get completely unpacked (our new apartment is located in the same building as my old one so I can’t complain about the new commute) and we still have some pictures to hang, but for the most part, we are done.

We both held on to some things we don’t technically need, which means we now have duplicate items in our newly combined household. We have two complete sets of pots and pans. We are using my silverware, but his is packed in a large Ziploc bag not far away. We have three kitchen shelves crowded with coffee cups, glasses, and beer mugs…for two people to use. We also have two flat-screen televisions. I assume these extra items will figure themselves out – or we’ll decide which ones we use most often and donate the rest – the longer we live together.

Most importantly, living with Paul is easy. It’s fun, it’s great, it’s right, and I’m looking forward to spending 2012 and beyond as part of this new joint household.

One Year Ago Today

My boyfriend and I are celebrating our one-year anniversary today. I’m so lucky we got this far — we almost blew it last year.

Paul and I met a few weeks after my 30th birthday in June 2010. I was hanging out in the basement of Capitol Lounge to celebrate a friend’s engagement (he was there with a friend; not part of my group). We went out twice over the next several weeks, but due to various complications — both of us having people in our lives that we needed to deal with before starting a serious relationship with someone else — we just…fizzled out. It’s kind of scary how easy it was. Paul invited me out for a third date that would have taken place on a weekend night in July; I told him I had something else to do; I sent him a text on Monday morning to see how his weekend had gone; he didn’t respond. And I never followed-up.

But I didn’t delete his number from my phone. Over the next several months, I ended things for good with the other guy, re-joined Match.com, and went on a few dates with completely unmemorable people. I thought about contacting Paul on numerous occasions, but something always held me back. With other guys I’d dated — especially someone I’d only been out with twice — I never would have contacted them again after such a long time. I thought that if I dated someone and it didn’t work out, I was supposed to forget about them. Move on.

In late October 2010, I eschewed that rule and decided to contact Paul again. I didn’t want to limit myself to a text and I didn’t have his email address, so I looked him up on Facebook and sent him a message. He responded the same day. He was friendly, glad to hear from me, and didn’t bring up the fact that we hadn’t been in touch for months.

We exchanged emails over the next week and finally met for our third date on a random Thursday night after work — November 4, 2010. We now refer to our first two dates as Paul/Zan 1.0 and everything that’s happened in the past year as Paul/Zan 2.0.

November 2010 to November 2011 has been the best year of my life, and I know next year (and beyond) will be just as memorable.

Paul and Zan

(Isn’t he handsome? I’m a lucky, lucky girl.)